“Enough,” I shout. “But if you fucking told Chloe you were through–– leaving––out on the beach, Ethan. If you blindsided her, I swear to God I’ll kill you.”
“Then here’s my last will and fucking testament,” Ethan tosses in my face. “We aren’t all as fucking perfect as you, Noah.”
I draw back, my oldest friend’s words slicing straight to my heart. “Bullshit,” I say. “I’m not perfect. You know that, Ethan.”
“It’s hard to see,” he says, “under all those layers of perfection.”
“Dammit,” I scream, moving in ready to fight. I back him against the wall, my voice louder than necessary but I don’t give a damn. “You aren’t the only one who is fucking scared. You can’t just leave when things are scary,” I tell him, pinning him to the wall. “I fucking love you, man, but you’re being an ass.”
“Oh yeah? Why don’t you break it down for me?” he asks, pushing at me to say more.
“I don’t want to be a father,” I tell him, letting him go. “I never asked for this.”
The words are finally out and I can breathe. But then I see Chloe, walking into the house, completely broken by what she just heard.
“You don’t want me either?” she asks me flatly, her face completely void of emotion.
“I want you,” I tell her, reaching for her, but she shoves me away. “I swear I do.”
“Neither of you wants me?” she asks, her eyes pools of fresh water tears. “You and Ethan both are out?”
I run a hand over my jaw. “I don’t know what I want,” I tell her. “Besides knowing I want you, I know nothing.”
“I’m kind of a package deal at the moment,” she laughs bitterly. “Goddammit, I’m pregnant, Noah. You need to know if you’re in this or not. Ethan already told me where he stands.”
Ethan steps toward her, and I want to pull him back, to save her from getting hurt anymore. Then I remember she is equally as pissed at me.
“Chloe,” I say my voice low, my heart heavy. “If I can’t be honest with you, then what is the point of any of this?” I clench my fists, feeling out of control. Wanting so badly for Chloe to wrap her arms around me and rein me in. I don’t want to be alone, but I also know I can’t hide how I feel in order to protect anyone. That isn’t living.
“You can be honest. It’s just...” She buries her face in her hands, crying. “Your honesty still hurts.”
I close my eyes, knowing that is the mother fucking truth. “I love you, Chloe. I love you so damn much.”
She shakes her head, her disappointment in Ethan and me palpable. “Just not enough to man up and be a father?”
Ethan steps toward her, reaching for her, but she raises her arms protectively. “I want to be with you, both of you.” She wipes her eyes, then covers her mouth, her lips trembling. “I want to love you and be loved by you but not if this baby is going to come between us.”
“Can we talk?” Ethan asks. “Please, let me try again. I’m out of my mind right now, and I want to make this right. I just … I don’t fucking know how.”
She shakes her head. “I’m tired, Ethan. After what you said on the beach, I figured you’d already be gone. I don’t want to chase you, but heaven knows I’m willing to fight for you. I love you, Noah, but being your girlfriend isn’t enough. I need partners who can commit to this child.”
She turns to Mason and Enzo. “I love you both too, with all that I am. And I am not going anywhere. But right now, I really need to rest. And you two,” she says, pointing to Ethan and me, “need to figure out what you really want. No one is asking you to have it all figured out but you can’t find out if you can do this if you don’t try. I don’t know how to be a mom, either, but I’m not running.”
She turns toward the stairs, leaving for her room, leaving the four of us to figure out our shit all on our own.Chapter 55CHLOEMason and Enzo are in my bed, the three of us fell deeply asleep after they made love to me after my nap. Mason’s cock filled my mouth, his come sliding down my throat, just the way I crave. Enzo’s cock filled my pussy, his thick shaft driving deep inside me, causing my cries of ecstasy to echo in the room. I knew Noah’s parents were here but after the day I had, I didn’t care who heard or what they thought. I only thought about myself.
Selfish, maybe. But I no longer have space to make sure everyone else is happy. Right now, in this moment, I am taking what is mine. I’ve never done that so fully in all my life.