Big Man For Christmas

“Back in the day we used to take the cows to another farm for the fireworks. Trailer them all out there so they wouldn’t panic and hurt themselves in a stampede or anything. But that farm is gone now. Owner moved away. So…I had to think of something else. This is what I came up with.”

“Is it just “1812 Overture” or do they like other Tchaikovsky hits?”

I laugh again. “I do mix it up sometimes. But they get music played at their feeding starting a couple months before the fireworks, and then I bump up the volume every time, so they get used to it. Then when the fireworks start, I just blast the music and they couldn’t give two shits about them.”

Awe and amazement come onto her face. “That’s actually brilliant. It doesn’t hurt their ears?”

Pushing aside the warm glow that her compliment makes me feel, I shake my head. “Checked with the vet, brought her out and showed her the whole process. She said it’s fine. But frankly, I’m not sure how you even tell a hearing cow from a deaf one. They don’t listen most of the time anyway.”

Carley throws her head back and laughs. The kind of laugh I haven’t heard in a long time. Light and open and completely free of any pretenses. The sound feels like it draws straight through my body and into my cock; I get hard so fast. She sounds exactly like I remember, and all of that longing and need slams into me with the force of a train.

All this time I tried to push Carley out of my head, but my body still thought she was the one that got away. I haven’t seen her in nearly a decade, so she looks different. Older, of course, but she is even more beautiful than the last time. Her hair is wild and pulled into a messy ponytail, and I have the urge to sink my hands into it and pull her close.

Given the clothes she’s wearing, I can’t tell, but the shadow of curves tells me she’s still delicious. There was a time when I would spend my nights thinking about Carley’s curves. And if what I think I saw under those coveralls is anything close to the truth, I would have a hard time stopping myself now.

But I don’t fantasize about married women. No matter how much I want to.

When she stops laughing her cheeks are pink with it, eyes tearing. I’m not sure why it’s so funny, but I don’t mind. I will happily listen to her laugh for hours.

“I heard you were back in town,” I say.

Carley raises an eyebrow. “Oh, you did, did you?”

“Yup.” I make the p in the word pop.

“From how many people?”

I wince. “Six.”

She gives me a look.

“Teen. Ish,” I continue, smiling.

She laughs, but this one isn’t the same. “That’s not surprising. God, I can’t imagine what other things people are telling you too.”

“Oh, you know,” I say. “Just the usual.”

Carley leans on the fence and smirks. “Hit me.”

“That you’re now a big time lawyer that’s here to take on the evil Dollar General.”

She nods. “I like that one.”

“That you were planning on dressing up as a clown for Firework Night and had been spotted practicing your juggling routine.”

“Stop,” she rolls her eyes.

“I think my favorite was the rumor that you were now a spy.”

“Oh my God, no one said that!” She laughs, her smile coming back like the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

“Maybe I embellished a little. But you know that’s the Elgin way.”

“Can’t argue with that. But you always were a terrible liar, Casey. I’d forgotten how bad at it you actually are.”

My heart stutters, and I stop the stab of pain at the thought. “I’d wager to say that’s not all you forgot about me. I’m surprised that you remember me at all, big city girl that you are now.”

I mean it as a joke…a playful teasing. But as soon as my words hit the air, I realize it doesn’t land that way. For either of us.

“Of course I didn’t forget you, Casey,” she says softly. “I could never do that.”

I hate the small kernel of hope that that gives me. There’s no reason that I should care about her now. She’s taken. It’s the end of the story. We had our chance, and she decided she didn’t want it, though I still don’t understand why.

A million times I’ve thought about that night and wondered if I’d done something wrong. Something that I didn’t realize? That was the one question that I’ve always wanted to ask her, and I can’t hold it back anymore.

I blurt out the question at the same time that Carley talks, and everything is a jumble of words. “What did you say?”

“I asked why you hugged me like that and left at graduation.”