My mother was lovely in every way, but my father brought an ugliness in her. She’s the kind of woman who would never speak ill of anyone, but when she hears about my dad and one of his new girls, she gets this sour expression on her face. She was hesitant to start seeing men again because she didn’t want to be hurt that way ever again. She’s a woman with lots of love to give, but she held off in fear of being ruined again. I loved my dad, but I found it hard to forgive him for that. While I didn’t really give a shit about the other women, I had gotten to know Olivia, and didn’t want the same fate for her.
“If that’s what love is, I don’t think I want it. If you loved Miranda, why would you fuck some random broad?”
My dad gulped. “I don’t know. It’s an addiction, isn’t it?”
“You tell me.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I think us Rye boys have an appetite that can’t be suppressed.”
“And that’s why I don’t go making promises to women,” I sighed. “I’ve learned from your mistakes.”
“Ah, and that’s just one of the ways I’ve ruined you,” he said wistfully. “You used to be such a loving kid. You used to snuggle with your mother every night when you were little. You were so open to being best friends with everyone you met. Then, when you got older, you started closing yourself off to people.”
“Is that so?” I asked in disbelief. “I think I have plenty of friends.”
“But what about girlfriends?”
“I’ve had a handful.”
“But you never told them you loved them.”
“Because I didn’t.”
I could see where my dad was going with this. My girlfriends were like long-term friends with benefits, but without really being friends. There was lots of passion, but little substance. Often times, they were waiting around for me to take things to the next level. They wanted to meet my parents or move in. That was about the time I cut them loose. The moment they realized that I wasn’t capable of giving them what they wanted, they were gone. Even beautiful models have dreams of starting a family one day. Even socialites want love.
“Has anyone ever come close?” he asked.
I thought for a moment. Perhaps it was because she was so fresh on my mind, but I immediately thought of Olivia. Of course, I wasn’t in love with her. I hadn’t known her for very long. But, if there were anyone I was hesitant to let walk away from my life, it would be her. I think the fact that I wanted to speak to her about the internship debacle said enough for me. I could admit to myself that I had feelings for her. I wasn’t sure if I could admit it to her, though.
“Maybe. Why?”
“If there’s any chance you could be in love, you can’t just let it pass. I’m not saying you should get married right away, but damn it, you should allow yourself to be happy.”
“I don’t think you should be giving me relationship advice, old man,” I said as I was given a refill.
“No, you’re probably right,” he chuckled. “I’ve made another mess and I don’t know how I’m going to clean it up. Maybe the answer is rehab or couple’s therapy. For now, I need to sleep this off and wait for Miranda to call me.”
He stood up from the table, shaky on his feet. I didn’t know how many he had to drink before I showed up, but he had three or four drinks in my presence.
“Do you need help up to your room?” I asked, smelling the booze on his breath from feet away.
“No, no, I’m fine.”
“Can you sleep it off on your own, or will someone find you on top of a strange woman again?”
“I have no interest in that at the moment. I only want to sleep. Thanks for the talk, son. You’re a wiser man than me.”
He stumbled toward the elevator and went up to the room he rented after Miranda walked out. I went to the front desk and asked for room service to deliver a meal and aspirin in a few hours.
Then, I returned to the bar and continued to drink. I hoped that Olivia would turn up soon. My liver couldn’t handle much more of a wait.
Suddenly, I had a burst of inspiration. If my dad thought I should go after the woman I cared about, then I was going to do that. I knew she didn’t want to see me, but if I didn’t get the chance to say my piece, then I would never rest. I decided I would take a cab to her apartment and tell her how I felt about her.
I dropped some cash at the bar and marched toward the door. In the process, I smacked straight into Olivia.
“Hey,” I said, full of wonder at the coincidence.
“You,” she growled. She marched back in the bar, gave her drink order and sat down at a table. I scurried beside her and sat down, eager to tell her everything.
“I know you’re mad at me, but I have to—”
“Fuck you!” she interrupted. “Fuck you and fuck your father. My mother just called me, absolutely devastated because your dad cheated on her.”
“I know,” I groaned. “I already spoke with him. I’m absolutely mortified by his behavior.”
“If we put that disaster aside for a moment, you’ll see you’re not better than him. You cheated on me, in one way or another. You promised something very important to me. You told me I was the best and the only person for the job. You made me think I was special. Then, you went and gave it away to some guy who didn’t deserve it like I did. You used me. You let me pretend to be your girlfriend and you brought me back to your place.”
“I was blackmailed!” I exclaimed, jumping in to speak when it had the chance. “That rat bastard Kevin had a whole stack of pictures of us together. If I didn’t give him the job, then he was going to take them to the administration and try to get me fired! It would have ruined any good reputation I had at the hospital. Your reputation would have been at stake, too. I might have survived, you would not have. Not at CUIMC. I didn’t have a choice and there was no time to explain. I can get you something just as good. You only need to ask. I just couldn’t give you that particular internship, not while there were pictures of us in each other’s arms floating around.”
She blinked at me, her eyes blazing. Her lips were tightly pursed as she listened.
“I’m very sorry things turned out this way. I’m willing to make it up to you.”
She looked down at the table, unable to meet my eye. I wasn’t sure, but it looked like she had been crying.
“Is that true?” she
asked softly.
“Entirely,” I said desperately.
“Why are you doing this for me? Is it out of pity? Haven’t you done enough?”
I shook my head. “It’s not pity at all,” I said earnestly. “I—I think—” I trailed off. I couldn’t complete the sentence. It was so simple to say, yet impossible for me to spit out.
“You what?” she asked, uninterested.
“Never mind,” I said, feeling frustrated. “Can we have dinner and talk this over? If I don’t eat eventually, I’m not going to make it much longer.”
She nodded.
I counted that as a victory. I paid for our drinks and led her onto the street and into a cab.
Chapter 25
Olivia
I twirled pasta around my fork, thankful to be in the back of a dimly-lit restaurant as Damon told me about his chat with Kevin. Though he thought the situation had been handled, I was still nervous. If there were pictures of me canoodling with him, I didn’t want to be exposed and reprimanded.
“How bad were they?” I asked.
Damon shook his head. “Not really bad. It clearly looks like we were very friendly. There’s one that I’m pretty confident is you blowing me in the conference room, but no one else would be able to figure that out. I only know because I remember it well.”
“That’s mortifying.”
“It’s not a big deal. If I have to go to extremes to make sure your reputation isn’t harmed, then I will. Besides, you’re only my intern for one more session.”
“What are you going to do with Kevin?”
“I don’t know,” he said casually. “Should I kill him?”
My mouth opened in shock.
“Relax, I’m kidding. Though, sometimes I wish I weren’t. He technically has the internship and I don’t see him giving it up, just because he’s not on good terms with me. I’ll probably just try to make his life hell. I’ll just give him the worst imaginable tasks. Or, I’ll just pawn him off on Dr. Wilhouse. There’s no way in hell I’m giving him any useful advice or direction. I hope to see him as little as possible.”