Harlow looks at me with her pale pink hair tucked behind her ears. “Can I say something without you being ... offended? I mean I know we just met.”
“Just say it,” I say, wiping my eyes not caring what she thinks of me anymore, knowing I’ve never had a girlfriend before and there’s no point in pretending to be someone I’m not, just to impress her now. She can either take it or leave it.
“Choosing love is terrifying enough when you have your shit together, Chloe. But when you’ve been hurt, over and over again, it’s not just terrifying. It’s like inviting heartbreak to bed, knowing that you’ll wake up all alone. There is no way it will end well if that is what he’s clinging to.”
I snort, wiping my tears away. “Well thanks for the pep talk, Harlow, God.”
She shakes her head, her eyes sparkling. “No, Chloe. You’re missing the point.”
“And what’s that?”
“You can look past his fear and see his heart. Choose to believe in his best intentions, Chloe.”
“He chose to walk away.”
“To protect you from his own shortcomings. But what if his shortcomings were also his assets? What if he saw what you see when you look at him.”
I think about that for a moment, the way that I truly see Ethan. I imagine the way his dark eyes drew me in the night we met, how they refused to let me go. How he held me in his arms, holding my hurt in his hands. He’s not the same as Enzo, Mason, or Noah–– but that doesn’t mean he isn’t just as valuable.
Just as loved.
“If he saw himself as I see him, he would be a cocky ass,” I tell Harlow. “I think he is absolutely wonderful. More than wonderful, he’s unique and strong and raw. He doesn’t pretend, he doesn’t play games. And I love who he is so damn much.”
“Does he know that?”
I think back to my conversations with him over the last few weeks. I shed lots of tears, revealed lots of insecurity. There were many moments where I relied on him to piece me back together.
But what if right now, what he needs is a lover who can carry him? Hold him up. Stand by his side.
“I need to find him,” I tell Harlow.
She nods, then pulls me into a hug. “You can do this, Chloe. Fight for what you want.”
“Is that what you do?” I ask her. “Refuse to give up without a fight?”
She smiles softly before shaking her head. “Not exactly. But maybe I’ll get stronger, like you.”
I know life isn’t perfect for anyone, but I can see, even through a short, yet heartfelt conversation, that Harlow uses her outgoing personality to mask something deeper. Something she doesn’t want to be exposed.
She’s like every woman. Every girl... we just protect ourselves with different shells to hide what we are most scared of showing: our authentic selves.
But if I want my relationship with my men to be more than what it is right this moment, I have to fight for what I want. For the love I know I deserve.
“Thanks, Harlow, for listening.”
“It’s what friends are for.”
We stand, shaking the sand off our butts.
“I have to go find him,” I tell her. “But you should come to the competition here tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll have Ethan by my side.”
She nods. “I’ll be here. Everyone is talking about it.” I think she’s about to go, but she grabs my hand and squeezes it. “You’re gonna be a great mom, Chloe,” she tells me.
My throat goes dry. “Why do you think that?” I ask.
“Because you care. So damn much. Your baby is really lucky to have you. To have all of you.”
We part ways and I run back to the house, hoping I’m not too late.
Hoping she’s right. That love worth fighting for is mine for the taking.Chapter 54NOAH“You can’t fucking leave, just like that,” I shout, arms raised, blood boiling. Who the fuck does Ethan think he is?
“It’s not a choice,” Ethan yells, having just returned from his walk with Chloe where he fucked things up, royally. “It’s for the best.”
The four of us are in the kitchen, and thankfully Noah’s parents left a few minutes ago to run a few errands because this fight is just getting started.
“And what if you’re the father?” Enzo asks. “What will you do then?”
“I don’t fucking know,” Ethan screams. “I just know you guys will do a hell of a lot better loving Chloe than I ever will. I’m a fucking mess. I have no idea what a father is. How to be one. I’ll screw this whole thing up.”
“Oh, fuck you, Ethan,” Mason scoffs. “You don’t get the corner on pain, okay?”
“Right, because your life has been so fucking hard,” Ethan throws back.
Mason’s eyes narrow. “Remember the time I fought a fucking shark to stay alive? I’d say that was a mother fucking low point, Ethan.”