“We’re going for a walk,” I start. “You could join if you want. Unless you need to finish your run. Then, by all means, go ahead so I can watch you leave.”
She shakes her head again. “I’m walking that way anyway,” she confesses. “I can walk with you. It’s only two blocks down and I need to get my heart rate back down.”
“Then maybe being close to me is a bad idea.”
“You are just as I remember.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
I take a few steps back, looking back at Jackson to make sure he’s slowing before he gets to the other street corner. Once he turns his bike around, I hurry up the porch steps to get Violet’s stroller, grabbing it with one hand.
“It’s not good or bad,” Charlie answers, staying in the same spot. I get Violet situated, pull the visor up to keep her shaded, and then double-check the diaper bag, making sure I have extra diapers, wipes, and her bottle.
“You really got this uncle thing down,” Charlie comments as we start down the street.
“I’m the favorite. Don’t tell Logan, Dean, or Archer.”
Charlie smiles and we silently go down the block, walking fast to keep up with Jackson.
“I haven’t been here in years,” Charlie muses to herself when we roll up to the park. Jackson ditches his bike and sprints ahead, seeing some of his friends from school. I keep walking, finding a spot in the shade to sit and give Violet her bottle.
Charlie watches us for a moment before sitting next to me. She smiles at Violet, baby-talking a hello to try and get her to smile.
“How old is she?”
“Two and a half months,” I answer without having to think. “Quinn and Archer’s little one is only a few weeks older.”
“Aww, that’ll be nice to have a cousin close in age.”
I nod. “Quinn and Scarlet have become really close too. They’re both obsessed with their damn cats,” I laugh.
“What’s wrong with cats?” Charlie hikes up both eyebrows.
“Not you too. At least Logan and Danielle have a dog in addition to their cats.”
“I have a feeling I’m missing something.”
“It’s a bit of a running joke between us that started with Quinn being a crazy cat lady, who then turned Scarlet into one.”
“And Scarlet is Weston’s new wife?”
“Yeah.”
“I still can’t get over finding out Quinn and Archer got married. I never would have seen that coming. Well, aside from her having a massive crush on him when she was a teenager.”
“She didn’t have a crush on Archer.”
Charlie lets out a snort of laughter. “Oh, she did big time. How did you not see it?”
I make a face and readjust Violet in my arms, sitting her up a bit so she can have her bottle. “He was so much older than her.”
“He still is older than her.”
“Yeah, but it’s different now.”
Charlie laughs and shakes her head. “All four of you were purposely oblivious to Quinn’s love life back then, you know. But pretending it didn’t exist didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen.”
I laugh too. “I still like to pretend it doesn’t exist. Because Archer’s like a brother and she’s my sister and it’s a little weird.”
“I think it’s sweet. Oh, and I read an article a few years ago online about Quinn selling that app she developed. That’s unbelievable.”
“She’s always been smart.”
“She has. The last time I saw her, she was coming back for a long weekend from MIT.” It’s weird having Charlie here like this. She’s been gone for so long, yet she fits in like she just left yesterday.
Jackson runs back over, taking his bike helmet off and dropping it on the ground before taking off again. I grab a burp cloth and the bottle and start feeding Violet. She gets through not even half before she starts to fall asleep.
“It’s really nice that you’re babysitting,” Charlie says again, smiling as she looks at the sleeping baby in my arms.
“I like it,” I tell her honestly. “Mostly because I get to give the kids back at the end of the day.”
Charlie laughs. “That is a perk. You were always good with kids, though. Probably because you’re just a big kid yourself.”
As much as I like sitting here talking and joking like nothing has changed, it’s starting to mess with my head. Because I know what I’ll be thinking about for the rest of the day.
And the night.
And tomorrow.
But worse, I know how I’ll be feeling. It’s all sunshine and fucking rainbows right now, but once the lights go out and it’s just my thoughts in the dark, the regret will start to creep up on me. It always starts in the pit of my stomach, forming a hard knot that I have to drown in whiskey or tequila.
Yet that fucker is able to float and will rise to the surface and remind me of everything I did wrong in our relationship. How what I thought I wanted then turned out to be the very thing I feared most in life.