Making sure Lily was out of the way if he fell, I stood up and hit him in the jaw with an uppercut that had downed men bigger than him on a couple of occasions. When you were a Townsend, you learned to fight properly. When you weren’t the oldest out of a large amount of Townsend kids, you learned how to fight properly and effectively, so it wasn’t a surprise when he dropped down to the floor out cold.
“You’re pregnant?” I heard again, but I was already pivoting to look back at Lily.
Looking down at her stomach, I tried to figure out what I was feeling through the billions of thoughts and emotions going through me.
She’d been tight, really tight. But I also remembered wearing a condom…
Oh, fuck. Had I used the one from my wallet?
Thinking hard, I groaned and tipped my head back when I remembered that I had – the condom my friend had given me when I was fourteen. We’d thought we were the shit, and when he’d decided he was joining the Army when he graduated, we’d decided it was bros before hos and those were our bro-ho good luck charms.
That meant, I’d based our contraceptive safety on a condom that was at least eight years old.
I was such a dick!
As if knocking one asshole out tonight alongside finding out I was going to be a dad wasn’t enough, the next pain in my ass walked through the crowd of people looking between Rob and Lily in shock, not knowing what was more interesting to focus on.
“She’s having my baby, y’all!” Chris, Lily’s ex yelled, holding his arm in the air.
Hearing that, I blinked, wondering if Rob had maybe knocked something offline when he’d punched me. I hadn’t considered that at all.
But then, Lily hadn’t seemed like she was interested in him to begin with, let alone on that night when we’d hooked up…
“I never touched your dick,” Lily snapped. “We were together for five freaking weeks. Five, if you can even consider a couple of dates two people being together! And I saw it while you were sticking it to Carly and I can confirm,” she added nodding at all of us, “that the fact you’re acting like such a huge cock right now, is the complete opposite of the one you’ve got hidden away in your pants.”
His face went gray as he looked around, and then he took a step toward her intending to say something back, but as always there was someone with a quicker mind than he had ready to say something.
“Eat shit and die, asshole,” Annie yelled from behind the bar, having turned the music off so he could hear her. “She wouldn’t touch your specker of a pecker if it was made from diamonds.”
“This is true,” the woman with Lily added. “Although, judging from the look on his face, his dick was made of them.” She pointed at me.
I might have been shocked to shit, but when Chris charged at me, I started swinging. Thankfully though, Rich took my back when Chris’s friend jumped into the fight too. After that, the two of us took each other’s backs, and landed more hits than we took. I hated fighting with a passion, but this just had to be done.
Not exactly the normal way one celebrates one's impending fatherhood, but that was my kid in her belly, I was sure of it, and no way was he getting near it.ThreeLilyThere are many things in life that make you feel uncomfortable as hell. A trip to get your vagina checked, a man being the one checking it, your ex trying to lay claim to the baby you’re carrying when his dick is probably more diseased than a sewer, the fact you never touched the aforementioned dick meaning he was either delusional or believed in immaculate conception, sitting on a plastic waiting chair that felt like it’d been made from concrete sourced from the fiery pits of Hades, probably a doctor sticking their finger up your ass and wiggling it around to find something, getting a bead stuck up your right nostril when you were three and a doctor who had eaten then bulbs of garlic blowing up the other nostril to get it out, getting another bead stuck in your ear three days later, toothache, braces and sitting opposite a large group of people who are all looking at you like you knew the whereabouts in France of Max Valentin’s golden owl.
“Have any of them blinked yet?” Beau whispered out the corner of her mouth, doing exactly what I was doing and looking anywhere but at the large group of Townsends.
We’d tried leaving just after they’d all gotten here, but then some overly helpful shithead from behind the desk had told us that our ‘boyfriends’ would be released shortly.