“I don’t have any clothes, and while this nightgown could hold three of me, I don’t think I’ll go out in public in it. Or any of your clothes, either.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll sort something out for you, and I’ll hunt Keith and his brothers down to get your stuff. There’s food in the fridge and I’ll be back at lunchtime, okay?”
I got out of bed and hugged her. “Thank you. You’ve saved me. You really have.”
“You don’t need to thank me; you’d do the same for me. Just rest, regroup and get your head straight if you can. I’ll be back soon.”
She hugged me back and then she left me there, alone. I knew she had to go to class. I needed to as well, but I had no clothes. And I’d been humiliated enough for one lifetime already.
I glanced at my phone and bit down on my lip to keep the tears at bay. I would not turn it on. I knew it would be full of texts and missed calls. But I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want this to be real.
Right now, I was in a bubble where reality was outside, and here in Becky’s home, the outside didn’t exist. Turning on that phone would bring the outside in to me which I dearly didn’t want to do. In here, I didn’t have to cry. I didn’t have to remember the faces that laughed at me, in real life, not the nightmare. Because they’d all laughed as I ran away. They’d all joined Rachel in her triumphant cacophony of laughter.
She’d finally bested me, and it was all because Keith had wanted me and not her. She’d humiliated herself with that admission, but that wouldn’t matter to the world. She’d broken me. She’d torn away the only comfort I had and she’d won. But here, I didn’t have to think about that.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Celia
I turned my phone on two days later. As I expected it buzzed so long with notifications that it nearly drained the battery. I swiped to clear all the notifications and then started to delete my accounts on my social media. I’d make new ones later, for now, I took the apps off my phone and enjoyed the silence.
Becky had been true to her word and went over to get my stuff. They brought it over in Becky’s car and the car owned by the Bentley brothers. They put it all in the elevator, sent it up, and then left me in peace. They knew to leave me alone now, at least. Becky had told them I didn’t want anyth
ing to do with them ever again and had added a bit. She told them that what they’d done had humiliated me, which might have been worse than the deception they’d been pulled.
She’d told me about the conversation when she came up with the last load of my belongings. That load had increased in my short time with the boys. I’d gone from a few possessions to boxes full of it. I had new clothes they’d bought me, new bedding and a lot more. I didn’t want to look at it all, I just wanted my clothes, books, and my computer.
When I turned my computer on, my email notifications were full too. Only, most of those were about my classes, or from other students that wanted to laugh at me. Some called me vile names, and I soon deleted everything in my inbox and closed the browser. I had homework to do, and this wouldn’t help.
I was on the verge of losing my job, my life was in tatters, and now I could barely show my face in public. At least it was winter, I could hide in bulky clothes and scarves, with hats to hide my recognizable hair. I wanted to crawl back home, but I knew I had to face up to this monumental mistake I had made and get on with my life.
That’s what I told myself during the day. At night, I ached for Keith’s touch, for the way he made me feel so safe. But he wasn’t a ‘he’, he was a ‘them.’ I realized now that I’d known all along. My body knew each one’s touch was different. My body could recognize which one I was with, even if my brain didn’t want to believe it. I still didn’t know which one was which, although Becky had explained to me the difference in their personalities. Colin was the serious one, Grant the romantic and Keith, the consummate player, definitely able to give a girl a good time.
I thought I knew which was which by the third day and had worked out that I’d been in love with each for different reasons. Sure, they were all different men, and I had them at different times, but together, they really had made the perfect man.
In my less lucid moments, I’d think about what life would be like with them, how would we go on? I’d wonder if they drew straws to see which one had me for the day, or if they had a chart. How would that work in the future, if I’d agreed to the relationship?
At other times, I tried to focus on my job and school. A week passed and then two. The hate mail and nasty texts began to slow down and then disappeared. I developed some kind of stomach flu that wouldn’t go away by the third week and became more than a little depressed.
Becky did her best, and she gave me a lot of support, but even she couldn’t help me in this situation. Thanksgiving break began, and Becky surprised me. She’d bought me tickets to go back home for the holiday.
“I’m going to be with my family. You should go to, Celia. I can’t stand the thought of you being here alone.” She’d hugged me tightly, then run off to catch her flight.
I’d stared at the tickets, unable to believe it, and then I’d called my uncle. We wanted to surprise Mom, so he didn’t tell anyone he was coming to pick me up. I met him at the airport, where we hugged and he called me ‘munchkin’ the way he always had, and then I nearly threw up on him.
The nausea passed and he took me to the car, concerned that I was sick. I told him I thought it was my gall bladder or something. It happened when I ate spicy food or oily stuff and I’d had a load of onion rings at the airport in New York.