He looked shocked. “Hey there, what are you doing here?”
I held up the cups of coffee as the steam evaporated into the semi-cold air. “I brought Brandt a coffee. I hoped I could steal him away for a few minutes. He’s hardly been home.”
Adam opened the door, and I stepped in. He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Umm—Brandt had a meeting across town and isn’t here. I think he’ll be back later this afternoon.” Alarms went off in my head. I was sure he said he’d be spending the day training the new employees. He continued, “If you want to stay here for a bit, you know you’re welcome.”
Suddenly, my stomach was all knots, and I handed Adam the coffee. He had full-sleeve tattoos on his arms. “Here’s some coffee to enjoy since Brandt isn’t here. I’m going to head on out. It was good seeing you.”
I plastered on a fake smile. I needed to call Brandt before I started voicing my concerns. He deserved the benefit of the doubt.
“Good seeing you, too.” I started for the door when Adam called after me, “Nikola, is everything okay?”
Looking back over my shoulder, I said, “Yes. I’m just missing Brandt and hoped to get a few stolen minutes. Better luck next time, huh?”
Adam adjusted the coffee cups in his hand and watched me closely. Trigger walked over and gave me a small nod. Something seemed off with Adam, too. Normally, he was a balls-to-the-wall kind of guy, but he was hiding something.
“Yeah, we should be done with the training soon. It’s going to mean a lot fewer hours for both of us.” Adam looked down at his phone as it started ringing.
This was the perfect time for me to make my exit. I chuckled and said, “I’ll be ready for that. I’m headed to Grandmama’s. I’ll see you later.”
“See ya, Nikola. Thanks for the coffee. Tell Anne I said hey.”
Smiling once more before I left I said, “You bet.”
I pushed open the large metal door. A light drizzle had begun, only adding to the dreariness of the day—and my mood. In this moment, I felt alone with no one to turn to. Everyone had so much on their plates, and it felt trivial for me to add to the worry with unfounded theories.
After getting on the road to Grandmama’s, I decided to call Brandt. It was better to face it head on than ignore the situation. Connecting my Bluetooth, I dialed Brandt through the car’s interface. A slight crackling came over the speakers as the line connected. People ran along the sidewalk as the rain came down harder. The phone started ringing.
Ring.
Pause.
Ring.
Pause.
Ring.
“Hey, baby. Are you headed to Anne’s?”
I took a deep breath, relieved to hear his soothing, normal-sounding voice. “I just left the club,” I said. “I brought you coffee, but Adam said you were at a meeting across town and wouldn’t be back until this afternoon. I thought you’d be training all day.”
I sounded a tad accusatory, which made me feel guilty, but not enough to retract it. With my nerves standing on edge, the need to know won. Lately, any little thing seemed to magnify ten times.
I heard Brandt take a deeper than normal breath. He’d definitely picked up on my tone. “Something came up, and I was needed across town. Is there something else going on here? Just say it, Nikola. Don’t start accusing me without a reason.”
My anger flashed as I thought about his response and what I had been through. “You’ve been gone a lot. I’m getting very vague explanations. Of course, one of the first things I’m going to wonder about is drugs.”
“I can’t fucking believe this. This is not what you think.”
Those words were close to what he always said to me before and I recoiled in my car as if they were covered in acid as they absorbed into my ears. I stayed silent.
“Nikola?”
“Yes.” My voice was pointed.
More silence followed. “Do you think I’m doing drugs?” I paused for a second too long. “Wow, I thought we’d moved past this. I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Brandt, don’t hang up.”
The line was dead. I’d royally messed up, and a lump formed in my throat. Tears streamed down my face. Hitting Redial, I prayed he’d pick up for me. It went to voicemail. I tried again. Voicemail. And again. Voicemail. Panic rose in me.
He wasn’t doing drugs, and I didn’t know why I’d accused him of it. Part of me felt off-balance, waiting for the other shoe to drop at any minute. Everything in my personal life hung by a thread, and I’d cut the only secure lifeline I had. I’d hurt the only man I’d ever loved.
Maybe if I text him. I pulled over and swiped at my eyes.
I texted Brandt.
Me: I’m so sorry. I deserved that. I don’t think you’re doing drugs. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions. Please talk to me.
Brandt: I need a few minutes. Let me grab some coffee. I’ll call in a bit.
Coffee. I knew where Brandt potentially was. I turned my car around and drove as fast as I could through all the traffic, weaving in and out as quickly as possible. Please, let him be there. Please. If Brandt was within a reasonable distance, he always went to our coffee shop. He loved Kennedy’s Coffee. The place was special for us, since we’d had both of our first dates there. I was within two minutes of the place as my heart raced. I increased my windshield wiper speed.
Pulling in, I parked in one of the last spots. I scanned the parking lot for Brandt’s truck. Thunder rumbled in the distance. My heart soared when I saw his SUV parked off to the side at the alley entrance. I hopped out of the car and ran toward it. I looked at everyone who came out of the coffee shop doors. The rain became harder, and it soaked through my clothes. I didn’t care. A familiar body walked out, and my throat was dry as he ducked his head down and started running for his vehicle.
I called out, “Brandt!” but the thunder and lightning drowned me out.
Pushing my feet faster, I tried to catch up. He was in his car and about to start it when I practically slammed my body into the side of the vehicle and tapped on the window. Brandt jumped at the sound and had a shocked look on his face.
“Nikola—”
More thunder rolled through and I couldn’t hear what he said.
I yelled, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Brandt opened the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk. “What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t let that stand as it was. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t think you’re on drugs. Everything seems upside-down, and you’re the only thing that hasn’t fallen apart on me. I’m waiting for you to be taken from me, too.” My lip trembled as I spoke and the drops of rain mixed with my tears.
Brandt’s strong arms brought me to him. “I’m never leaving you, Nikola. I know you have a lot going on with Anne and Wesley, who were there for you when I was in rehab, getting my shit together. But I’m here now, and I’m not leaving. Fuck. I shouldn’t have made my work week so busy. You’ve needed me, and I haven’t been there. I’m sorry, baby.”
I hugged him closer, needing his heat as the cold water soaked through me. “You didn’t deserve that, Brandt. I’m so sorry. I love you.”
Brandt held me tight. “I love you, too.”
After a few minutes of holding each other, Brandt pulled back. As we looked into each other’s eyes, it felt like we were encapsulated in our own world.
Without warning, his lips descended on mine and our tongues intertwined. We walked backward and all I cared about was being in Brandt’s arms.
He’s was my forever and I was his. It didn’t matter where he was taking me as long as I was with him.
NIKOLA CAME FOR me. She’d chased after me. Her doubting me cut me to the core. I know I’ll always be an addict, but I expected to be judged fairly, not accused. I shouldn’t have taken on all the extra work training a manger plus trying to get Nikola’s surprise ready. Deep down, I felt like I was running out of time, so I’d pushed forward, knowing this week w
ould be hard for us.
Her tight body pressed against mine as the rain pelted our exposed skin. The sky had darkened around and there was a faint roll of thunder in the background. Our mouths devoured each other as our tongues collided.
I needed Nikola.
I wanted her.