“Yes, the doctor prescribed antibiotics”“Did the doctor happen to mention that any form of antibiotic cancels your contraception”“No, he fucking didn't” I feel pissed off and scared I'm fucking pregnant (fucking pregnant.... shit) I'm only nineteen for fucks sake!“Ok sit back and relax long breaths in slow breaths out, and I'll just step out and get the ultrasound machine and we'll have a look and see what's going on in there ok” she smiles at me patting my leg and leaving me breathing into the paper bag. She comes in a few minutes later pushing a machine with a screen and tubes“Ok Niya scoot down a little for me and let’s see what's going on lift your shirt for me and this is just a little gel so we can see” and she squirts some clear fluid onto my stomach“Argh that’s cold”“Sorry” she picks up one of the tubes with a ball on the end of it and presses it into my stomach and the screen comes to life and then a loud thumping sound echoes in the room“What's that noise?”“That's the baby's heart beat and this is your baby” she points to the screen, I can't really understand what I'm looking at but I burst into tears“That's my baby” she nods smiling at me“Let’s take some measurements” she pushes some button and clicking other things “Would you like a photo” I nod“Yes please, is the baby healthy”“It looks all good Niya, heart rate is healthy nothing out of the ordinary, I'd say you were around fourteen weeks” I'm having a baby and for the first time in weeks my heart bursts with happiness and starts coming to life I'm having a baby and I start crying with happy tears.“Do you want me to give you a moment”“No, I'm good”“Ok so... how are you feeling”“Excited........Scared”“You'll be fine sweetheart, the nausea should teeter off within the next couple of weeks and you'll feel a lot more energized when you get food into you, I've got some pamphlets here about pregnancy and I'll write you a prescription for vitamins, is there anything you want to ask me” I shake my head no I've gone completely blank (I'm pregnant...fuck)Chapter TwoColtIt's been two months since she's been gone and I've finally pulled my head out of my ass, it took my Grandma coming over to Tiny's and throwing a bucket of ice cold water on my passed-out ass on my bedroom floor.“WHAT THE FUCK?” I yelled so loud with the intense cold waking me straight up“Get you fucking ass up now boy and get down stairs, this is a fucking intervention NOW MOVE” I slowly got up drenched from head to toe and had a quick hot shower my head spinning from the booze.*“Sit” Grandma says pointing to the chair and hands me a black coffee “What the fuck are you doing boy?”“She ain't comin' back Grandma there's no fuckin' point” (slap) I grab my face and stare at her (fuck she just hit me) “WHAT THE FUCK” I yell at her“You know you fucked up”“Grandma I didn't fuck Star”“Tobias everyone saw your naked ass in bed with that girl”“Grandma I fuckin' know I didn't, why doesn't anyone believe me?”“Baby if she came back tomorrow, how do you think you'd get her back, you look like fucking shit”“Thanks”“I'm telling you straight boy... pull your fucking finger out and grow up”“Grandma THERE'S NO FUCKIN' POINT” (slap) she hits me again this time a little harder the stings radiating through my cheek“There's always hope Tobias don't give up, she'll come home I'd bet my life on it”“She won't”“She will.... a woman knows when she's found the one Tobias and for Niya you’re her one, she's your other half. She just needs time she'll be back baby, but you need to earn it do you hear me”“Yes ma'am”“Good now clean your shit up have a shave and get back to work, apologies to your brothers and get ready for her coming home”**It took seventeen bottles of Bourbon to say sorry one for every brother and two for Blaze, I listened to my Grandma and got my shit together, I'd gotten so fuckin' pissed at myself when I realized what I'd done that I threw my bed away at the clubhouse not wanting to taint Niya anymore with that horrible memory. I even changed rooms, every time I walked in there my fuckin' heart broke, I was ganna prove to her when she came home that I was worth it that we were worth fighting for.“Hay fuck nut what you doin' tonight”“Nothin' why”“Drinks at Cuff's”“Nah brother I'm headin' over to Razor’s to apologies to Maggie”“Again, give it up man in her eye's you’re the devil who lost her little girl”“I gotta try man I feel like shit every time I see Razor, have you noticed he's lost weight and not in a healthy way”