She stares at me as I stare at her, as if neither of us knows what to say. Because, really, what the hell do I say? I’m sorry I broke your heart years ago. I hope you’re happy and got everything you deserve in life…but at the same time, I really hope you’re single because if I can’t have you, no one else should…which is a dick thing to wish since that means you broke off your engagement?
Doesn’t really roll off the tongue.
“You look good,” I tell her, not caring that she knows I’m checking her out.
Her cheeks, which are already flushed from running in this heat, redden even more. “I’m all sweaty,” she says, trying to brush off the compliment.
“That adds to your appeal.” I flash her a grin.
“Don’t,” she says softly.
“Don’t what? Compliment you?”
She quickly shakes her head, swinging her blonde ponytail to the side. It sticks to her neck, and she reaches up to pull it off.
“I seem to remember you liked being complimented.”
She blows out a breath and hikes up one eyebrow. “Not as much as you did.”
“Touché,” I laugh. “And everyone likes to be complimented. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.”
“Well, of course people do. It’s human nature.” She purses her lips and shifts her gaze to Jackson, who’s riding his bike at full speed down the sidewalk, and I’m not entirely sure he’ll be able to stop before he hits Charlie.
She sidesteps at the last second, moving right up against me. “Oh, shoot,” she says, jumping back and Violet starts to fuss. “I didn’t mean to wake her up.”
“It’s okay. She needs to wake up anyway. This little stinker sleeps all day and is up all night,” I tell her, gently rocking Vi in my arms. Charlie’s jaw tenses as she watches me for a few seconds. Then she looks away and laughs.
“What’s so funny?” I ask her.
She waves her hand in the air. “It’s just…just…never mind.”
“Hi,” Jackson says, turning his bike around. “I’m Jackson.”
“What happened to not talking to strangers?” I ask him, narrowing my eyes.
“You’re talking to her,” Jackson quips.
“She could be some sort of psycho for all we know,” I tell him with a wink.
Charlie laughs. “I might be a little crazy. And I’m Charlie. Nice to meet you.”
“Charlie’s a boy name,” Jackson says, wrinkling his nose and making both Charlie and me laugh.
“My full name is Charlotte, but I’ve gone by Charlie since, well, since I can remember.” Jackson just nods and pedals forward. “He looks just like Wes.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy how much he looks like him now that he’s getting older.”
“So, you’re babysitting?” Charlie plays with her wireless headphones, twisting them around her fingers.
“I am. Scarlet—Wes’s wife and Violet’s mother—is pretty exhausted. She’s napping.”
“That’s…that’s really nice of you.”
“You sound surprised.” I watch Jackson ride his bike to the corner and turn around. He’s allowed to go up and down the street as long as I’m out here watching him. We have plans later to put Vi in her stroller and go to the park a few blocks down from the house.
“It’s just…just…I’m not.”
Fuck, I shouldn’t love it when she gets flustered like this. It doesn’t happen very often, making me think seeing me again is doing bad things to her just like it is to me.
Or at least I hope.
Because I’ve spent the last few years telling myself I’m fine, that living it up and being single is what I want out of life. That I’m over her.
And seeing her now…fuck.
“You look good,” she says and then almost looks surprised by her confession.
“I work out.” I give her a wink and she laughs, shaking her head.
“And you haven’t changed much.”
My cocky smile disappears from my face. I have changed. I’ve grown up a lot, though to be fair, I still have some growing up left to do.
But I’m not the same man who told her I wasn’t ready to settle down. And I’ve grown enough since then to realize how much of a mistake I made.
“Why change what’s perfect?” I raise my eyebrows and she rolls her eyes, trying hard not to laugh. “What about you? Has the big city changed you?”
And now it’s her turn to be somber. “Yes. It has.”
“In a good way?”
She looks out at the street, watching a car roll through the stop sign. “I’m not sure yet.”
“I heard you’re getting married.” I don’t mean to blurt it out, but dammit, I need to know. I swallow hard and push my heart back down into my chest. I watch her face, looking for the words she won’t say out loud.
But she gives nothing away, sign of a good lawyer, I suppose.
“Not anymore.”
“Sorry.”
“Thanks.” She shrugs and turns her head down. A sharp ache hits me square in the chest. As much as I want Charlie to be mine and only mine, seeing her dejected like this is killing me. I’d rather have all the heartache, all the pain and regret in the world, than have her feel even the slightest bit of it.