The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I pulled her hands off my face. “You’re the one who’s going through this, and you’re telling me to take care of Dad? You’re taking care of me right now…when I should be taking care of you. I’m the one who’s supposed to say everything is going to be okay.”

Her strength didn’t wane. Her eyes didn’t even water. Like a fucking titan, she didn’t even flinch. “Derek, I don’t need you for that. I need you to do that for him. Promise me that you’ll do that. You can’t hide in your penthouse or bury yourself in work. I need you to be there for him through this. He needs you more than he’s ever needed anybody.”

I couldn’t stop the sobs, so I nodded.

Her hands moved to mine, and she held them, giving me a motherly squeeze.

I squeezed her back, squeezed her harder than I should. “Mom, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said calmly. “It happens.”

I closed my eyes and more tears fell. “I can’t lose you, okay? You’re the best fucking mom in the fucking world… I can’t. You’re the best person in the world. You’re the best…everything.”

She gave a slight smile. “You’re the best son a mother could ask for. And I have no doubt that you’re going to help your father get through this. All my energy is going to go into kicking cancer’s ass, so your energy needs to go into this.”

I nodded, still crying hard in the hallway. “I won’t let you down, Mom.”

“I know you won’t.”

I couldn’t sleep.

I sat in the living room, in the fucking dark, stared at the coffee table, and just writhed in pain.

One thing could change your world forever.

One thing could make you realize how much you took for granted.

One thing…could change everything.

All those dinners I skipped, all those times I didn’t say thank you for going above and beyond for me, all those times I cared about my birth mom who couldn’t care less about me when I should have cared about the woman who’d loved me like own her since the moment she met me.

Regrets…so many fucking regrets.

The first thing I did when I got home was call Emerson. But the second I heard it ring, I quickly hung up, knowing that I couldn’t call her.

That she wasn’t in my life to call anymore.

We hadn’t really had a conversation in three months.

I couldn’t even remember the last thing I said to her.

I texted Dex. You awake?

Mom and Dad told you.

I called him and heard his voice when he answered. “Hey…”

“Hey…” The sound of his voice made me start crying again.

He was quiet.

“Fuck.” I sniffed and wiped away my tears, clearing the emotion from my throat. “How long have you known?”

“They told Daisy and me yesterday. I knew something was wrong the second I heard their voices. They asked us not to say anything to you because they wanted to tell you in person.”

I stared at the coffee table, still breathing hard.

“I said I would take a sabbatical from residency so I could be home, but Mom told me to stay.” His voice broke with tears. “Mom said she was going to beat this…and it was unnecessary.”

“How the fuck is she so calm about this?”

“Because she’s Mom. She’s fucking amazing.”

“Yeah…” I cried and listened to him cry.

“She’s comforting us when she’s the one going through this…crazy-ass bitch.”

I released a painful chuckle through my tears. “Yeah, I know.”

He took a deep breath and released a sigh. “They didn’t tell me any details about anything. I didn’t ask. I just…want her to beat it. Whatever it is.”

I couldn’t believe I’d spent what could be her final Christmas as a fucking asshole. “She has her first chemo treatment. I’m going with them.”

“Good. Dad needs you.”

“I know he does…”

Work was meaningless to me now.

I didn’t even go in.

I waited around until the appointment then met them at the hospital. Mom was put in a gown and placed in a room while they waited for her turn to receive her treatment. My dad sat at her bedside, holding her hand, looking pained but strong, his thumb brushing her knuckles.

I sat beside him, doing my best not to have a reaction, to be as calm as they both were.

Mom looked at him, a smile on her lips and in her eyes. “You nicked yourself this morning.”

There was still a piece of tissue paper on his chin because he’d forgotten about it. “Yeah. Wasn’t paying attention.”

She grabbed the paper and pulled it off. “There. That’s better.”

He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “We’re going to get through this, alright? We’ve got the best doctors on this.” He spoke with strength, being like Mom, remaining positive.

“Not to mention the best doctor.” She smiled at him.

“Yeah…” He smiled back.