Porter (Men of Lovibond 3)

I say nothing, forcing her to speak first. “Is Porter here?”

“Nope. Just me.”

“Do you know when he’ll be home?”

If she were any other woman, I’d tell her to fuck off. But that isn’t going to be an option with her. Ever. “Maybe an hour.”

“Can I come in?”

I don’t want to let her in. I need to speak with Porter about this situation before I have any kind of communication with this woman. “I know we need to—and it’s coming—but I’m not ready for us to have a conversation yet.”

“I see he told you about our baby.”

Our baby. Hearing her say that makes me ill. “He did.”

“What are your thoughts about that?”

Dumbest fucking question ever. “What do you think my thoughts are?”

“I would imagine you’re not very happy about it.”

I look at her, saying nothing. What does she want from me? Denial? Confirmation?

“I’d like to come in and talk to you before Porter gets home. Woman-to-woman.”

This woman doesn’t know me, but we have one common denominator. “Okay.”

I return to the kitchen; I’m not taking her into the living room where she can get comfortable. I don’t want her here one minute longer than necessary “You caught me in the middle of cooking dinner.”

She looks at the chicken on the counter and turns her head. “Raw meat has been making me sick with this pregnancy.”

Good. Maybe that will speed up this conversation she’s insisting we have. “You wanted to talk. I’m listening.”

“I already love this baby, and I want the best for it.”

“You are its mother. I would expect no less.”

“A child needs a mother and father one hundred percent of the time. Not a little parenting here and a little there. Would you agree?”

“I strongly believe a child needs both parents.”

“I’m glad you see things that way, so you’ll understand why having you around isn’t what’s best for my baby.”

What the actual fuck? “Excuse me?”

“My baby deserves both of its parents. And Porter isn’t going to be the father he needs to be as long as you’re in his life.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true. He’s going to put you first. You’ll come before his child every time. And that’s not fair to our baby.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I need Porter’s support. He should be going to my doctor appointments with me. He should be by my side when they do the ultrasounds, seeing his child grow inside me. He should be bonding with our baby during my pregnancy. Touching my belly. Talking to the baby. But he isn’t going to do that for fear of upsetting you.”

That has to be some of the most unrealistic expectations I’ve ever heard. “Those are the things that happen when a pregnant woman is in a relationship with the father of her baby. This pregnancy is the result of a one-night stand. You don’t have a relationship with Porter.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. We share a child. That puts us in a relationship, a very special one.”

“But not by choice.”

“Maybe not. But those feelings can change. He can become happy about this baby. He can be by my side when it comes into this world. He can look at our little miracle and fall in love with his child the first time he sees him or her. But he isn’t going to act happy or show affection because he’ll be afraid of upsetting you. Can’t you see? My baby will never have the full love of its father because of you. Can you in good conscience rob an innocent child of the love of its parent? Are you really that selfish?”

“I’d like you to leave. Now.”

I manage to stay strong until the door shuts, but I’m a tearful mess crumpled on the kitchen floor the minute she’s gone.

I lean against the cabinet, sobbing. Because I know there’s at least a little truth to what she said.

They share a child. They share a special relationship.

And I don’t have that with him.

I am so fucking nervous right now.

Frankee’s text says she’s ready to talk. The next text says she’ll cook dinner. And the next says she loves me. That has to be a good sign. She wouldn’t say those things if she were about to leave me.

I have a good feeling about this. A damn good feeling.

Until I find Frankee in a sobbing shamble on the kitchen floor.

I sink to the floor and pull her into my arms. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

She turns in my arms and curls against me like a child. “I came here to tell you I didn’t want to live without you. And that I could accept the baby. But then she came here and now…”

“Who came here?”

“Her. That woman you got pregnant.”

“Charlotte was here?”

“Yes.”

Why? How does she even know where I live? “What did she say?”

“She says my being in the baby’s life isn’t what’s best for the baby.”

“I don’t understand what that means or where that’s coming from.”

“She told me that you’d never be the father her baby needed as long as I was in your life. You’d always put me first, and that wouldn’t be fair to the baby.”

That’s only partly true. “You’re the love of my life. Of course, you come first, but I’m sure I’d learn to balance my time and attention with the baby after it’s born. That’s what any parent does.”

“She wants you to go to the doctor with her and be there for ultrasounds and touch her stomach and talk to the baby, but she says you won’t because of me.”

“I don’t want to do any of that stuff. And that has nothing to do with you.”

“She says you won’t fully love the baby as long as I’m around. And that I’m robbing an innocent child of its father’s love. And that makes me selfish.”

“I’m struggling with my feelings toward this baby, but that has nothing to do with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Parents love their children. It’s what they do. It’s their job. I know it sounds horrible, but I don’t feel anything for this baby.” I’m fairly certain that makes me a terrible person.

“You just found out. I don’t think you’ve had time to process how you feel.”

“I know it’s only been three days, but I think I should feel something. Anything.”

“It’ll come in time.”

“If you were the one who was pregnant, I’d already love the baby. I know I would.”

“Because our child would be an extension of our existing love. It’s not fair to compare the two.”

I don’t know what I’ll do if Charlotte’s visit has made Frankee change her mind. “You said you came here because you didn’t want to live without me and that you could accept the baby. Is that still true?”

“I think I can, but something became very apparent to me during my conversation with her. We’re only three days in, and she’s already using this baby as a wedge between us.”

“Nothing can come between us unless we allow it to.”

“She wants me out of your life. She was very clear about it.”

“Don’t give a fuck what she wants. I want you in every second of my life.”

“I predict that she’s going to make my life a living hell. But because I love you, I’m going to try to make this work.”

I press a kiss to her lips. “I love you so damn much.”

“I love you too.”

“It’s you and me, baby. Forever. No-fucking-body is ever going to tear us apart. Tell me you believe that.”

“I believe that.”

I take my phone out of my pocket. “I’m calling Charlotte right now. Not because she’s important enough to interrupt our time together. I’m doing it because I want you to hear everything said between us.”

I skip the pleasantries of hello and how are you. “Charlotte. Do not show up at my condo a

gain unless you are invited.”

“I came to talk to you about the baby.”

“I understand we need to do that, but we’ll make arrangements to schedule a meeting. Don’t show up here unannounced again. And don’t, under any circumstances, ever try to convince Frankee that she should no longer be a part of my life. She is my life, and she isn’t going anywhere. Do you understand that?”

She hesitates before replying. “Yes.”

“You’re only thirteen weeks along. We’ll set up some kind of meeting in a month or so to discuss a plan.”

“A month? I’ll be nearly halfway through my pregnancy at that point.”

“Why would we need to meet sooner?”

“You’re supposed to see my belly getting bigger as your baby grows inside me. And we should talk about the baby’s development every week so you’ll know what’s happening.”

No. No. No. That’s not happening.

“I’m sure I’d be interested in experiencing that stuff if we were a couple. But we’re not. I’m going to do what I have to do because it’s my responsibility, but don’t expect me to be gung ho about this pregnancy.”

“You’re saying this stuff because she’s there listening.”

“I’m telling you how I feel, and that has nothing to do with Frankee.”

“It has everything to do with her. You’re already choosing her over this baby.”