And he wanted her to stop? Try again, Rafe.
Now he was kissing her, possessing her, giving as much as she was offering him.
Pressing her peaked nipples against his chest sent ripples of desire racing through her, heating her body, fizzing her blood.
‘Isabella.’ Strong hands lifted her away, put space between them.
Isabella.
He was serious. ‘Don’t you dare say we can’t do this. Not now,’ she growled.
Not when I’m pulsing with need for you.
‘You don’t understand.’
‘Damn right, I don’t.’
‘I can’t promise you anything, Izzy.’
She relaxed at Izzy. ‘I haven’t asked you to.’
‘I know.’ He was still holding her. ‘I might hurt you.’
True, and she might hurt him. ‘I’m a big girl, Rafe. I’ll take whatever happens on the chin.’
‘Yes, but...’
She placed a finger over his mouth. ‘But nothing, Raphael. Make love to me. Please.’
Those dark eyes locked on her, searching for what she had no idea. There was apprehension in his gaze, which was slowly replaced by excitement. ‘If you’re sure,’ he said as he swung her up into his arms and carried her upstairs.
Very sure. If there were consequences, then she’d manage. It would hurt but she could not walk away from tonight.
* * *
Isabella looked through the window to the beautiful garden beyond where Carly and Adem’s wedding ceremony would take place in a few minutes. She was so happy for her friend. She also couldn’t help wondering if she and Raphael would ever get to this point. They’d had an amazing week, making love every night, but there was an obvious hesitation in his approach to her, as though he wasn’t ready. Which he had kind of intimated on their date night. Well, she wasn’t one hundred per cent ready either but she was up to giving it a chance by working hard to keep the doubt gremlins quiet, and believing in herself. The past was over, the doubts brought about by Darren finished with. But she wasn’t here to think about that. This was Carly’s day.
‘Isn’t this a gorgeous setting?’ she said to Esther. The gardens were colourful with roses and peonies and other flowers bright in the sunshine.
‘Magic. And don’t we all look swish in our silk dresses?’
‘Not bad at all.’ Raphael was standing with her friends’ men, looking completely at ease. The moment Carly knew he was accompanying her to the wedding, he’d been told he’d be Isabella’s escort when they stood with Carly and Adem as they exchanged their vows. What was he thinking? Would he ever want to get married again?
‘Lily, no.’ Esther grabbed Lily’s hand before Carly’s bouquet of blue flowers was destroyed. ‘Come on. We’d better get this show happening before little miss here does something we’ll all regret.’
‘Group hug first,’ Carly said as she approached them. She looked beautiful in her dress with her hair falling free over her shoulders, and a small baby bump beginning to show.
Tears threatened to spurt down Isabella’s face. ‘You look stunning. And so happy.’
The four women gathered close to hug, tears on everyone’s faces. ‘So much for the make-up,’ Chloe laughed.
‘Me.’ Lily pulled at her mother’s skirt. ‘I want a hug.’
She got four, then Isabella, Chloe and Esther gathered around Carly to lead her out to the garden to get married.
The ceremony was short, spoke of love and commitment and had every female in the garden in tears. Glancing sideways at Raphael, panic struck. Here was a man she truly loved, with everything she had. Yet she couldn’t celebrate. He wasn’t showing signs of loving her back. What if she was doomed to another broken heart? This time would be far harder to get over than her previous mistake. Swallowing hard, she dragged in air to calm the banging in her chest. She could not get upset or worried today. Not when her girlfriend was celebrating finding the love of her life, and she was standing beside Raphael.
‘Knew I’d need this.’ Rafe handed her a handkerchief. ‘Brand new, just for you.’ His smile was soppy, like he too was feeling the love going on. And why wouldn’t he be? There wasn’t a soul in the garden who didn’t look the same.
‘Ta,’ she sniffed, dabbing her nose and eyes, and doing her best not to mess up her make-up. Mascara under the eyes was such a great look. Except by the time Carly and Adem slid rings onto each other’s fingers the make-up was long gone, and Raphael had passed her a second handkerchief, pocketing the first one, sodden and stained blue-black. When Adem leaned in to kiss Carly, Isabella clapped, hiding the sudden spike of jealousy.
‘You’re such a softie.’ Rafe grinned, then blinked, looking away.
‘And you’re not?’
‘Un peu.’
‘Sure.’
A little? Underneath that serious specialist façade was an emotional man who was good at hiding his feelings when he felt they’d be used against him. She gave a little gasp. Was that the cause of his hesitation to talk about the future? He had something to hide?
Not now, Isabella.
True. She was wasting a wonderful occasion worrying about herself. Today wasn’t about her. Or Raphael. ‘Weddings do that some people.’
‘Not me usually. But for some reason today feels extra special.’ He was looking into her eyes, right in, while smiling that sensitive, loving smile she adored.
What was he saying? ‘It is.’ She gave him back a smile. One that told him the words she hadn’t managed to utter yet. I love you. ‘There are weddings, and then there are other weddings. This is one of the best kind.’
Raphael’s lips brushed her brow. ‘You look beautiful, Izzy. Inside and out.’
‘How many handkerchiefs did you bring?’ she asked around a lump in her throat. Gone was her ability to fob off words she didn’t know how to deal with by saying something witty or growly.
‘It was a three-pack.’ He stepped back and looked around the garden, suddenly very interested in the roses.
Great. She’d gone and lost him again. He was doing that more and more. She loved it when he kissed her. He made her feel cherished and at ease with her life. Yet all the time those doubts kept surfacing. How long was this going to last? Would they get more involved, or would he walk away? What did he want out of life?
An image of Raphael holding a baby in the maternity ward snapped into her head. Babies. He wanted a family. Still, there was a ‘but’ hanging around that he hadn’t explained. And she still had to conquer her fear of letting him down. Drawing in a breath, she flipped from her worries to her friends. ‘Right, I’m going to hug the bride.’
‘I’m coming with you.’
Thought he might. ‘Carly, I am so happy for you.’ Isabella wound her arms around her friend.’
‘You’re next,’ Carly whispered against her.
Her happiness plummeted. Don’t say that. Might be tempting fate. ‘Oh, that’s a long way away off. I’m just enjoying the sex,’ she whispered back.
Carly pulled back, stared at her in astonishment. ‘You’re not certain this will come to anything?’
‘Just being cautious, that’s all. Now I need to give Adem a hug.’ And shut Carly down. She moved sideways to the bridegroom. ‘Adem, congratulations. You look beyond happy.’
‘I am, Isabella. Way beyond.’ He wrapped her up in a hug, then turned to shake Raphael’s hand. ‘Right, can we get a drink now? Or do I have to abstain all afternoon?’
‘Let’s go inside. There’s cocktails for everyone, and the dinner will also be in there.’ Carly was waving to someone else, and when Isabella turned she saw Chloe and Esther coming their way.
‘We’re heading inside,’ she told them.
‘Good idea,’ Esther said, nodding at the greying sky. ‘It’s chilled down a little out here, and doesn’t look like improvi
ng. These dresses are amazing but they’re not made for warmth.’
‘Off the shoulder leaves a lot of bare skin,’ Isabella agreed. Checking that Raphael was still talking to Adem, she saw that Xander and Harry had joined them, and more handshakes and stiff male hugs were going on. The four men got on very well, which made it easier for her and the other women. Nothing worse than a partner who didn’t fit in with your circle of friends. Isabella spied Lily about to step into the garden and went to take her hand and head inside. ‘Do you want something yummy to eat?’
‘Chocolate?’
‘Maybe later. How about some little cheese bickies first?’
‘Will I like them?’
‘We’ll get some and find out.’ All the other guests were now inside the understated room that spoke of class, and accepting the glasses of champagne being handed around. Izzy grinned. ‘Just like old times.’
‘What? Us together?’ Chloe nodded. ‘It is, isn’t it?’