“What happened doesn’t change things, Chris.”
The fuck it didn’t. As he had been speaking, a flush ran from the neckline of her T-shirt up into her cheeks. If she needed more patience from him, he’d give it to her, but that didn’t mean backing off.
He didn’t have a lot of time before she ran out the door and left him and Dyna behind.
“Don’t gotta change shit. We live under the same roof, share the same space, what’s the difference if we share the same bed?”
“That’s a huge difference, Chris. One is a roommate, the other...” Her words ended in a soft hiss.
“Nobody gotta know you’re in my bed. Ain’t gonna say shit to anyone. But I want you there, Jemma. You wanna deny what’s between us, but deep down you can’t. You think I wanna chase someone who’s got one foot out the fuckin’ door? You think I wanna beg the one person who my daughter thinks of as her momma?”
She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, “This isn’t about Dyna.”
“No, it ain’t about Dyna, Jem. It’s about me and you. What you do to me. What I do to you. Simple as that.”
“It isn’t simple.”
“Could be. You’re refusin’ to see it.”
“I can’t get invested here, Chris. I can’t. Not in Manning Grove, not with this club, not with you. I told you what coming home does to me. It’ll be hard enough when I leave Dyna behind.”
“Love my girl.”
Her green eyes locked with his and the agony he saw in them shocked him to the core.
“Yes.”
“Baby, love that you love my girl as your own. Love that you love her despite that she came from me.”
If he was ripping himself open, he wasn’t doing it half-assed. Just like he didn’t want to raise his baby half-assed.
Both his girls deserved better than that.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Chris,” she whispered. “I barely knew you when we were Fury kids, but I know you now. I didn’t know you in the time between. What you did, how you acted. But I also know what shaped you. I know what shaped me. So I’m sure, however you were, whatever you did, our childhood had something to do with it. The Originals affected us all. Some more than others.”
“You can move past it, Jem. We all gotta move past it. Every fuckin’ one of us. Trip, Sig, Judge, Rook, Stella, me... You.”
“I wish I could, but it’s not that easy. Anyway, it’s more than that.”
“Right. Can’t offer you much. Don’t got a home, no money, don’t got shit besides this brotherhood, my job and my baby girl. But I want you. Even if it’s just ‘til you leave. Just give me that, Jem. However long that is. And I’ll give you what I got to give. Which is me. That’s it. That’s what I can give you for as long as you want me. When you leave, ain’t gonna stop you. I know you want better for your life than what I can offer you. Know it. Feel it. Want whatever’s best for you. Just like I want whatever’s best for Dyna. You saved my ass, Jem. Wish I had a way to repay you for that.”
Never in his goddamn life had he ever thought he’d want a woman so much it fucking hurt. But in the last six fucking weeks, he’d watched Jemma. How she sacrificed to help him and Dyna by suffering with nightmares simply spurred from coming home, how she could’ve left at any time, but stayed anyway.
How she loved his baby girl like her own.
He was unlucky she would leave as soon as she could, but he was lucky that they had her for the time she’d given them.
She’d helped him become a better father when he was floundering. Calmed him when he was panicked. Patiently taught him when he had no clue what the fuck he was doing.
When he was afraid he’d hurt Dyna, she assured him his daughter wasn’t breakable. When he did something wrong, Jemma showed him how to do it right. When he was overwhelmed, she stepped in.
He could now do it without her.
But he didn’t want to.
In those six weeks, the three of them had become a little family. She wanted to rip that family apart.
He would do his best to keep that from happening. “Jem...”
She hadn’t said a word and that worried him.
He dropped his head, stared at his bare feet and pinned his clenched fists to his side. Her hand crossed his line of vision and planted on his chest. Solid and warm.
“Even if you could repay me, I’d never accept it.”
He covered her hand with his own and lifted his head.
“I came home for Judge. I fell in love with Dyna. And now...”
He waited, his heart thundering like a bass drum beneath her palm.