This is where trying to do a good deed never goes unpunished.
Someone had called the po-po when the fight between Chris and Tate had broken out. By the time they’d arrived, the big guy called Rich and a couple of Chris’s friends were beating the shit out of each other too. When they’d tried cuffing Chris, he’d yelled about how he was just trying to be a good father and protecting his unborn child from a psychopath. Tate had lost his shit and gone after him again, while Chris had screamed and tried to hide behind me. Two patrons had stopped him in case he pushed me or hurt me so Chris had then started hitting them too. This meant that more patrons had jumped in, and you had another war breaking out.
Feeling guilty for being the reason that Tate had been punched twice, first by Rob and then by Chris, I’d told the po-po that my boyfriend was just protecting me and our child from my ex who was turning into a bit of a delusional stalking bunny boiler. I’d also made sure to point out to everyone that at no point had the penis attached to Chris’s body been inserted into the vagina on my own.
Chris had then said something that I hadn’t heard which had Tate going psycho again, dragging a police officer behind him as he attacked Chris, only this time with his feet which were the only part of him he had free movement of.
One of Chris’s friends had said something about Beau and Rich had also lost his shit again, so Beau had tried a similar reasoning but without the baby added in, obviously.
All fifteen men involved had been arrested and taken in the cars with pretty flashing lights to the station to be processed and questioned. We’d followed them, along with a further thirty-three patrons, to give our statements because Chris insisted he was pressing charges.
Fortunately, one of the men arrested was Rob who had said something to Chris once they were situated in their temporary new residences at the station, resulting in a fight in the cells between the men, which went in Tate and Rich’s favors.
Unfortunately, during all of this, the Townsends had been called down, and as we’d been going to leave, the most helpful man in the world yelled out that our boyfriends were going to be released. This meant we had to sit and wait, under the examination of five billion Townsend eyes, and that we were still waiting two hours later.
“I don’t know, that piece of gum on the carpet by the door looks too interesting,” I mumbled back, nodding in its direction. Actually, I was looking out the door at where freedom lay, but I didn’t want to say it out loud in case one of them heard.
Both of our heads turned in the direction of a door opening loudly – unlike the Townsends who didn’t take their eyes off us – but our hopes were dashed when out came the officer who had arrested Tate. Seeing us still waiting, he walked over and dropped me right in the biggest, deepest vat of shit in the history of mankind – well, unless you were cheating and your sex accomplice walked up to you in front of your partner and said thanks for the hard banging last night. Just to say, I had to imagine that would be a bigger vat of shit to wade in.
“Congratulations on the baby, ma’am,” he announced as he walked over. “Gotta say, I’ve known Tate since he was just a little ‘un and I don’t think I’m alone when I say this,” he gestured with his thumb to the crowd behind him. “But I think we all thought it best he never reproduce. That said, that guy is taking the news better than I did. He’s back there talking to Suave about diapers, butt cream, Gerber’s baby clothes and wanting it to be a boy.” Not waiting for a response, the over sharer then turned and waved at the Townsends and brought them into the conversation too. “Congrats y’all. I fainted when I found out I was gonna be a daddy and made her go to three doctors to make sure. That boy ’o yours is prouder than a peacock, though. Why, I said just now to her,” he used the same thumb in my direction now, not seeing the glare I was directing at his back, “he’s talking about all things baby. Like he’s a walking pregcyclopedia.”
“A what?” Levi asked, and then rubbed his face with both hands. “Jesus, I thought we discussed getting his balls done before he hit puberty?”
“No, you wanted to call a vet in and get what Rocky had done to his balls done to Tate’s,” a woman hissed at him. There was one Townsend I hadn’t had the honor of meeting or even seeing in passing, Tate’s mom Erica, so I figured this was her. “We didn’t agree, plus it was illegal.”