I kept my eyes closed and my head turned away. He allowed this for long moments before I felt his teeth nip my ear.
Then he whispered, “Clara, honey, I get you’re freaked. I get your strugglin’ to find your way.” His hips pressed into mine and I liked that so much, I had to swallow my moan. “What you gotta get, baby, is you gotta think a’ that when you got doubts. You gotta think about how much you love what we got and how hot it can be, how intense, how deep that connection is. ’Cause, babe, people don’t have this shit. This is just for you and me.”
Oh no.
I liked that.
I liked it too much.
I knew I felt that for me. I knew what we had like this, like now, was something special, something beautiful.
I just didn’t know he felt the same.
I closed my eyes tighter.
I felt his nose sweep my jaw before his lips went back to my ear. “And something else you gotta get, darlin’, is that I’m here. I’m always here. I promised to have your back and I mean that every way you can mean that to be.”
I didn’t understand this, not exactly.
But Buck saying that set visions sliding along my closed eyelids, memories shifting through my brain.
Buck holding Tatiana and kissing the top of her head.
Gear talking about Buck surprising him with the car they worked on together.
Buck telling me he liked to make me smile.
Buck making me and his kids French toast, waffles, everyone getting a turn to decide what they wanted, and Buck giving it to us.
Buck making me kiss him to end a fight.
Falling asleep with my head on Buck’s thigh, his fingers in my hair.
Buck handing me money for a day out with the girls, a dinner with Mrs. Jimenez.
Buck looking for Tia and getting upset because he couldn’t find her.
Buck giving me a home and making me feel welcome there, my place, my space, never making me feel temporary, a nuisance, a burden.
Before I could stop myself, I turned to him, and his head lifted up when it did.
“I never thanked you for my car,” I whispered.
I felt his body relax on mine and I didn’t even realize it was tense.
“Babe,” he muttered then touched his mouth to mine.
Once he’d done that, he pulled out, rolled to his back and lifted his hips, yanking off his jeans. He threw them aside and then tugged the covers out from under us, pulled them over us and curled me into his side.
Then he asked, “You drive it yet?”
“Tatie and I cleaned the house. Then Locke made us corn dogs and tater tots. I wasn’t certain a joyride in the car that started…”
I stopped talking as I realized where I was leading.
Buck’s arm around my waist gave me a squeeze.
“Toots, friend of a friend was in a jam, needed money fast, had to unload his Charger to get it. I’ve had that car down at the shop and been fuckin’ around with it for months. Was gonna fix it up and sell it but didn’t wanna. It’s a sweet ride. The minute I met you, I knew your ass had to be in that ride, so I finished it, and Ink and me brought it up while you were workin’ yesterday.”
Oh dear.
I liked that too.
I liked that he went out of his way to surprise me.
I lifted my head and looked down at his shadowed face. “The minute you met me, you knew I had to have that car?”
His hand not around me came up and cupped my jaw then slid into my hair, pulling me closer to him.
“All right, maybe not. The minute I fucked you against the wall and knew I was gonna be fuckin’ you for a while, I knew your ass had to be in that ride.”
“That car is cool and I’m not cool,” I told him.
“No, that car is sweet, and that car is hot and, babe, you’re both a’ those.”
Oh no.
I liked that too.
I shook my head.
He was something else and the something else he was being now felt nice.
Then I dropped my head to press my face in his chest.
After I did this, two things occurred to me.
One, he was apparently settled in for the night without the need for a quick visit to the bathroom, and two, there was wetness between my legs, and it wasn’t all mine.
My head shot up.
“Did you use a condom?” I breathed.
“Uh… no, babe, you coming against my mouth like that, wasn’t gonna wait to get my dick in there.”
“Oh God,” I whispered.
His hand still in my hair tensed.
“Babe, it’s no big deal.”
“Buck! I still haven’t started my period.”
“You will.”
“I won’t if we keep forgetting condoms!” I snapped, something we had not done since our early days.
Oh God!
He pulled my face close to his again.