Pretty When She Cries - Black Mountain Academy

“That’s just… so messed up. I’m sorry, Jared. You didn’t deserve that.”

For a second, we sit there in silence, digesting the awful truth. I hate Audrey for what she did to him. But more than anything, I hate that he’s hurting because of me. I know it might not mean much now, but I want him to know that I’m here as a friend. A real, honest to god friend.

“I want to apologize for my actions,” I tell him. “What I did that night was rotten and I’m not going to make excuses for my behavior. I just let everything go way too far.”

“This place has a tendency to do that to you,” he answers wryly. “Don’t sweat it, Kail. You did me a favor, honestly. I mean, yeah, my parents were dicks when they found out, but that’s nothing new. I can be myself now. And fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.”

“Yeah, fuck them.” I glare around the room.

We both laugh then, and it feels like another enormous weight has been lifted off my chest. But the humor gradually disappears, and Jared lowers his voice.

“I’m sorry someone hurt you,” he says. “If I ever find out who it was—”

“You’ll have to get in line,” I tell him jokingly. “Because I’m going to murder him first.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Just be careful, okay? I’m here to walk you to class, or your mom’s car, or wherever else. You shouldn’t be alone until that guy is off the streets.”

“Thank you.” I feel a little relieved by his offer. I’d rather have his company than the stuffy, unsociable staff member they assigned to watch over me. “I might have to take you up on that.”That night, my mom prolongs dinner with three different courses of my favorite dishes. I suspect her motives are to keep me talking about my day. She’s still worried about me and needs my constant reassurances that going back to school was the right decision. To make her feel better, I fill her in on the mundane details, leaving out the confrontation with Audrey. While my mom might be proud of me for standing up for myself, telling her about it would only make her worry more.

After dinner, cake, and a movie, I shower and then head up to the guest bedroom to read. I’m still stuck in the main house, so we’ve been carrying what I need back and forth from the pool house every few days. I think my mom believes if she brings enough of my stuff back here, I’ll just stay. But I’m determined to get back my little slice of independence just as soon as I can.

I crack open my worn copy of Dead Until Dark and snuggle into the bed. I’ve been on a vampire kick lately, so I’m revisiting some of my favorites. This series never disappoints, and if anyone asks, I’ll always be Team Eric.

I must fall asleep at some point because I wake with a jolt and the book clatters to the floor. The room is dark, and I’m trying to figure out what woke me when I see the shape of a man standing next to my bed. A scream bubbles up my throat, but he slaps his hand over my mouth before I can release it.

“Kail, it’s me.”

My eyes snap up to his, and I’m trying to make out his face, but I can’t. Sensing this, he turns on my bedside lamp, and my galloping heart seems to stop completely when I find Landon staring back at me. I pry his fingers off my mouth and take a deep, gulping breath.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just needed to see you.”

My tortured boy is back. His eyes are a stormy sea of gray, and for a moment, I can’t help getting lost in them all over again.

Our knees touch when he sits on the bed. His warmth penetrates my icy heart like the sun, dissolving the small barrier I had only just erected to keep him out. Why does he make me feel so weak? Why can’t I just feel nothing for him when I know it’s the best thing for me?

“What are you doing here?” That’s the question that comes out of my mouth, but all I really want to ask is if he’s okay. Where has he been? What has he been doing? And did he miss me too?

“Kail—” His voice cracks, and emotion chokes the light from his eyes as they move over my face.

Right now, he’s looking at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. I wish I could believe it. I wish we could rewind time and change so many things, but we can’t.

“I need to talk to you.” He reaches for my hand, but I pull away.