Zack (Cold Fury Hockey 3)

"No," he says on a sigh. "I put him at the kitchen table with a piece of pizza and ordered him not to move."

Jerking out of his arms, I say, "You need to get back. You can't leave him alone."

Zack pushes his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I know. But I couldn't let you leave like that. Will you just get in the car and come back to the house?"

I have my stubborn pride, but I also know Zack is stubborn too. He's not leaving until I get in that car and go back to his house, and I am not about to let Ben sit by himself for another moment more. Spinning on my heel, I say, "Fine. Let's go."

We're silent on the short drive back, and when we walk in the house Ben is happily sitting at the table, pulling pepperoni off his pizza. Zack watches me warily, but I don't pay him any mind.

"I'm tired," I say quietly, knowing he won't argue with me in front of Ben. "I'm going to head to bed."

"You need to eat," Zack says, almost pleadingly.

"Not hungry," I tell him, and then walk up to Ben. Leaning over, I give him a kiss on top of his head. "G'night, Silly Putty Pop Star."

Ben tilts his head backward to look at me upside down with a grin. "Night, Kate."

As I start to head back through the living room toward the stairs, Zack tries one more time. "Kate..."

"We'll talk tomorrow," I tell him without looking back.

And what should we talk about?

Should I tell him that he's sending me mixed signals? Should I tell him that every time he pulls me closer, he then does something to hurt me? And yes...it hurts a lot to have a physically intimate relationship with someone that I've come to admire and care for, who doesn't return those feelings.

It's stupid of me, really, to keep going.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But on the flip side, Zack has made many changes since we've started this sexual relationship. He's pushed aside boundaries that he'd said were set in stone. I'm sure he must care some for me.

I'm just not sure it's enough.

--

Zack clearly didn't hear me when I told him we'd talk tomorrow.

He came into my room just after nine P.M. I was awake because damn if I could go to sleep, despite how tired I was. The entire wretched scenario just kept playing over and over in my head.

Zack walks over to my bedside table and turns on the lamp. I blink from the bright light since I had been lying in the dark for a few hours. He just stares down at me a moment before he says, "Guilty."

I shift and then sit up in the bed, pulling the covers over my lap. "Excuse me?"

"I felt guilty that Gina's pictures weren't out. I felt like I was betraying her memory that they weren't out. I felt like shit, I felt guilty, and I took it out on you. And I'm sorry."

Well, damn...every bit of anger, hurt, and doubt that I had been feeling dissipates and is replaced just as quickly by empathy for Zack. Before I can say anything, he takes a step closer and squats down beside my bed. His hand comes out and rests on my leg. "I'm really sorry, Kate. You didn't deserve that. That was my pill to swallow and I tried to shove it down your throat instead."

"It's okay," I say softly, my hand reaching out to tug on his shirtsleeve. "You're entitled to be an ass every once in a while."

"I'm trying," he says as he looks at me with naked honesty in his eyes. "I really am. You've thrown me for a loop, Kate. You've made me feel shit I didn't think possible and it's all confused in my head. I just want you to bear with me for a bit while I work through this."

I nod at him, my heart cracking wide open and trying to suck him inside. "I can do that."

"I can't promise you anything," he says just as gently. "I still don't have anything to offer you other than what we have right now. There may never be anything else other than sex. I'm just being honest, but you can't hold out hope for some romantic fairy-tale ending for us, okay?"

I wait for my heart to start breaking again, but it doesn't. It instead opens a bit wider with complete acceptance of the fact that Zack is a broken man and he may never heal enough to be what I need. But he is enough for me right this very minute.

"So it's still only sex between us, huh?"

"Yeah," he says, his head tilted to the side and apology in his eyes. "But I am really sorry for hurting you a bit ago. The last thing I want is to hurt you."

"Well, peachy keen, jelly bean," I tell him with an inviting smile as I lie down and scoot over on the mattress. "If this is just sex, then how about we get to that part of what we at least do well."

Zack's eyes flash hot as I pull the covers back and invite him in. He stands up and whips his shirt off, his hands then going to the button on his jeans. He stills for just a moment. "You're sure?"

"For right now," I tell him truthfully. "Right now...at this moment...I'm sure."

Chapter 25

Zack

In just two and a half days, Delaney, Kate, and I have the house almost entirely unpacked. The only thing left to do is sort through some of the shit in the garage that I wasn't sure if I should keep or not but hadn't had the time to go through before we had to move. That can wait until after the playoffs, though.

The doorbell rings and I get up from the couch to answer it. Delaney is in the kitchen, preparing everything for a spur-of-the-moment barbecue I decided to have. I called up Ryker and asked him if he wanted to come over and have some burgers, and he was all for that. He just sent his girls back up to Boston after a short visit from them and I figure the dude has to be lonely after that.

Opening the door, I see Ryker standing there with a six-pack of microbrews and a grin on his face. "Dude...nice house."

"Thanks," I say as I step back for him to come in. He holds his hand out and I give it a quick shake.

"Brought you some housewarming beer," he says.

"Sweet," I say as I take it from him. "Come on in the kitchen. Delaney's getting everything ready. I'll give you the grand tour later, but right now I have to start the grill."

"Man's work," Ryker states.

"Damn straight," I tell him. "And grilling the burgers too."

He laughs behind me as I lead him through the living room. Once we get into the kitchen, I introduce him to Delaney. She can't do anything more than give him a smile of welcome since she's making the burger patties. I entrust Ryker to her care, though, so I can go start the grill, and even think briefly to myself, I wonder if they'd have any interest in each other?

Probably not. Delaney is a workaholic and she'd never leave Manhattan.

I step out onto the back deck and my eyes immediately go to Kate and Ben. She's sitting in one of the swings while Ben is working the monkey bars.

My eyes shift back to Kate, and she looks so beauti

ful sitting there. Everything seems to be back on track with us now, and for that I'm grateful, because I sure as hell don't know what I'd do if she kicked me out of her bed. I'm fucking addicted to her special combination of goofy charm and blazing-hot sexiness.

The last time I was able to touch her was the night I so stupidly let my inner douchiness come out when I saw Gina's pictures weren't unpacked. I wasn't lying to her. That was just a product of me feeling like shit about myself and piling that pain onto someone else. Thank God she forgave me the transgression and let me back inside.

And she did take me inside her body that night. She and I fucked all night long. I stayed in her bed, intermittently dozing with her, only to wake up with another hard-on and the need to fuck her again. Over and over and when the sun came up, it still didn't feel like it was enough.

I felt almost a desperation. That the more I could make her orgasm, the more she'd be okay with what I was able to offer her.

I haven't been able to get near her since then because, damn, Delaney is staying in the guest room next to Kate's and I just don't want to deal with listening to her bitch if we're busted. But Delaney's leaving tomorrow and she's taking Ben with her. They're going on a planned trip to Nova Scotia to stay with our parents for about ten days and then going to go see Gina's parents while there so they can spend some time with Ben.

That gives me one week alone with Kate--less the away games during the first round of the playoffs that start the day after next--and my dick jumps in eagerness as I think of all the things I could do to her in this house when we're alone.

Suddenly, Ben lets out a wail and I see him on the ground underneath the monkey bars, flat on his back. Fear courses through me and I jet toward the deck stairs and launch myself down them. By the time I hit the ground, Kate has gotten him up and is holding him. His arms are wrapped tightly around her neck and his face is pressed into her shoulder as he cries loudly.

"What happened?" I say anxiously as I come to a skidding halt next to them.

Kate gives me a reassuring smile. "He fell off the bars. Knocked the breath out of him is all. I think he's more scared than hurt."

My heart rate immediately starts to calm, but my heart aches over Ben's cries. There is nothing worse in the world than hearing that from your child.

"You okay, buddy?" I ask as I brush the hair back from his forehead. He lifts his head and looks at me with big fat glistening tears pooling and then spilling.