One final high before the low.
His eyes darkened with fire when he saw what I was wearing.
I’d been feeling them all the way, the filthy knickers I’d sneakily taken from the counter top earlier when he wasn’t looking. They’d been the most slippery damp between my thighs all the way round that walk.
“You dirty bitch,” he said, and I slipped my fingers right on down.
He didn’t give me a second. A few long steps and he was down on his knees, his mouth pressed to that filth and sucking hard and his hands gripping my muddy thighs so tight I was his prisoner.
I wanted to be his prisoner.
“You’re a filthy beast,” I whispered, and he moaned against my pussy.
“Takes one to know one,” he said.
He didn’t pull my knickers to the side and I didn’t want him to. I loved him like this.
I didn’t know if my legs would hold my weight as I shuddered, so I gripped the counter to the side. My eyes were closed and my body was burning up and the waves took me like I was drowning in the thrill.
Filth.
It was filth.
His mouth was so wet when he pulled away, staring up at me like I was some dirty dark angel.
He pulled those filthy knickers down my legs and sucked them into his mouth, and my tummy did the dirty flutter only he could give me.
And then he got to his feet and he kissed me.
God, I wanted him to.
I wanted to lap up the filth from his mouth and taste his fetishes. I wanted to kiss him so hard we never stopped.
He was the one to break it. I was panting as he pulled away.
“Yum,” he said, and dropped those sopping knickers back onto the counter. “Let’s run you that bath.”
I hovered in the kitchen to finish my juice while he headed on up, and by the time I caught my breath and joined him the bath was already full. Full and bubbly. I stepped on in and sighed as I dropped into the water, and it was heaven.
The whole thing was heaven.
Heaven teasing at the looming hell.
And that’s when he fucking said it, hand splashing in the water as he sat muddy at the side of the bath.
“I love you, Anna.”
It hit so hard I couldn’t face it. I splashed the bubbles and pretended I hadn’t heard him, even though he was right by my side. My brain was spinning with what I could possibly say to that statement beyond confessing the same three words right back at him.
“Seriously, Anna, I love you so fucking much it hurts.”
But not as much as it hurt me.
Finally, I confronted it. I looked him in the eye and I summoned the words, and I said them.
“Then why the fuck did you fuck me over for Maya Brooks? Why the fuck did you fuck her behind my back and spit in my fucking face, Lucas? Why the fuck did you love her so much fucking more than me?”
He was silent, his eyes almost as pained as mine must have been. If that was even possible.
“I’m sorry,” he said, but my head was shaking.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it. Sorry will never cut it.”
“I know,” he whispered. “Believe me, Anna. Nothing ever destroyed me as much as seeing you hurting like that.”
“Fuck off,” I snapped, and recoiled in the bath. And it was there. That hurt and pain and spite spewing up fresh inside after so many years of burying it. Burying everything. “You know nothing about being fucking destroyed. You ripped my fucking heart out, and you laughed. You fucking laughed at me.”
He couldn’t look me in the eye, and I was glad because mine were welling up, and I hated it, I hated that the tears were coming when it should have been the rage.
I pulled myself straight up from the water, and pushed him away as he tried to take my arm. I grabbed the first towel I could see and wrapped myself up before I headed on out of there, and he followed me. He still couldn’t look at me as I searched through his wardrobe, trying to find anything that would cut it on my frame since my own clothes were trashed to hell.
“Seriously, Anna,” he tried. “It’s not like you think it was.”
“Really?” I spat. “Because it seemed pretty clear to me when you were tearing my heart out and laughing about it, Lucas. It seemed pretty fucking clear to the rest of the world, too.”
“I know,” he said, and his voice was so fucking heavy it brought the tears.
“This was supposed to be one night…” I managed. “Shit, Lucas, it was supposed to be one night. Because I didn’t want this. I didn’t want any of this.”
“I know,” he said again, and then he was right there, on his knees in front of me as I tried to put one of his shirts on. I stopped halfway through, my arms giving up and my hands reaching up to my face to hide the tears.