When Diesel answers the door, I can tell by his face that he’s already spoken to Liam.
“Diesel,” I murmur, curling my fingers into a fist and letting my nails cut into the palm of my hand.
“I thought you’d be around.”
“You’ve talked to Liam,” I respond, already knowing, but his tone is even. He’s giving nothing away, but I can tell he’s not happy.
“Did you think he wouldn’t tell me?” Diesel asks, and I was wrong. He’s not just unhappy.
He’s mad.
“No, I knew he would, I was going to tell you myself. That’s why I am here. I was hoping that maybe you would let me try to explain—”
“How you sold out the club and put my son in danger?”
“Noah,” Rory says from inside. I can physically see Diesel put a cap on his anger, trying to reign it in.
Diesel backs up, opening the door wider, waving me inside.
Suddenly, I feel like I’m walking to my doom…FuryYou know you’re a miserable fuck when alcohol doesn’t dull the pain. I stare at the whiskey left in my glass, not really wanting another drink. I drank most of the night. It didn’t help.
“You look like shit, Brother.”
I pull my gaze away from my whiskey glass to look at Devil.
“Thanks,” I mutter. I really didn’t think it was possible to drink yourself sober, but I have. Either that or I’ve been staring at my next drink so long the effect of the others has worn off.
“How you doin’, man?” he asks sitting beside me.
“Now’s not a good time to ask me that, Devil.”
“You didn’t take my advice last night, did you?”
I frown, my grip on the glass tightens, but I still don’t drink it. After I talked to Diesel, I sought Devil out. He’s the man I’m closest to in the crew. I needed to talk to someone who could listen and help me sort through everything I was feeling. He tried, but it didn’t help. His advice was to go back and talk to Ellie and try to sort shit out with her. I didn’t do that, because I wasn’t sure I could handle looking at her.
“I didn’t,” I confirm, still refusing to look at him.
“Stubborn as hell. A man has to be, but I’m thinking you got an extra dose,” he mutters.
“She betrayed the club, Devil. Ellie was an old lady for over two years. She knew the rules. She knew what a fucking toxic woman Vicki was. She knew the hell that Diesel had gone through. How in the fuck am I supposed to overlook that she helped that bitch?”
“You aren’t supposed to overlook it, but you might keep in mind that Ellie isn’t a brother. She didn’t swear an oath to this club, and she doesn’t think like a man who has seen blood spilled does.”
“Bullshit. She swore an oath to me, and I am the club,” I growl.
“You and me. We see shit in black and white, Fury. There’s good and bad and sometimes the bad has to be dealt with. Nothing in between.”
“Devil, I really can’t handle any heart to heart right now,” I mumble.
“I think you get that when I met Torrent, she wasn’t ready for me.”
“Yeah.”
“And even when I knew she loved me, instead of giving in to what we both felt, she tried to play devil’s advocate and make sure no one was hurt.”
“Devil—”
“Which kind of blew up in our faces, but still her heart was in a good place and she was letting her heart lead her decisions, which ultimately is what a good woman does, Fury. They lead with their heart, because that’s where their goodness is. A good woman feeds your soul and she does that because of her heart.”
“Fuck, man. Are you the one drinking here instead of me?”
“Just listen to me for a minute asshole. You and Ellie had been trying how long to have kids?”
“A while,” I mumble, understating it. I knew that Ellie was beginning to give up hope. The doctor had been giving her fertility medicine and each month that went by, a little more of the light inside of her died.
“She got her hopes up and they were squashed. Then, she’s faced with a fellow woman—”
“A conniving evil cunt,” I spew.
“But, still a woman. A woman who had this beautiful son that Ellie would have died to have and she turns her pain loose, telling the woman to get help before it’s too late.”
“I know what she did, Devil. She warned the bitch. If she hadn’t have done that, we could have gotten to her before she kidnapped Ryan and put him through hell,” I growl.
“And, before I would have met Rory,” Diesel says, coming up behind us. I turn to look at him. Telling him about Ellie’s betrayal was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It’s not exactly easy to look at him now. I think that’s the reason Ellie’s actions hurt the most. I owe Diesel everything. He brought me into this club and gave me a life. After getting back from overseas and seeing so much shit, suffering with PTSD, I felt like I was drowning. Being in the club gave me purpose again, and I began to heal from wounds that I wasn’t even aware I had. I owe Diesel for everything I am now. To know that the woman I loved sold him out…