After that layer was sliced and put on plates, Jose cut into the third one, exposing the sponge that looked like watermelon – Liv’s favorite fruit now. “How the hell did you do this?” Jose asked, looking at me in shock while Liv squealed and reached out to try and grab a piece.
Not answering her question, I nodded at her to keep going while I lifted Liv out of her arms. “Wait, baby. There’s a better one for you to eat. We’ll get a piece of this one, though, and keep it for tomorrow, ok?” I told her, smiling when she squealed and threw her arms up in the air.
I heard the men grumbling amongst themselves, on the last layer, glaring at me and then smiling at Liv when she waved at them. I gaveth not one fuck, the smile on Liv’s face made up for all the shit they were going to give me later, so it was totally worth it. Maybe if they upped their game and put some effort into things… snort.
Finally, the knife cut through the last tier, and a bright pink sponge with daisies in it was exposed, followed by bright pink M&M’s that poured out of the center when the first piece was removed. They weren’t just any M&M’s though, and I had another two bags of them in the kitchen because I’d loved them so much.
Reaching over and picking a couple of them out, Jose turned them over in her hand to get a look at what was on them. “Holy shit, they’ve got her face on them!”
Taking one and passing it to Liv, I showed her the little picture of herself on it and burst out laughing when she pointed to herself. “Yeah, princess, you’re famous.”
I’d never thought of how it would feel to help her mom feed her a piece of her first birthday cake. Watching as she experienced new flavors and textures, seeing how focused she was on the pattern on the cake on the plate, watching her chew an M&M and her eyes go wide when she got the chocolate, and then seeing the expression on Jose’s face, knowing that I’d made this as magical for both of them as I’d aimed to… those were firsts that I hoped I never forgot even in sixty years’ time. And looking up and seeing all the men still glaring at me, knowing full well they were going to have to try to figure out where to buy a cake like this from for their own wives and kids… absolutely worth every minute of stress trying to get this together without any mishaps.
As Ren mouthed the word asshole at me, Cole scratched his nose with his middle finger, Hurst drew his finger across his throat and then pointed at me, and DB pulled his phone out – no doubt looking for where I’d got it all from – I grinned and shrugged. Again, I repeat – go big or go home, and I never intended to not go big wherever I could with my girls.Chapter 20Jose
I was nervous. No, scratch that, I was really fucking nervous. In fact, I was pretty sure I was going to be sick in the plants in front of Tabby’s house as I walked up the path to the front door. Ellis was carrying Liv beside me and giving me space to get my shit together, so I wasn’t alone, but in a way, it felt like I was. There comes a point when we face something that everyone knows is a life changing moment, and you’d love to find the words that described everything you were feeling, but you couldn’t. I’d been through this on many occasions recently, so you’d think I was becoming a pro at identifying and explaining things like this. You’d be wrong if you thought that, just saying, because that shit was hard. And the worst thing about it all was – only you could figure out how you were feeling, you couldn’t rely on anyone else to pull it out of you and put it into words. This was making me feel frustrated, which wasn’t helping the nerves that were turning my stomach inside out.
And this was a fucking big life changing moment because we were meeting our biological father for the first time.
Letting Ellis move in front of me to knock on the door, I stood still and counted to ten while we waited for it to open. When it did, Tabby took one look at me and pushed past him to hug me, and yet again it became clear that I wasn’t fighting battles on my own anymore. It was an epiphany for the heavy thoughts I’d been battling all morning, and I felt like kicking my own ass for being a bitter Betty about it all. Tabby knew how I was feeling because she was going through it all, too. Ellis knew I’d needed to think, and that I had mixed emotions about today, so he hadn’t badgered me about how I was feeling. Hell, even Liv would know how I was feeling right now because even my one-year-old wasn’t stupid. She knew her mommy wasn’t having a good time, because she kept stroking my hair and patting my cheek.