I ran my hand down her spine until it rested on the cusp of her ass. “London, hope is dangerous there. They know how to erase every part of you until you’re nothing. And now… the drug your father made for them will only make it easier because they will use men already trained to kill.” I paused. “Like Georgie’s brother.”
She frowned. “Georgie? Deck and Georgie. That Georgie? I don’t understand.”
I brought her in closer and I told her everything. How Georgie became Chaos, about Tanner getting close to Connor so he and Georgie would trust Tanner. I revealed more than I had to anyone. I did it not to scare her. It was for the opposite reason, because fear came from the unknown. I did it so she could be prepared for anything. To give her power. And to give her what I’d never given anyone, even Ernie—my complete trust.
“Connor was the first to be tested with the drug. I don’t know the particulars as anything involving Connor was kept confidential, but he was in an elite task force—JTF2—when he was taken. He had all the skills necessary without the years of training children. But the difference between persuading children to do what you want and someone like Connor, he won’t mold easily. And some men will never break.”
“The drug.” I nodded. “But my father… why would he do that?”
“Your father would do anything to protect you.” There was no easy way to tell her what was next, but it was important she knew that her father did what he had to. “The fire you were in… I suspect it was Vault.”
She gasped. “But you’re Vault. You set the fire?”
“Fuck, no. But Vault knew your mother died in an accidental fire and then for you to almost die in one… I don’t believe in coincidences, London.”
“But if they wanted to kill me, why wouldn’t they tell you. You saved me from the fire.”
“I don’t kill kids.”
“I was eighteen.”
“True, and, baby, you were so fuckin’ beautiful.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead, lips, lingering as I closed my eyes, wanting to take the hurt away, but knowing she needed to hear this. “Your father was delaying. He didn’t want to continue making the drug, but then with the fire… he had no choice, London.”
I gave her time to accept what I’d told her. To try and make sense of it. Her hand stroked back and forth absently over my abdomen. She didn’t sob or break down, but quietly took in what I told her.
Her cheek glided against my chest as she looked up at me. “Mexico was them, wasn’t it? Another threat to my father?”
“Yes. And no.” I stroked my thumb over her lower lip, still swollen from my kisses. “They had you kidnapped and taken to Mexico, and it was a threat to your father. But it was meant to be more of a threat to me.”
She sat up, her body half-leaning over me. “What?”
“I spent several nights with you, but not in the way they wanted.”
She reached up and cupped the side of my face when I fell silent. “Oh, my God, you were supposed to hurt me.”
“Yes.”
Her hand flinched on my abdomen. “And instead you were going to walk away. Let me go.”
“Yes.”
“But my father—”
“Would’ve got the extra time he needed regardless.”
“But you let me make the deal?”
I raised my brows. “It was a deal I couldn’t refuse. I was a bastard for doing it, but I don’t regret it, baby. I’ll never regret a second I’ve spent with you.”
Her eyes narrowed and lips pursed together before she slapped my chest. “So, I didn’t have to sleep with you?”
“I recall you being very willing.”
“But I thought….” She stopped, thinking about what to say and I let her. Finally, she said, “Why?”
I flipped her over onto her back and lowered on top of her, grabbing her wrists to lock them down on the mattress on either side of her head. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her eyes steady on me.
Her heart raced beneath my chest as I moved in closer. “Braveheart, I’d wanted you for years. I knew it was impossible and safer if I stayed away, but when I saw you in the closet and I knew you saw me… I had to warn you. Scare you enough to not do anything about what you saw. But then you came up with that deal.” I touched my lips to hers and was disappointed that they were unmoving beneath mine. “I knew it was the only chance I’d ever have you.”
“It was wrong,” she said.
“Yeah.” I got off her, swung my legs over the side of the bed, then leaned over and grabbed my pants off the floor. Fuck, I never cared about wrong or right. I did what I had to do, but this mattered. It had been wrong because my decision cost her dearly. “I have to leave today.”