Not Meant To Be Broken

His grip on my hand was firm and it took everything I had not to squirm away. Apart from Zach, I still had trouble with physical closeness, especially with strangers. He didn’t let go of my hand when he said. “So you are Zach’s girlfriend.” The word sounded like an insult from his mouth but I kept a polite smile plastered on my face. “You can call me Robert.”

Zach cleared his throat, and his father finally released me. I exhaled quietly, but tension lingered in my muscles. “Where’s Mother?” Zach asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

“She’s getting ready.”

“Ready?”

“For the luncheon at our country club. Didn’t I mention it? We’ll eat there, so you can meet a few of our business partners, and they can meet you and your girlfriend.”

I tensed and peered up at Zach. I wasn’t wearing something that was fancy enough for a country club luncheon. I probably didn’t even own anything that came close to being expensive enough to be considered acceptable in such a club. Robert’s deprecatory expression as he took in my skirt and blouse made that more than clear.

Zach narrowed his eyes at his father. “We aren’t dressed for a fancy luncheon.”

“We still have a few of your business suits and dress shirts upstairs. They should still fit.”

“And what about Amber?”

“She can borrow something from your mother.”

Zach dragged me away from his father and led me upstairs. “I’m sorry. He’s doing this on purpose. He loves to put me on the spot.” He turned to me. “We can cancel. We don’t have to go to the fucking luncheon.”

I smiled. I knew Zach needed to go there. Once he started working in his father’s company he would have to deal with these people all the time. “Maybe it won’t be too bad? It’s good practice, right?”

He kissed me. “You’re too good for this world.” Then he shook his head. “My mother is a bit taller than you. I hope we find something. I hate this.”

We stopped in front of a door and knocked. “Mother?”

“Come in,” came a soft voice. Zach pushed open the door, revealing a huge bright bedroom. His mother stood in front of a long mirror, with a glass of red wine in her hand. She was wearing a tight blue dress with a pencil skirt and high heels. She looked sophisticated, almost regal but over all that hung an air of sadness. She took another gulp from the wine, then set the glass down on the vanity next to a half empty wine bottle. Zach’s grip on my hand tightened before he let go and wrapped his arm around his mother in an awkward hug. She patted his back, her eyes on me. Her expression wasn’t hostile, nor friendly. It was, if anything, resigned and hollow. She pulled back, then strode toward me. “Nice to meet you.” From close up, it was obvious that she had done something to her face, maybe Botox, to get rid of the wrinkles and hide her age. Her breasts didn’t look natural either. Had she done it because she hoped Zach’s dad would stop cheating on her if she changed?

“Father said you would give Amber something to wear for the luncheon.”

“Of course,” she said, her eyes drifting toward the wineglass. “Get ready. We don’t have much time. I will take care of your girl.”

Zach looked at me and I nodded my okay. He pulled the door closed. I twisted my hands, suddenly nervous about being alone with Zach’s mother. She snatched up her wineglass and emptied it in one long gulp, then she smiled wistfully. “I was as wide-eyed and hopeful and happy and young as you are now.” She filled her wineglass again. I wondered if she’d drunk what was missing in the bottle before we’d arrived and if she intended to finish it. I wouldn’t be able to walk on high heels after that much alcohol. I probably wouldn’t be able to walk at all. “That was such a long time ago.” She looked down into her glass as if she hoped to find something there that she’d lost. I could feel for her.

‘What happened?’ I wanted to ask but didn’t. Wineglass clutched in her hand, she led me through a door into a walk-in closet. It was bigger than my room in the apartment.

She turned toward me as if remembering something. “You can call me, Abi.” Then she began rifling through her dresses until she pulled out three pieces. None of them were something I’d usually wear. I pointed toward a black dress with a high collar and a beige flower at the waist. “Try it on. I’ll be outside,” Abi said, and left with her wineglass.

I quickly got out of my thick winter tights, skirt and blouse, then slipped the dress over my head. It reached my knees and was a bit too wide around the chest. It wasn’t very obvious since it wasn’t meant to accentuate that area but the waist could definitely have been a bit smaller for me.

Abi knocked before she came in, her eyes scanning me from head to toe. “Not perfect, but it should do.” She took an unopened package of nylons from a drawer and handed them to me, then moved over to the shoe shelf and grabbed a pair of very high beige high heels. They matched the color of the flower belt on the dress. “Can you walk in these?”

“I don’t know.” I admitted.

“Put on the nylons, then we’ll try.”

I put the nylons on and took the shoes from her. When I stepped into them, I swayed for a moment. I was really tall. I took a few hesitant steps. It didn’t help that the shoes were a size too big for me. Abi shook her head. “No. That’s not going to work.” She went back to her shoe shelf and searched for a long time, then picked up black pointy sling back heels. I tried them on and while they were also too big, the heel was moderate and I could actually walk like a normal human being in them. I didn’t want to embarrass myself at the luncheon by falling on my face.

Abi nodded. “Good. Let’s go. Robert doesn’t like to be late.”

I followed her into the hallway where Zach was already waiting. He was dressed in a light grey pinstriped business suit, a light blue dress shirt and a tie in a darker blue color.

He straightened when we came out, eyes roaming over me. He’d never seen me in an elegant dress before.

“I’ll give you a moment,” Abi said with a wistful expression, then she was gone.

I shrugged, embarrassed. “It’s not perfect.”

Zach put his hands on my waist and pulled me toward him for a kiss. “I prefer you in your own clothes anyway, but you look gorgeous.”

“Zach?” Robert called in an impatient tone.

Zach and I stopped kissing and walked downstairs. His father scanned me from head to toe as we arrived in the entrance hall. He didn’t look impressed even though he gave a tight-lipped smile. I hoped the other guests of the luncheon would be more like Zach and not like his father.

***

Unfortunately, most of the guests were exactly like that, or worse. Every smile seemed fake, every word loaded with innuendos I didn’t get. I smiled and laughed, but I wanted to be anywhere but there. It wasn’t as much a real lunch as an occasion to drink expensive Champagne that didn’t even taste all that good, and nibble at small appetizer that did nothing to make my hunger go away. Zach kept his hand on my waist and I was grateful for it. Mostly I watched the people around me and occasionally answered a question directed at me, but the other guests were more interested in small talk with Zach anyway. Despite the amount of wine Zach’s mother had drunk, her appearance was immaculate as she talked to other women of the country club, but every once in a while her gaze would seek out her husband who never once returned it and a ripple went through the perfect mask she wore like a second skin. Was that what longing, what loneliness looked like?

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and released a long breath when I was hidden in the toilet stall. This wasn’t my crowd. When I stepped out, I froze. Brittany stood in front of a washbasin and was reapplying lip-gloss. Her eyes met mine in the mirror. This wasn’t an accidental run-in. “You are here?” I said in surprise.