How was that a solid foundation to build a relationship on?
Madonn’.
And then…and then, I didn’t know his address! I didn’t know where he lived! We’d had to spend a solid hour going through Gideon’s Instagram for clues. He’d started the account in an attempt to get more information on me, yet he’d already posted 176 pictures of Chester. Three of them thankfully with a view of Central Park. In short, we’d managed to narrow down Gideon’s address to two buildings, and he’d told me the night we went to that place with the delicious fries that he lived two streets away, so we were starting with that.
While my brother had gotten stuck on Gideon actually having a view of Central Park in his Upper East Side condo, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was ready to sign my life away to a man whose home I’d never visited.
And I fucking was. I was ready to spend the rest of my days with him. I loved him so much that it hurt.
I missed him, and I’d seen him last night. It was bonkers.
“Sometime today!” Anthony honked at the Civic ahead of us that was missing that the light had turned green, and when that didn’t work, my brother rolled down the window and yelled. “Are you driving today, sunshine?” He honked some more. “Oi! Get off the fucking road!”
The asshole in front of us gestured for us to go around, so I guessed he was just gonna sit there on the corner and watch the day go by.
Anthony muttered a string of curses and drove around the fucker.
“I’m surprised you didn’t flip him off too,” I said in amusement.
“I’m not from Jersey. There are limits.”
I let out a laugh, though it was short-lived. We were almost at the park.
“Let’s see.” He leaned forward and squinted at the street signs. “We should come up here…” He turned left, and I saw the trees straight ahead. Park Avenue was right up there, and if our guess was correct, the building to my right was Gideon’s. “You got this, little brother.”
I swallowed hard as he slowed down. There was no place to park.
I opened the door and stepped out into the cold Sunday morning.
He gave me a reassuring smile. “No matter what, we’ve got your back. I’ll stay close until you call or text.”
I nodded. “Grazie.” After closing the door, I took a deep breath and snuck between two parked cars and stepped onto the sidewalk. There was no strategy; I would just ask the doorman, or if there was a lobby, or…fuck if I knew. I’d been with clients in the past where it was like checking in to a hotel, and I’d been with clients where you went straight up.
As I rounded the building, I saw there was a doorman, at least.
At the sound of a dog barking, I threw a glance across the avenue, and I came to an abrupt stop. Maybe my heart thudded to a halt for a beat too. Gideon was coming out of the park with a floppy little fur ball, and he picked up Chester once they reached the crosswalk.
November was putting a rosy tint in Gideon’s cheeks. His hair was windblown, and he’d replaced his suit and coat with jeans and a shorter parka.
It was amazing to see him like this, carefree and smiling at his dog, but it also felt like I was intruding. Like this wasn’t our time to see each other. This was his domain, at a time of day that had never belonged to us.
Gideon crossed the street with Chester in his arms, and I forced my legs to carry me forward.
I cleared my throat.
My pulse skyrocketed.
“Gideon,” I managed to get out.
He whipped his head my way and could not look more surprised.
Fuck, I knew he didn’t like surprises.
I had to make this quick without imposing. Maybe he had plans. He definitely had his routines.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I asked, approaching him carefully.
He furrowed his brow and set down Chester. “I apologize. I didn’t expect…”
“I know you didn’t.” I gestured for us to stand closer to the building. The sidewalks up here didn’t get very crowded, but he wasn’t the only one out with his dog this morning. “I just had to talk to you. Sorry about the ambush.”
He fidgeted with the end of the leash. “Is something wrong?”
You tell me.
I leaned my shoulder against the wall and cracked my knuckles absently. “I wouldn’t say wrong… I just wanna get something off my chest before our time runs out.” Jesus Christ, my nerves were shot. No time like the present, right? Here goes everything. “Pick me, Gideon.”
His gaze snapped up and met mine, and I swallowed against the onslaught of emotions that resurfaced without warning.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Choose me. Not her,” I said. “I don’t think we can fit into each other’s worlds, but I think we can create something that’s just ours. And…maybe I can’t promise you a life of perfect stability—I know I can’t—but I promise to always pay attention to what you need. I promise to be there.” I had to swallow again, not to mention blink past the sting in my eyes. “That house and those family traditions could be ours—with kids we adopt or whatever. Or surrogacy? I don’t know. All I know is that I want a future with you. I want us to be real. And I want there to be a seat for you at the table when we have Sunday dinners at Nonna’s. Hell, Pop already invited you.”