She sat up, taking the sheet with her. “Oh.”
I stood, yanked on my pants then picked up my shirt. “Not sure how long I’ll be.”
“Honey,” she whispered and it was as if she handed me the world with that single word. “When are you going to let someone save you?”
Fuck.
I still had my back to her as I did up the buttons of my shirt. My fingers stilled and my back stiffened. Didn’t she know? I was past saving; I had the marks to prove it and the history to confirm it.
“Don’t need to be saved, London.”
When she sighed, I looked over my shoulder at her. Everything inside me fought against leaving her, but I knew there was no other choice.
She sat on the edge of the bed, her hair in complete disarray, and fuck, she was beautiful.
“You were right,” she said as our eyes met.
I frowned, uncertain what she was referring to.
The sheet dropped and my cock jerked. This was why I’d protected her. Why I cared. It was right in front of me. London’s strength challenged my own. I’d just told her the worst sort of shit possible and she was looking at me with nothing but—
“I do love you, Kai.”
Fuck. I closed my eyes a second as her words sank into me. Love. I’d never been loved. Never wanted to be. I was undeserving of love.
I heard her bare feet walk across the hardwood floor and then she was undoing my shirt again. “Kai, you have good in you. I couldn’t love you unless you did.” Her hands slid down my chest as my shirt parted and my breath locked as I watched her kiss one scar after the other.
I let her. I let her kiss each one before I held her shoulders and pulled her away from me. But what I saw in her eyes was more powerful than anything Vault had ever done to me.
It imprisoned me.
I didn’t know what love felt like, but what I felt for her was indescribable with a single word. It was more powerful. It was all consuming. “London, what we are can’t be explained with a word, only experienced.”
Then I showed her.“Do they know you came to Mexico?”
“No.”
I was dressed and packed to leave. London fidgeted as she picked up her toast and put it down again. She’d spread jam on it twice and tried to put the peanut butter lid on the jam jar. Her legs crossed then uncrossed as she shifted on the bar stool for the last ten minutes.
“You’ll be careful?”
“Always careful, baby.” She closed her eyes, lips drawn together. I tossed my toast down. “London, someone is always after me. Like I said, I don’t have friends and I’ve made a lot of enemies, but I’m careful and know what I’m doing.” Then I softened my voice and stated, “You’re worried.”
“Yeah.”
Fuck, I liked that.
“What about Deck?” she asked.
Yes, what about him. There was no trust between us, more like a mutual understanding, until he discovered my little secret with his girl, Georgie. Then all hell was going to break loose. I was hoping that wouldn’t happen as it could force me to play my hand. Georgie thought I’d kill him, but I wouldn’t unless he tried to kill me first, which was a good possibility if he found out everything.
“He won’t hurt you.” Of that I was certain. Deck was a killer, too, but he had morals and values that rivaled my own. “But he isn’t a friend, London.”
“Kai, I want to call my dad.”
We’d already argued about this. Well, she argued. I simply said no. It was too risky for her to make any contact with him. “No. But when I get back, we’ll talk about it and I’ll teach you how to handle a knife.”
By the spark in her eyes, I knew she liked both those ideas.
“Okay. But maybe it’s safer if I go with you?”
I stared at her a second. After all I’d told her this morning, she still wanted me and yet… I was afraid she’d leave. And she’d need to understand why she couldn’t leave and why she couldn’t go with me.
I grabbed her around the waist, yanked her off her stool then had my knife to her throat within seconds. Her eyes widened and her breath stopped.
“Do you feel the trembling in your limbs, London? The blood rushing through your veins? The tightness in your chest as the edge of my blade rests against your throat?” She couldn’t nod because my knife would cut her. “That’s fear. And that’s dangerous.” I stroked my finger down her cheek. “You’re not ready to go anywhere with me.” And I didn’t know if she ever would be. But I couldn’t think of that. “I need you to do what I tell you. Stay here, eat a shitload so when I come back, I have some real hips to grab.”