Lock Step - Love Under Lockdown

“Oh, my God! Right? Thanksgiving and Christmas. ‘This is my boyfriend- slash- stepbrother, everyone!’”

“Yeah, I guess you really wouldn’t want to do that! Hahahaha.”

“Ryan, it’s so great to talk to you. Well, text to you anyway.”

“Hey, it’s not like we have anything else to do, right? I mean, locked up because of the virus.”

“When is this going to end? They have to find a cure, right?”

“I read online that it takes sixteen years to develop a vaccine correctly.”

“What?! Are you kidding? They were saying 18 months.”

“Well, I guess you could take that vaccine, but I wouldn’t. I mean, not that I’m an anti-vaxxer in general or anything. But you have to do your own research. And you have to get a good vaccine. It could make you worse if you get the wrong one.”

“Are you saying we’ll be in lockdown for years?”

“Oh, no,” he assured. “No one is saying that. I’m just saying that a vaccine is probably not the answer. Eventually, herd immunity will immunize everyone. That’s what happened after the 1918 flu, anyway, back before they had the technology to develop vaccines.”

I hoped he was right.

At this point I just wanted there to be some light at the end of the tunnel.Chapter Sixteen - TracianneThe time dragged by. I didn’t see Phil for two days. Two days!

It felt like everyone was avoiding me. Things kind of broke down, I guess. We all got so bored living in the house non-stop.

I was never good at being alone. When I was little, being an only child, I’d sometimes cry if it rained. Because that meant none that of my friends could come over and I couldn’t go over to their houses, since I walked there. Dad would sometimes reluctantly drive me and then it would be better, but not always.

And at night, at home alone, I’d get really scared. I mean, I knew my parents were somewhere in the house, but I’d still be scared.

It felt so maddening to be alone. It was like I was going crazy because I had no one to talk to. I guess that must be how prisoners felt in isolation, and why it was the maximum punishment.

At one point, I thought I spotted Phil. He was rushing out of the kitchen. I jogged after him, but by the time I realized it he was upstairs, his door shut and locked. I burst into tears. It wasn’t fair!

Despite all my talks with Ryan, I still thought about Phil. I knew that sounded awful. I shouldn’t have been so hung up on my stepbrother when he was clearly over me after our regretful hook up. But I couldn’t take this loneliness.

For a few hours, I tried listening to music, but I had to stop. Happy music just made me more annoyed and sad music, although appropriate for the times, just made me cry.

I tried watching some shows on Netflix, but I couldn’t get into any of them. I found myself sitting on the couch, unable to get comfortable.

Then I started looking at the couch and imagining my face squished into the cushions as Phil fucked me with his big, hard cock again.

No! I had to stop doing this to myself. It was torture.

Obviously, Phil didn’t want anything to do with me and Ryan was too far away. Maybe I just needed to hang on long enough, then I could fly to Alaska and surprise him.

Part of me was afraid. I hadn’t seen Ryan’s face.

What if I wasn’t attracted to him?

I mean, part of me felt shallow for thinking that, but everyone has a limit, right?

What if he had physical characteristics that I found undesirable?

What if that was how he had so much time to text me, because no other girl wanted to date him?

And what if the girl had given him a fake number because she wasn’t interested in him?

It was terrible, I knew, but attraction did mean something in a relationship, right?

Just because we had chemistry over the phone, didn’t mean we’d have chemistry in real life. At least I could talk to Diamond and Gillian about Ryan. They thought I had made him up. The good part about Ryan was that I didn’t have to tell them he was my stepbrother!

Typically, Diamond said that I had to see what he looked like. Gillian thought the whole thing sounded romantic. It was like a movie where the hero was revealed at the end. That would be nice. I could take a flight up to Alaska and Ryan could meet me at the airport and I could see him in the flesh for the first time.

It was cold, so I’d have to wear a parka or whatever. I actually scouted out a few online. Some of them get pretty pricey, if you wanted something that was warm and not too bulky, yet fashionable, that was how much you’d have to pay.