“Boring without you, but busy with end-of-the-season shit.”
“I can’t believe the season is over.”
“Yeah. It’s always a stressful time.” I paused. “Hey…so I told Oak everything tonight. About Elliott, too. I thought you should know.”
There was some silence before she responded, “Oh. Okay.”
She sounded weird about that.
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah, of course. Just took me a second to process it. I trust Oak. He’s a good guy, and you needed to talk to someone. What did he say?”
“He gave me some good advice. Some stuff to think about. He really likes you, Gia.”
“I really like him, too. I’m gonna miss him.”
I hated the reminders that she was leaving.
“I almost smoked tonight,” I said. “Really close to falling off the wagon but caught myself.”
“I’m so proud of you for keeping that up. I know it can’t be easy with everything that’s been going on with us. But it makes me feel good to know you’re not filling your lungs with that crap anymore. I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you.”
Grabbing a stuffed elephant off the nearby dresser, I clutched it to my chest. “This whole thing with us, Gia…it isn’t a decision you make overnight. I wish it were simple. I wish I could sit here and say with one hundred-percent certainty that I knew I could handle it. All I know for sure is that I love you and care about this baby enough to really think about whether I can be the kind of father he deserves under the circumstances. I will not look at him with resentment the way my father looked at me. I can’t do that to him. I won’t. I love him too much, if that makes sense.”
“I know. I get it. And I totally understand your need to think this through. It’s why I’m leaving to give you space. It’s the best thing right now. Plus, my dad has been really supportive, and I think I just need to be closer to him right now.”
It hurt me that she felt she needed him more than me…but then I had to remind myself that I was basically pushing her away in a sense. My lack of answer was speaking volumes, even if I wasn’t saying anything. What the fuck did I expect?
“I’m so sleepy, Rush. This baby is really kicking my ass.”
“Why don’t I let you go to bed?”
“I don’t want you to go,” she insisted. “Please…don’t go.”
Those words. Their meaning extended beyond tonight, and I knew it.
“You want me to stay on the phone with you?” I asked.
“Yes. I just want to hear you breathing while I fall asleep. Is that okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.”
Resting my phone against my cheek, I laid back farther into the chair and closed my eyes, never imagining that Gia and I would be sleeping together this week.
But that was exactly what we did.It had become a game of sorts.
Make Rush Look.
It started out innocently enough. Earlier in the evening, I’d caught him watching me while I sat at my station inserting the daily specials into the plastic menu casings.
I smiled and waved. He lifted his chin giving me the casual Rush what’s up and quickly looked away. The next few times I caught him, he diverted his eyes pretending that he hadn’t been staring. And so my game began. A little extra wiggle in my walk. Licking my lips while I innocently looked down. Since I’d enjoyed myself so much for the first half of my shift, I decided to play the advanced version of Make Rush Look for the second half:
Make Rush Hard.
This wasn’t a game for novices. A certain level of skill was required. And it was definitely for ages eighteen and over. Rush had disappeared to his office a little while ago, and I’d grown impatient for my turn. So I decided I should grab the extra salt from the storage room across from his office. None of the shakers were near empty, but I was a damn diligent employee. As luck had it, Rush’s door was wide open, and the oversized container of salt was all the way down on the bottom shelf.
Like everything else I owned, the skirt I wore tonight was pretty damn tight. I held my breath and hoped that the fabric didn’t split in two when I bent over without bending at the knees. I wanted to shove my big ass in his face, not ruin one of the few things that still fit me.
Even though the salt was right in the front, I spent a good thirty seconds moving things around on the bottom shelf while wiggling my ass. I was so damn obvious; I practically cracked up while I did it. All the blood had rushed to my head, so when I stood up I was a little lightheaded. I couldn’t hide the smirk on my face as I wondered if all the blood had rushed to Rush’s head, too—his southern head, that is.