Buttons and Blame (Buttons 5)

“It’s because of Pearl that I can’t do anything, and you know that. I can’t risk her safety.”

“Then send her somewhere.”

“Where?” he demanded. “The safest place in the world for her is at my side. If I send her to another country, I have no guarantee that she’s safe.”

“Then bring her in on this. She’s tough. She’s smart.”

“That’s not funny,” he said coldly. “My wife stays out of this. She’s been through enough.”

“I know her as well as you do,” I said. “She would want to be a part of this. She would want to save Adelina.”

“We both know I don’t give a damn what she wants.” He slammed his hand into his chest. “All that matters is what I want. She’s a brat with a head too big for her little shoulders. She’s naïve and thinks she can take on the world. She’s not getting involved in this. Final decision.”

I understood my brother was protective since he’d almost lost her a few times. She was his entire world. Without her, he would go back to the miserable shadow that used to stand in the corner. But he forgot why he fell in love with her to begin with. “She’s not some weak little girl. You’re forgetting how tough your chick is. When I was doing…that horrible thing to her…she never showed a sign of weakness. When she was captured by those bounty hunters, she escaped. When she took my place and went back to Bones, she killed him. I understand why you’re protective, but don’t forget the woman we’re talking about. She’s not some damsel in distress. If she heard us call her that, she’d kick us both in the nuts.”

Crow stared at me with the exact same expression, cold and quiet. He didn’t jump to his feet and argue with me, and he let the words soak into the air around us.

“I have to get her, Crow. I can’t live like this another day. If I die in the attempt, so be it.”

Crow sighed, his eyes cringing. “Take a second to think about what you’re doing. You’re declaring war against a hostile ally—over a woman. You’re starting a blood war the likes of which we just ended. This could go on for generations. Think about how this will affect Pearl and me. All we want is a quiet life in the countryside, making wine. You’re risking all of that by doing this.”

I bowed my head and stared at the floor.

“This would be different if we still had her. We could have done something to make it look like she ran away or died. Breaking in to his compound and waging war on everyone inside is going to be nearly impossible. Even if we kill everyone, there could be more somewhere else. Do you understand the magnitude of this?”

“Yes.” I rubbed my palms together, my eyes glued to the floor.

Crow sighed. “We can find you another woman, Cane. We can find you one just as pretty and just as feisty. Most women would kill to be rescued by us. We could go to the underground market and pick one out.”

“Fuck you, Crow.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I don’t want some other woman. Losing her isn’t difficult because I’m lonely and horny. It’s difficult because…I’m in love with her.”

Crow was dead silent.

I didn’t raise my head to look at him. It was easier to stare at my hands. It was easier to downplay the powerful confession I’d just made. I’d never said those words in my life, and they jumped off my tongue so easily.

Crow continued to be quiet, letting the words sink in further.

When minutes passed and we didn’t speak, I finally straightened in my chair and looked at him. “I wish I didn’t feel this way. I never wanted to feel this way…but I can’t sleep because of it. I can’t breathe because of it. If she dies…I’ll never be the same. It was a mistake to let her go in the first place. It was a mistake not to protect her. Now all I feel is regret. All I feel is pain.”

Crow watched me with his dark eyes.

“I know this puts you in a difficult position. I understand you have to protect your own family. If you don’t want any part in this, I won’t hold it against you. You and Pearl can hide somewhere until the dust settles.” I sighed and looked at my hands again.

“Cane.”

My gaze met his.

“If you love this woman, you know I’m in.”

My eyes immediately filled with emotion, touched by his loyalty.

“It changes everything. If she’s going to be a Barsetti someday, then she’s my family. And I have to protect her.”

“Thank you…”

He sank back into his chair, his eyes heavy with the task. “But I need to make arrangements for Pearl. I have to place her somewhere where she can’t be found, where she’ll have everything she needs if I don’t survive.”