Unlocked (The Alpha Group 3)

I let out a long breath and shook my head slightly. "I know, but it doesn't change the fact that it did."

"Not to downplay what you've been through at all, but to be honest, I think he's dealing with it as badly as you are. Like I said, I was there when he got the news. I've never seen anything like it before. He could barely speak. Everyone seemed to take it as anger, but I know him better than most. I knew it for what it really was. Fear.

"He wanted to throw everything we had at that house the moment they took you there, but that's not how the group works. You can't just use Alpha resources for personal situations, no matter how serious they may be." His lips compressed. "They argued for hours. Virtually the whole room was against him. Eventually, he realised they weren't going to budge, but rather than back down, he just stormed out and came for you anyway. Took an entire squad of our troops. To be honest, I'm kind of glad nobody physically stepped in to stop him. I have little doubt he'd have gone by himself, if he had to.

"For now, nobody is doing anything about it. We've got too much else to worry about. But if I know that group, he hasn't heard the last of it. Not by a long shot." His gaze bored into me. "I understand that this was hell for you, I really do, but Sebastian did everything in his power to make up for what happened. He put himself at risk to save you, so maybe cut him a little slack, hey?"

My mouth felt impossibly dry. I knew Sebastian had been distraught at my kidnapping, but this cast it in an entirely new light. He hadn't simply been cleaning up an Alpha group mess. If anything, he'd been doing the opposite. He'd actively put my safety above the interests of his brothers. He'd broken the rules for me. I didn't know what it meant — was it a temporary lapse or a permanent statement? — but it made me warm all over. My mind was suddenly racing with possibilities.

"I didn't know," I said eventually.

"Well, now you do," he said with a nod.

"Will he be in serious trouble?"

"I don't know. Time will tell. But, in the past, such actions have been... frowned upon, let's just say."

Something about the way he said gave me the impression it was more serious than he was letting on.

I weighed his words. Were Sebastian's actions enough to overcome all of the lies and the secrets? I didn't know. I still had so many questions.

"Liv's death," I said carefully.

His expression turned grim. "Now that was a hell of a thing."

"Sebastian said nobody really knows what happened. Is that true?"

Despite his age, he was still sharp. He saw my implication instantly. "You're wondering if he should have expected this?" He shook his head. "No, nobody could have seen this coming. He blames himself for Liv, but the reality is it was just a case of wrong place, wrong time."

"But if there was nothing to worry about, why did he leave someone outside my place?"

"Paranoia I suspect. You have to understand, Sebastian took that hard, harder than anything I've seen, until you disappeared. He feels like if he hadn't ended things with her, if he'd found some way to make the relationship work, perhaps things would have been different."

I blinked in surprise. "Ended things? He told me they were engaged."

"Ah," he said with a wince. "I'm sorry. I assumed he'd told you the whole story. Technically he didn't lie; they were engaged. Several of us tried to warn him of the dangers of such big secrets in a marriage, but it's hard to argue with love. Of course, it became progressively easier as she began to get suspicious. She was a bit of a computer guru, you see. Was being headhunted by all kinds of A-list companies, but they wanted her to move overseas and Sebastian couldn't, so she turned them down. Anyway, one day, Sebastian left his laptop open at an Alpha login portal. To most people that wouldn't mean much, but to a girl like her, it was a beacon. Soon, she was digging up all manner of strange info. It wasn't enough to tell her anything concrete, but it told her he was hiding something."

He took a long sip from his mug. "So, she confronted him. They argued and she gave him an ultimatum."

"And he chose the group," I finished.

He nodded slowly. "Although 'chose' might be a little generous. This isn't the sort of thing you can just walk away from. A few people have managed over the years, but it requires an immense amount of planning and a willingness to drop totally off the grid. Not exactly an appealing prospect for an up and coming IT whiz."

"I guess not." It was a lot to take in. I couldn't help but notice all the parallels. As well as the one big difference. Sebastian had initially chosen the group this time too but, when push came to shove, he'd picked me.

"Anyway," Joe said, dragging himself to his feet, "it's time to take these old bones to bed. It's been lovely chatting with you, Sophia."

"Goodnight."

He moved to leave, but paused in the doorway. "I hope that whatever comes of all this, you find some peace."

"Me too," I replied.

CHAPTER SIX

Sophia

I intended to head back to my room but, instead, I found myself walking right past the door and continuing up the hallway. Something told me that Sebastian would still be awake. I didn't know exactly why I wanted to see him, only that I did.

My instincts proved accurate. I found him sitting at a desk in his room, hunched over a laptop screen. The door was open, but he didn't appear to notice me, so for a while I simply stood and watched. He looked tired. No, that wasn't the right word. Haggard was more appropriate. A man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Even now, just the sight of him sent a tingle curling through me. A surge of lust, but there was something deeper too, something comforting and strong that blossomed in my stomach like a sunrise. It made the prospect of seeing him again exciting, no matter how often it happened. I was beginning to think that feeling would never go away.

I tried to put myself in his shoes; impossible obligations pulling at me from all sides. Would I have reacted differently? Would I have continued our relationship, knowing the world I was exposing him to? I didn't know. It felt like a position where there were no right moves.

"I know what you did for me," I said eventually.

He flinched at the sound of my voice, his hand darting towards the desk drawer, although he stopped when he recognised me. "Christ, Sophia. Sneaking up on people at four o'clock in the morning in this particular house is a really, really bad idea."

"Sorry."

He studied me. I could tell that part of him simply wanted to send me away. Every conversation between us now was difficult, strangled by guilt and uncertainty. But eventually he spoke. "What do you mean, what I did for you?"