The car door slammed and he started the engine. Stray pebbles scattered beneath the tires as he drove. The radio was off. Tyler was silent and even the subtle sound of breathing seemed offensive to the tension in the car. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the side window at the whoosh of cars speeding by in the opposite direction.
I felt like a guppy floundering in a sea of sharks, always trying to escape from something. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. The path I’d drawn for myself always seemed so clear, but suddenly … suddenly, it was all fucked up.
“What happened?”
I jerked at the sound of Deck’s harsh voice breaking the silence and then a rush of comfort settled over me. He always had that effect, as if I was cocooned in his protective warmth. In the beginning when he came back, I tried to escape it, fighting him, but I was only fighting myself. Deck was part of me whether it was right or wrong, good or bad. He lived in me, and I’d do anything to keep that part of me alive.
His voice cut through my thoughts. “What happened?”
“I … I had a bad dream.”
“It was more than that.” A statement.
I nodded. It was my past coming back to find me. After the purging, the memories flooded me, but normally, I was home alone for a few days where no one could see me as my mind and body healed.
“The cuts. The drinking. The ‘bad dream’. I want it all.”
My eyes shot to his.
“You have one day to get your story straight.” He briefly glanced at me. “And Georgie, the story will be the truth.” He was still pulsating with fury, lips tight, brows drawn over his dark eyes, but he was no longer clenching his jaw. He glanced in the rear view mirror. “Tyler?”
“All good, Boss.”
I looked over my shoulder at Tyler and he was typing on his phone. He looked up at me as if he sensed eyes on him and there wasn’t the usual wink or grin, it was his mouth drawn downwards. He went back to typing and I faced forward.
“The police—” I started.
“Are dealt with.”
I nodded. Deck knew people, but breaking me out of a hospital at gunpoint …
“Where are we going?” Please don’t say rehab. Please don’t say rehab.
“My place.”
I took a deep breath then leaned my head against the window. I didn’t want to close my eyes again. I was scared the nightmare would come back, but the drugs weren’t giving me a choice. “Don’t let me fall asleep,” I whispered.
“It’s safe to sleep, Georgie. You’re always safe with me.”
I nodded. Yeah, I was. Deck made sure of it; he always did. “I was scared.” I think it was the first time I ever admitted that.
Deck would naturally think I was talking about the hospital, but I wasn’t. I was talking about my past. The days I walked home from school looking over my shoulder, afraid he’d catch me. My heart slamming into my chest, so scared I’d vomit. I never knew when he’d take me to the shed. It could be weeks or days before he’d grab me.
My parents became concerned because I’d lost weight, but they assumed it had to do with Connor’s death. I thought of telling them what was happening. So many times, I’d opened my mouth to blurt it out then I’d slam it shut, terrified of losing someone else in my life. Robbie was sick. He’d do it. He’d kill my parents if I told anyone.
“I know.” Deck looked at me as his eyes said everything. There was no shield blocking that look. It was him telling me he’d always be there. Him telling me he cared. Then the shield slammed down again and he looked away.
This man … I would never have him, but I also knew I’d never deserve him. Deck was everything I wasn’t and more.
Deck was selfless.
And I knew he protected me because Connor asked him to, but Connor had been dead a long time. Deck put up with my shit, and it was a lot of shit. I knew soon it would blow up and I wouldn’t be able to stop it. I’d tried for most of my life to protect Deck from my lies. It wasn’t for my sake—it was for his. If anything happened to him...
The car went dark as we pulled into the underground parking lot and lurched to a halt. Deck got out, walked around and opened my door. He lifted me in his arms and I curled into him. I inhaled and my body sagged with relief as his scent swirled into my lungs. There was no question, drugged or not, my every molecule knew Deck. I’d recognize him buried beneath the ground.