Me: Hey, you. If you need me, or a ride home, you know how to reach me.I stare at the screen, waiting for the screen to show me that my message has been read. My eyes stay glued to the screen, and I have to keep tapping it to keep it from going into sleep mode. I can’t move from this spot until I know she’s safe, and that if she needs me, I’m there.
I’ll always be there.
I don’t know how long I sit in my Jeep, staring at my phone like it holds the answer to world peace. Finally, my message shows as read, and those three little bubbles bounce.Reese: Thanks, Coop. Hunter is taking me home.Hunter. Fuck. That’s the guy who was dancing with her at the party. The night we kissed. He’s had his sights set on her, and now he’s with her. He seems like an okay guy, but Reese deserves more than just okay. She deserves everything.Me: Be safe, Reese.Reese: Always.That’s it. She doesn’t need me. I don’t know how I feel about that. I gave into temptation, and now she’s leaning on someone else. She doesn’t need me to pick her up because he’s with her. Someone who’s not me. Putting my Jeep in Drive, I pull out of the parking lot and point the it toward home. I’m in a daze most of the drive, imagining Reese and Hunter together.
When I pull into the driveway, the house is dark, which fits my mood perfectly. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone. I don’t bother with the lights and head straight for the stairs. In my room, I shut and lock the door and blindly make my way to my bed, falling face-first onto the mattress.
My bed smells like her.
Emotion wells in my throat at the thought of losing Reese in my life. I can already feel her slipping away. I knew better. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed her or touched her, but the temptation was too strong. Now, my careless actions may have lost me my best friend. I don’t know how to deal with that.
Sliding my phone out of my pocket, I scroll through my pictures. Ninety percent of them have her in them. Just like my memories. There are few that don’t have Reese in them with me. I knew leaving her would be hard, but it’s worse with this… divide I suddenly feel. Is it all in my head? Is it my regret that’s making me feel this way? Is it our new reality? Whatever it is, I don’t like this feeling.
My phone vibrates with a message from Reese. I fumble to click the icon and read her message.Reese: Just got back to the apartment. I didn’t want you to worry. Night, Coop.The agony roaring through my gut calms. I read her message three times before I reply.Me: Thank you. Goodnight.I want to say more, but I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never not had something to say when it comes to her. We talk about anything and everything, but it all suddenly feels different. We feel different. I told her that we had to stop before we couldn’t go back. What I didn’t realize was that we had already crossed that line.It’s just after four, and I know her last class of the day just ended. I also know that she doesn’t have to work tonight. Normally, that would mean that I end up at her place, or she ends up at mine. Today I don’t know what to expect. I tossed and turned all night last night, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep. It was the early morning hours before I finally lost the battle to exhaustion.
My ass was dragging at the gym this morning, and it’s still dragging as I plop down on the couch next to Nixon. “You talked to Tessa?” I ask him.
“What kind of question is that? She’s my fiancée.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes. I’ve talked to the love of my life. Have you talked to yours?”
I give him a hard look, causing him to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Dustin asks with a bag of Doritos in his hands. He takes a seat on the loveseat across from us.
“Nothing.” Nixon sobers.
“What are we doing for food? Are the ladies coming over?”
“Tessa should be here around five,” Nixon says.
Dustin looks at me, and I shrug. I’m not sure if Reese is coming over or not, and I hate that just as much as I hate this distance I feel between us. My phone is already in my hand, so I hit her name and place it next to my ear.
“Hey.” She sounds happy and not at all upset about this weekend.
“Hi. Are you coming over with Tessa?” I get straight to the point.