His Frozen Heart

Ah, it was dinner that had been burnt.

I frowned. I knew I hadn’t missed a dinner date.

I went upstairs taking the stairs two at a time. I went straight to the children’s room. They were both asleep. I kissed their soft faces. I knew I was missing out on too much. I could see just by how much space they were taking up in their little beds that they were growing fast. I loosened my tie and decided then that it was time to make some changes to my life. I didn’t want to completely miss out on their childhood. I went to our bedroom and Christine was sitting by the fireplace. She’d been drinking, her eyes were glazed.

“Well, well,” she slurred. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

“I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom,” I said, turning away.

“That’s right, run away. Little coward,” she taunted.

I whirled around. “Why do you drink if you can’t handle it?”

“Why do you drink if you can’t handle it?” she mimicked. “I drink because I’m unhappy, Cade. Because I’m so damn unhappy.”

I felt nothing. “Do you want a divorce?”

“Divorce,” she shrieked. “That’s your fucking answer to everything, isn’t it?”

“Well, if you’re so unhappy with me and this arrangement doesn’t suit you, I would have thought the best solution would be to get divorced. I’m not exactly jumping for joy at our situation,” I said reasonably.

She flew out of her chair. “You’re not jumping for joy. Could have fooled me. I was under the impression that things were exactly how you wanted them, you godless, heartless man. You’ve got your position, your work, your money, a wife who is begging for a little love from you, two beautiful children. What more could you ask for?”

I shrugged. “Peace of mind when I get back from work?”

It was as if I had detonated her nuclear button. She went insane. She ran at me screeching like a witch, her face contorted, her fingers extended and ready to rake her nails down my face. I caught her and held her easily. “Calm down, Christine. Calm the fuck down.”

As soon as she stopped kicking and screaming and became still, I let go of her. She stepped back and looked into my eyes. Hers were filled with hatred.

“I’ll ask Stephen to start to draw up the divorce papers tomorrow.”

“It’s so easy for you, isn’t it?”

“I don’t understand you. You hate me. You’re unhappy and yet you don’t seem to want a way out. What do you want?”

“I want you to love me,” she cried.

I looked at her in astonishment. Did she not know? You can’t make yourself love someone. You either feel it or you don’t, and I don’t. I never have. “I’m sorry, but I don’t love you, Christine.”

She shook her head. “What a fool I’ve been. Throwing my love at you. Well, enough is enough. Go on. Go and sleep in the guest bedroom. Have a good sleep.”

I stood there for another moment and then I turned around and walked towards the guest bedroom. Really, I slept so much there most of my clothes were there anyway. It was nearly one in the morning, but I still had some work I needed to finish so I lay on the bed, propped up on pillows and fired up my laptop. In no time I was so completely engrossed with the figures on my screen I almost didn’t hear the engine of a car start up. But in the silence of the night, it jarred on the edges of my consciousness. I left my laptop on the bed and went to the window. I was just in time to see my wife driving away. Instantly I knew what she had done. I ran to my children’s bedroom.

She had taken both of them.

I phoned her.

When she picked up the call she was crying so hard she was sobbing.

“Christine, come back. Let’s talk about this,” I said as calmly as I could, even though my heart was pounding with fear. In the background I could hear my son start crying.

“Shut up,” she screamed at him.

“Christine. Look, just come back. You’ve been drinking. You shouldn’t be driving.”

“Come back for what?”

“Just come back. I’ll change. I’ll be different.”

“You’re a liar, Cade Mortenson. A big, fat, liar.”

“Please—”

The rest of her words were cut off by a blood-curdling scream and the sound of a crash. For a few seconds I couldn’t even move. I couldn’t believe it. The phone never cut off. I heard the whole thing. I couldn’t let go of the phone even though the sounds I heard were horrific. They will never ever leave me. I can’t ever get those sounds out of my head. I screamed her name and I heard a raspy breath. Then she said. “I hope you’re happy now.”

Adrenaline pumping through my veins, I called the police while I ran down the stairs. I jumped into my car and sped down the road. I didn’t get too far. I slammed on the brakes and every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire.

Her car had collided with a ten-ton truck. It was so crushed it was unrecognizable. I didn’t run. I walked towards the smoking wreck in a daze. I already knew no one could have survived it.

What I saw I would never forget for as long as I lived.

Katrina

He cleared his throat and tried to get hold of himself while I tried to keep my face from showing my horror. I don’t think I was successful. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he had gone through must have been like. I would rather dance for a million men than go through that.

“I was careless,” he whispered. “She was right. I was a heartless monster. I cared only for myself. I should have seen that she was at breaking point. I never should have let her go. If only I had cared enough in that one moment everything would be different right now. My girl could sleep through anything, but I could hear my boy crying in the background. I blame myself for their passing. It is my responsibility to own and rightly so.”

“No, it’s not your fault,” I cried passionately. “You were not the one who got into a car while you were drunk. You didn’t crash it.”

He turned to look at me with tortured eyes. “Yes, it is my fault. She was going to her mother’s. Another three miles and she would have made it. If only I hadn’t called her she may have made it.”

“We’ll never know, but I know this much. Terrible, terrible accidents happen every day. Things that crush our souls, things that we have no control over. This is just one of those things.”

He ran his hands through his hair distractedly. “Talking about it has brought it all back, Katrina. I don’t think a day will come when I will be able to feel less guilty. I don’t know if I can live here with people. It was better when I was up on the mountain.”

“Why did you come down from the mountain then?”

“Because I had to find you. Without you the mountain was impossible.”

I smiled. “Then I will come up to the mountain and be with you. How about we live on the mountain and attempt to negotiate society bit by bit, huh?”

He nodded. That blanket of sadness around him would not shift. Maybe it would never shift, but I knew I could bring him happiness. One day we would have kids of our own. One day, I would bring him back to civilization.

One day, I would make it all right again.

I walked up to him and lay my cheek against his chest. “I don’t know much about you, and I hardly know your history, but I know I love you, Cade,” I whispered. “You are not someone I met a few days ago. You are my soulmate. I’ve always known you.”

He circled me with his arms. “I don’t know if what I feel is love, my heart has been frozen for so long, but this thing is so strong, I’m willing to climb mountains, cross seas, and die for it.”

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “If that is not love, I don’t know what is.”

“In that case, I love you, Katrina.” He stopped and scratched his chin. “Shit, I don’t even know your last name.”

I grinned. “It’s Katrina Black.”

He smiled softly. “It doesn’t matter I guess. It won’t be Katrina Black for much longer.”

My heart felt as i

f it wanted to burst out of my chest. “We’ll take it step by step, okay. One day at a time. We have all the time in the world.”

He touched my lower lip. “You know, sometimes I thought of you as an angel. The way you appeared out of nowhere and brought such joy and light into my world.”

“Actually, my stage name is Angel. I come out in a little white costume complete with wings.”

He smiled. “Suits you. Sometimes looking down at you sleeping below I felt like Silas Marner looking at the golden hair of the child he found and thinking he had found his lost gold coins again. You are my lost gold. It’s your challenge if you choose to accept it.”

“What’s that?” I asked curiously.