“I respect you, Otto. So I have a proposition for you. I will buy out your contract, simple as that. Fifty sovereigns in your poke, right this second, which I’ll wager is more than you ever had from the instigator. Fifty sovs and you suspend all operations undertaken on the word of this man who hired you. A nice purse for the name of he who pointed the Rams my way. And I’ll sweeten the pot. I seek a day’s amnesty only. If I have not taken care of the problem by sundown, then you are free to hunt me once more.”
This was indeed a tempting offer. “We can murder you tomorrow?”
The teeth glinted again. “You can try, but three of your top bludgers have already tried, and I am sorry to say that Mr. Percival and Co. will not be attending this evening’s soirée.”
Malarkey thought as much. “Here is my counterproposal to you, Garrick. I am planning to close my eyes and sleep. Betimes I say things in my sleep that I would never say when in my waking mind. When I rouse myself, I expect to find you gone and a purse of coin stuffed into my paw. What do you think of that plan?”
Garrick withdrew the needle from Malarkey’s chest. “Close your eyes and find out.”
Mr. Charismo
GROSVENOR SQUARE. MAYFAIR. LONDON. 1898
Chevie first thought that Riley was anxious in the carriage, but she quickly realized that the boy was excited.
“Hey, kid. Are you okay?”
Riley was bobbing up and down in the brougham’s seat, bumping shoulders with Jeeves and Noble, who had been tasked with escorting them.
“Yes, Chevie, I am dandy. Don’t you know where we are going?”
Nowhere, thought Chevie glumly. We are staying right here in Victorian London. I could end up being my own greatgrandmother.
She looked out of the carriage’s window.
Check your surroundings, Special Agent.
They were somewhere in Piccadilly, perhaps driving toward Mayfair, judging by the spruced-up surroundings. The shoals of urchins had stopped clustering around the carriage’s rear wheels soon after they had left the Haymarket, and the number of beggars on the street had decreased as the number of bobbies walking the beat increased.
Riley answered his own question. “We are being sent to Mr. Charismo’s house. The Mr. Charismo. Surely you must have heard of him?”
Chevie elbowed Noble, who sat on her left, for a little more room. “No. I have not heard of this Charismo guy.”
“You have not heard of Mr. Tibor Charismo?” said Jeeves, laughing. “Where’ve you been bunking? In a wigwam?”
“In a wigwam,” repeated Noble, slapping his knee. “You do occasionally throw up a good comment, Jeeves.”
Chevie scowled. “So who is this Charismo person? Somebody famous?”
All three were struck momentarily dumb by Chevie’s ignorance. Riley was the first to recover. “Somebody famous? Mr. Charismo is like Arthur Conan Doyle, H. G. Wells, and Robert-Houdin all compacted into one individual. He is our most illustrious novelist, composer, and, of course, spiritualist.”
“Sounds like I should have seen this guy on the History Channel.”
“Queen Vic herself consults Mr. Charismo,” said Noble, touching the brim of his shabby bowler at the mention of Her Majesty.
“And Gladstone, too, before he popped his clogs,” added Jeeves.
“You are familiar with the James Bond series?” asked Riley.
Chevie jerked in her seat. “Er . . . yeah, actually.”
“The novels featuring Commander James Bond of Her Majesty’s navy. He is second only to Holmes himself for exposing villains, though his methods are a little more direct.”
“The name is Bond. James Bond,” chorused Noble and Jeeves, shooting finger pistols into the air.
“And of course Charismo’s symphonies are world famous,” continued Riley. “Another Brick in Yonder Wall is my favorite, featuring the crazed lute player Pinkus Floyd.”
Chevie frowned. “Yonder Wall?”
“Yes. And who does not adore the stage play The Batman of Gotham City?”
Jeeves seemed genuinely scared. “That Joker character gave me the right willies!”
James Bond. Pink Floyd. Batman?
Chevie was pretty sure these things should not exist for decades. Whoever this Charismo character was, he seemed to know an awful lot about the future.
So how come the future doesn’t know about him?
The carriage transported them to higher ground, and the street noise subsided almost completely but for the far-off rattle and clang of an omnibus and the click-clack of genteel horses pulling plush carriages. If this was not the richest area of London town, then it was certainly no more than a stone’s throw away. Chevie would have been willing to bet that she and Riley were the only people on this street wearing manacles. The carriage creaked to a halt outside a six-story town house that would cost untold millions in the twenty-first century.
“’Ere we are,” called the driver’s booming voice from above. “Grosvenor Square. North side, all ashore wot’s going ashore.”
Before the passengers could disembark, a small, rotund man came barreling down the steps and across the footpath, clapping his hands delightedly. He was impeccably dressed in a gold-brocade waistcoat and navy trousers. But what really caught Chevie’s attention was the purple jeweled turban perched on his head.
“Visitors,” he sang. “Visitors today for Tibor.”
The man leaped nimbly onto the carriage step and flung the lacquered wooden door wide.
“Children, welcome,” he said, poking his head into the doorway. His broad smile changed to pantomime horror when he saw the manacles. “But no! This is unspeakable! Remove these chains from the delicate limbs of my guests. Tout de suite!”
Jeeves was somewhere between starstruck and dutiful. “I dunno, Mr. Charismo. King Otto told me not to take off the bracelets till we get inside the house. I adores yer work, by-theby. Behold the Rooftop Fiddler is the wife’s absolute favorite.”
Tibor Charismo’s eyes flared, and Chevie thought she spotted eyeliner. “Inside the house? You will never set foot in my dwelling. The carpets are from Arabia, for heaven’s sake.”
It pained Jeeves to argue with his wife’s hero, but he knew that Otto was a stickler for his orders being followed. “Be that as it be, but orders is orders, sure as the early bird and so forth.”
Chevie noticed that Charismo was sporting a molded theater mask that covered the left side of his face from hairline to cheekbone. It was cleverly painted to blend in and would only be noticed close up. Chevie wondered if this was a kind of show-business affectation, like the turban, or did it hide something?
Charismo’s curled mustache actually quivered with rage. “I do not understand you, sir. Tell Charismo your name.”
Jeeves pressed himself against the carriage wall. “There’s no call to be looking for a man’s name when he’s only doing his job.”
“Don’t tell him, Ben,” advised Noble. “He’ll have the evil eye on you.”
Jeeves actually shrieked. “You glocky toad.”
“Aha!” said Charismo. “Benjamin!”
Noble rolled his eyes. “Calm yourself, there must be dozens of Bens in London. He don’t know Jeeves, does he?”
Chevie groaned. Stupid criminals were stupid criminals in any century.
Charismo placed the thumb of his right hand on a large ruby in his turban, then pointed the index finger at Jeeves, who at this point was cowering in the corner.
“Benjamin Jeeves,” he intoned, and by some trick of the light his eyes seemed to glow. “Beeenjamin Jeeeeeeeves.”
And that was all it took. “Look, Mr. Charismo, see,” said Jeeves, fumbling a key from the band of his tatty hat and getting to work on Chevie’s handcuffs. “I am removing the bracelets. No need to look into my future.”
Charismo broke contact with his ruby. “Very well, uncouth lout. Now free the boy.”
“No need,” said Riley, tossing the cuffs to Noble. “I took ’em off back on P
iccadilly, while these two were spying on a group of Oriental ladies.”
“I ain’t never seen one before,” mumbled Noble guiltily.
Charismo stepped down onto the footpath. “I shall take delivery of the prisoners, and responsibility, too. Please inform Mr. Malarkey that I am delighted with his service and to await my call on the Farspeak.”
Even the mention of the miraculous Farspeak had the henchmen touching their brims, as though the machine was royalty.
“We will do that, Mr. Charismo, and thank you.”