Unlocked (The Alpha Group 3)

"The way you stood up to your brothers when no one else wanted to help rescue me."

He waved dismissively. "Ah, that. It's not a big deal."

"That's not what Joe said. He said it was quite the argument."

I walked inside and sat on the surface of the desk. Sebastian was close enough to reach out and touch now, and I had to resist the urge to do just that. I was doing a good job of keeping my fear at bay, but that didn't mean it had fled. It still simmered inside me, waiting for another opportunity to boil over, and the prospect of facing that alone was almost too daunting to consider. Just being near him soothed my shredded nerves.

"You broke the rules for me," I continued. "In a pretty big way, from what I understand."

His gaze was hard, radiating intensity. I could almost feel the conflict playing out inside him. "What else could I have done, Sophia? I couldn't let them take you."

"I thought the group came first."

He hesitated, then shook his head slowly. "So did I."

We sat in silence for a few moments. I think we both knew what was coming. We couldn't avoid discussing our relationship forever. I was still afraid to do so, lest that wound tear open inside me again, but knowing what he'd done gave me a glimmer of hope. Maybe, somehow, there was a way through this.

"Sebastian, I—"

"Don't," he said, rising to his feet and putting some distance between us. "We can't do this, Sophia." His voice was sharp, almost pained.

"I have to know," I replied. "What does all of this mean for us?"

He stormed towards me and I jolted backwards. "There is no us. There can't be. You've seen the sort of life I lead. How can you even ask that?"

"I don't know," I said softly. "But I'm asking all the same."

He closed his eyes and swept a hand through his hair. "I nearly got you killed. I don't understand how you're even still talking to me."

A few days ago, I might have agreed with him. Logically I knew I still should. But logic had always taken a back seat where he was concerned. Yes he'd kept things from me, but I now appreciated the full weight of those secrets. Everything he'd done spoke of how much he cared for me, and I couldn't deny that my emotions burned just as strongly. I could hold the situation against him, or I could move on and try to build something to go back to, after it was over.

"I don't blame you, Sebastian. I did in the beginning, but I don't now. You couldn't have known. Yeah, if I hadn't met you, none of this would have happened, but then I'd never have met you and, the truth is, that thought terrifies me far more than any of this."

He stared at me with wide eyes, his expression hovering somewhere between anguish and awe. "How do you do that?" he asked. It was barely more than a whisper. "No matter what I do, no matter how sure I am, you say just the right thing to make me question myself."

A smile crept onto my face. "I'm just that talented, I guess."

His expression softened a fraction, but it didn't last long. "I can't keep making these mistakes, Sophia. It's too dangerous. Sure, I saved you this time, but what about next time? Or the time after? This life offers no guarantees. I won't give it another opportunity to claim you."

"So that's it, then? I don't even get a say?" Moisture rushed to my eyes. "Don't my feelings count for anything?"

"Of course they count," he lamented, although he didn't seem to know how to finish the sentence.

"So if we never had a chance, why tell me all those things then?" I asked. "Why bring me into your world? Why slip into my room at night and comfort me like nothing has changed?"

He shook his head desperately. "I don't know. I don't know."

For a few moments there was silence.

"Do you remember what you said to me over dinner, the first time we went out?" I asked eventually. "'Nothing worth having comes risk free.' Well, that's how I feel now." I got to my feet and moved over to him, taking his hands in mine. "I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions. I understand the risks, and I'm telling you I'm okay with them. I love you, Sebastian, and if that's the price for being with you, then it's one I'm willing to pay. The question is, are you?"

The surge of emotion on his face mirrored my own. That was the first time I'd said the L word out loud to him. It hadn't been intentional, but the moment it left my lips I knew it was true. It was so perfectly right. I could feel it down to my bones.

He closed his eyes momentarily. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that. But not now. Not now!" Pulling his hands free, he turned away. "I don't know if I can keep fighting this, Sophia. It hurts too much. Seeing you every day, not being able to hold you or kiss you or love you. It's ruining me."

"So stop fighting."

For a few seconds, I thought I'd lost him again, but then he was spinning and his lips were crashing into mine.

I'd never been kissed like that, not even by him. In that gesture, I could feel every ounce of his guilt, his pain, his love, and I found myself kissing back just as ferociously, my own torrent of emotions thundering through my chest. The joy I felt was almost enough to make me weep.

In a few seconds, he'd worked my track pants free and lifted me back onto the desk. No words were necessary. Desperation and longing burned brighter than the sun in both of us. I needed that connection, that perfect affirmation that said more than words ever could.

I was dimly aware that the door was still open, but nothing in the world could have stopped us at that moment. We were utterly lost in one another. With raw hunger, he yanked his fly down, freeing his shaft, and then buried himself inside me. My skin burned with the suddenness of it, but I didn't care at all. I savoured the pain because it came from him, a stinging symbol of the bond between us.

He moved slowly, coaxing my body to life around him with gentle thrusts. I mewed softly against his mouth, feeling myself grow slick, but he didn't break the kiss. He devoured me, drawing my lips tenderly between his teeth and stroking them with his tongue. His hands found my legs, looping under my knees to lift them higher, allowing him to sheathe himself in me all the way to the root.

Finally he pulled away, only to bury his head against my neck. "Say it again," he whispered, teasing me with a slow rocking motion.

"I love you," I breathed.

"And I love you," he replied.

And then he was moving in me again, his mouth tracing fire across my collarbone, sending my capacity for speech spiralling away. His thrusts strengthened as the animal in him gradually broke free of its cage. He snarled against my chin, one hand slipping between my legs to find my clit, sending a new chord of ecstasy thrumming through me.