“Babe, learn now. Read me. When you start to freak out, calm down a second, take a breath, think about it and read me.”
At first, I had no clue what he was saying.
Then, I still had no clue and I was too busy freaking out to take a breath and “read him.”
Finally, I took a breath, forced myself to calm down, and it struck me that he didn’t need to calm down.
When he said he had my back and that he had my back in every way that could be, he had my back.
He didn’t care if I got pregnant, because, he might not be trying to start a family with me, but if it happened, sixteen years down the road, he’d give our child a car and I could be on his deck or I could be on the phone with him, and it was up to me if I was a bitch.
Oh…my…God, God, God.
“You don’t care if I get pregnant,” I whispered.
“Not so much,” he replied instantly. “Like I said, you’ll be a good mom. And just sayin’, got even more proof that’s the motherfuckin’ truth after last night, this morning, and tonight.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed then my eyes narrowed in the dark. “You aren’t…trying, are you?”
He rolled into me and both his arms went around me before he said, “Life is life, gorgeous, and you gotta let go and live more. I love the feel of you. You love our connection, and babe, I feel the same. I don’t like anything between you and me. A kid comes outta that, so be it. You need to get on the pill. We had so much goin’ on, we’ve let that slide and we need to get on it. Until then, I’m happy to take my chances if I get what I get from you. And I get what I get from you, I get it a lot and it’s always fuckin’ good. Tonight, better than ever. So, no, I’m not tryin’, but I also don’t care. If that’s the price of havin’ you the way I want you, I’m happy to pay it.”
Oh dear.
There it was again.
I liked that too.
It wasn’t romantic.
It wasn’t flowery.
It all seemed to be about sex.
But he loved the family he had. His kids meant a lot to him.
And the fact he didn’t mind having more, as crazy as it seemed, said a lot about him.
“You’re a very unusual man, West Hardy,” I blurted, because he was.
No man just shrugged at the thought of creating a child and all that meant to his future in order to get great sex.
Buck was silent then he shifted into me, shoving his face in my neck to muffle his bark of laughter.
I tried twisting my neck and pressing my head in the pillow to get him to look at me, but I failed, so I called, “Buck.”
He pulled his face out of my neck and brushed his mouth against mine.
Then he whispered, “Yeah, gorgeous, I’m unusual,” and he whispered it, still chuckling.
“Buck—”
He rolled to his back, tucking me into his side, saying, “Wiped, Toots. I had less sleep than you last night and a seriously jacked-up day. Time to crash.”
A seriously jacked-up day?
Did he just mean Conley, Tatie, and dealing with me?
Or did he mean something additional to all that?
I wanted to ask. I really wanted to ask.
I didn’t.
Instead, I muttered, “All right.”
He gave me a squeeze, and muttered back, “Thanks, baby.”
He was settling, he was ready to sleep, he told me, and I felt it as I took a second to read him.
Therefore, I slid an arm around his flat stomach. “’Night, Buck.”
He didn’t reply, but he also did.
His arm gave me another squeeze.
And then he replied.
But not to say goodnight.
To say, “And babe, also worth a repeat, we’d make a gorgeous kid.”
Words which had me wide-awake and again wondering if he was trying to get me knocked up.
Buck slid right to sleep.
It took me a while, but not long, and then the crazy of the day and night before washed out of me, and I was back to my regularly scheduled program of deep, restful sleep in Buck’s bed in his house.
And in his arms.
22
The Biker Babe Initiation
The next morning, as usual, I was up, in my robe and in the kitchen making coffee before anyone else was the same.
Not as usual, as I was pouring my first cup, I sensed movement.
I turned as I shoved the pot in the coffeemaker to see Tatiana, looking cute and sleepy and about five years younger, shuffling toward me.
I braced when I realized she wasn’t going to stop, and I took the hit as her body collided with mine and her cheek landed on my shoulder.
She also curved her arms around me.
I felt her casual, unconscious affection rush through me, warm and sweet, and it was a feeling I’d never had before.