‘I know. That’s also what’s holding me back. So, you still want to go out tonight?’
Did she? ‘Yes, I do.’ She could be setting herself up for a fall, but sometimes she had to take a chance.
‘See you about six, then.’ And he was gone.
She stared at her phone. Did that just happen? He hadn’t said where he was. It was the weekend and he wasn’t rostered on the ward but bet that’s where he was. It was his bolt hole, she realised. Put a bed in a corner, and fill a cupboard with his clothes and he’d never come home. No wonder he hadn’t got around to redecorating.
Chienne rubbed against her leg.
‘Hey, you. At least I know where I’m at with you.’ She lifted the cat onto her shoulder for a cuddle. ‘I’ve got a date with your dad.’
A date meant dressing up in something decent. And if she wanted a repeat of last night whatever she chose to wear had better be more interesting than jeans and a shirt.
* * *
Raphael stared at the apparition in red standing in his lounge. Sacré bleu. This was Izzy? He could feel his heart exploding against his ribs, while his groin was tightening. ‘I want to rush upstairs and tear that dress off you.’ It had to be the sexiest dress he’d ever seen, and yet he wanted to remove it?
‘That bad, huh?’ She grinned.
‘Oh, yes.’ This had to stop or they’d never make it to the restaurant and as much as he wanted to make love with Izzy he was taking her on a proper date so they could calm down after last night. Put some perspective on things. Except she’d gone and raised the bar to impossible heights. Somehow he had to be strong, stop being diverted by a red ball of sex on amazing legs and ladder-high shoes. Reaching for her hand, he tugged her close and began walking to the front door, past the stairs that’d take them up to his bedroom. ‘Let’s get out of here while we’re still capable.’ Except her hand was soft, small in his, and adding to the need clawing through his body. So much for pulling back.
Hopefully the movie would be scintillating and he’d forget all about his companion. As if.
A couple of hours later Raphael had to admit it hadn’t been too bad. He had forgotten Izzy enough for his body to quieten down. ‘What did you think?’
‘That I prefer romance movies to fantasy.’
‘Got that wrong, didn’t I?’ He looked around. ‘Let’s give that bar a go. Or do you want to choose since I got the movie wrong?’
‘There’s good.’ She wasn’t sounding as excited as she had earlier.
Which might be good since he was trying to slow things down. ‘Wine?’
‘Please.’ She found them a table in the back of the room and shuffled her cute butt onto a stool.
And his body went back to tightening and wanting. While his mind tried to deny everything.
In his pocket his personal phone vibrated. He ignored it. He shouldn’t have brought it with him, but who knew when it might be needed in an emergency. For the first time in ages his hospital call phone was on the table at home since he wasn’t on call. There were other specialists to cover his patients if the need arose. No one was interrupting them tonight.
‘How is Grand’mère?’ Izzy asked. ‘Back on her bike yet?’
‘Not quite. Or she’s not admitting it if she is. I’d have to tell her off.’
‘Yes, and she’d laugh at you, so no problem.’
‘She rang today. She wants me to go home for a visit sometime soon.’ He paused.
Izzy sipped her drink, her gaze fixed on him over the rim of the glass. ‘To spend time with her? Or is there something else happening?’
Was this Izzy’s way of asking did he still intend moving home one day? ‘Only that she wants to catch up and it’s easier for me to make the trip at the moment. She suggested you tag along too.’
‘I’d love to.’ Izzy was still watching him like she was looking for something more. Of course she was. She’d be thinking that if he was over Cassie enough to have a fling with her, then he could very well be ready enough to move back to France. She might be right, and how would she feel about that? Her growing excitement and determination to make London home would come down in a rush, sending her back to wondering if she could ever settle anywhere and be happy. She could relax on that score. He wasn’t going to wreck her newfound happiness, even if that meant ruining his own before he got started.
Raphael gazed at Isabella, his mind stumped with the way he’d been blindsided with their lovemaking. He’d felt as though he’d found something he’d been looking for all his life. Yet it scared the pants off him. He wasn’t ready. Might never be. But to walk away without trying might be beyond him. It might be too soon for Isabella as well. Not to mention the Joshua hurdle for him to get over. He’d never thought it would be so hard to tell Izzy. Sure, no one else knew either, but this was so much more important. It scared him to reveal the depth of his pain and anger. Holding on to those emotions was the one grip on keeping himself complete he had. Airing it might undo him so much that he’d never be the same again.
‘Earth to Raphael.’ Her warm hand covered his. ‘Where have you gone?’
Quick, come up with something. ‘Thinking about when we can manage to go over to Avignon together.’ Together? He really wasn’t keeping back from this, was he?
‘We’ll have to pick a weekend we’re both off.’
‘Of course.’
Their pizzas arrived, looking and smelling delicious. And tasting just as good.
Izzy asked, ‘I know Grand’mère says she’s getting out and about as though the hip operation never happened, but do you think she might’ve slowed down? Might be starting to think about the future in a different light?’
‘I do. She says she’s not ready to move out of the family home, and is thrilled Maman and Papa have moved in. As soon as she’s getting around properly she’ll take the downstairs rooms and save herself those horrendous stairs now that she’s had a fall.’
‘Bet she already thinks she’s capable,’ Izzy said, those golden eyes focused entirely on him. ‘It’s your family tradition for someone from each generation to live in the family house at some stage, isn’t it?’
‘Oui. Though my parents have taken a while to get there.’
‘You haven’t thought of skipping a generation and moving in yourself?’
Damn. Should’ve kept his mouth shut. ‘Izzy.’ He reached for her hand. ‘I live here. I’m still not ready to return to Avignon.’ Please believe me. Why should she when he didn’t?
Tipping her head to one side, she studied him so intently she must’ve been able to see everything he was striving to keep to himself. As bumps lifted on his skin, she said, ‘As long as you’re sure. And happy.’ Then she picked up a slab of pizza and ate so calmly that he struggled to believe she’d been any different moments ago.
If Isabella remained determined to make London home, then he might have to factor that into any decisions he made about his future. His heart slowed. He did want to return home one day. He also wanted to have Izzy in his future once he’d laid everything else to rest.
As soon as the pizza was finished, Izzy pushed her plate away and stood up. ‘I’m ready to go home.’ The gold returned to her brown eyes.
‘I’m whacked.’
‘You and me both.’ Physically and mentally.
* * *
Isabella could feel her heart pounding on the quiet drive home. She couldn’t make Rafe out. He was on edge, like he didn’t want to be with her while at the same time he enjoyed her company.
What had changed since last night? Had he got cold feet? Raphael, Mr Confident, running scared? Couldn’t be. Was he going to let her down too? Hardly. He hadn’t made any promises about anything. Could be it had been a one-night fling. Except she couldn’t accept that. They were too close for that. Or was that the problem? They were close and he was afraid they’d lose it all? That she could understand.
Pulling into the drive, he said, ‘Thanks for the night. I enjoyed it.’
That was it?
‘Me too.’
She shoved the door open and clambered out in an ungainly fashion with her high heels. So not used to wearing anything so far off the ground. Making her way inside she waited by the front door until Raphael joined her.
‘I might do some work on the computer,’ he muttered, looking everywhere but at her.
Isabella placed her arms around his neck and leaned in against him, tipping back enough to look into his startled face. ‘You really want to do that?’
‘I think it’s best.’
For who? She stretched up on her toes and placed her lips on his mouth.
His hands took her hips. To pull her forward? Or push her away?
She pressed her mouth over his, slid her tongue inside. Tasted him. Slipped out and back in.
‘Izzy,’ he groaned. ‘Stop.’ His hands tightened their hold of her, tugged gently so her stomach touched his need.