“Yeah.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “They were so mad, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to be with him.”
“I hear you. I would have given my life for Lana. Glad I didn’t, though.”
I quirk my lip at the side. “Yeah, that would have been bad.”
“While you did give up everything, it was your choice, and all that matters is how you feel about it. Not them. Do you regret it?”
“All of it,” I admit, and his smile falters.
“Then, in all honesty, that’s enough to deal with. You don’t need someone telling you how wrong you were. You know it.”
“But I know she’ll come at me with all of it, which is why I haven’t spoken to her.”
“I know your mom, and I’m sure she regrets everything she said. I bet she was doing it out of love. Problem with that is that when you do something out of love, the other person doesn’t always see it that way.”
“Yeah, I didn’t. I do now. But when it ended, I felt so alone.”
“That sucks ass. They shouldn’t have done that to you. Or let it go that long.”
I shrug. “You know how we are—a bit stubborn.”
“A bit? I watched Ryan go at it with your uncle over mashed potatoes. I seriously thought they were gonna fight, and at one point they did with their spoons. When you guys think you are right, you guys are right.”
My face breaks into a grin as I shake my head. Sounds like my family. “This is true.”
“But I think, and this is just an outsider’s point of view, that after you talk to your mom, you’ll feel a lot better. I think you’re holding on to all this anger and resentment against her. I know I would. Shit, maybe I’m stubborn?”
I’m still grinning, even with tears in my eyes. “Could be.”
His eyes are sparkling as they hold mine. “But once you two clear the air, I think everything will be better. Especially for you, since you’re still so hurt. You might be holding on to the guilt of fighting them so hard but then them being right the whole time. I don’t fault you. I did the same thing, and it took a while to realize maybe I should have listened to people who know how life works better than a young buck in love with some hot ass.”
My face hurts from smiling. “I thought Drew and I were in love. We dated all through high school.”
“My mom told me that it’s hard to trust young love. That we’re still growing, and either we grow together or we grow apart. Lana and I grew apart.”
“Wow, that’s the realest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“My mom is pretty badass, but even I thought she was wrong, and I argued with her. It happens. But now we just gotta be smart, ya know?”
My heart hurts as I gaze up at him. I don’t know why. I don’t know what I’m feeling. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“I want to relish that comment, but I feel I am never right. So I’ll wait to see how it goes.”
I giggle softly as I rock back and forth on my heels. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime. Wanna finish our run?”
“You want to?”
He nods, a silly grin on his face. “I’m committed to this run. We gotta get the crazy out so you can talk to your mom.”
Tears threaten to fall again as I gaze up at him. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. Do you need a hug? I’m told by my mom that I am a wonderful hugger,” he says, that grin still on his face as he holds his arms open. I step into them instantly, wrapping my arms around his torso and hugging him tightly as he envelops me in his embrace.
“I think your mom is the realest woman ever.”
“She is,” he says against my hair. “It’s all going to be okay. You’re one strong-ass chick.”
I close my eyes and squeeze him a little tighter. I want to tell him that I’m not. That I’m a weak, dumb chick who stayed with a man for far too long out of stubbornness and pride. He never asked why I left Drew, and that surprises me. He was honest with me, told me everything about his ex, but he never asked about mine. I don’t know why, but I am thankful for that.
I pull out of his arms because if I don’t, I’ll stay there. “Ready?”
“Born ready,” he says, his voice a little rough. “You good?”
“Yeah,” I lie. I’m not good, haven’t been in a while.
“Cool, let’s go.”
As we run, I pray he’s right, that talking to my mom will help.
But truth is, talking to Chandler actually did wonders for me.
And that can’t be good.
As I take a long sip of my wine, I stare down at my phone. It’s just lying there, ready to be used, but dialing my mom’s number terrifies me. We’ve only communicated through email. Usually in response to a long and wordy email from her, I would write back that I was fine. That was it, those three words, even if they were so far from the truth. I couldn’t ever tell her how bad it was. I couldn’t admit that she was right, that I was stupid to give up everything for someone who wouldn’t do the same for me. I’d thought he would, but Drew wasn’t that man. I’d really believed he was. He showed so many of my father’s amazing traits when we were dating. He was kind, funny, and he treated me like a princess. That all changed quickly when we got married. I wanted so much to experience the fairy-tale love my mom had, but I got nothing of the sort. Drew wasn’t even half the man my dad was.