“I’ve got condoms.”
“You’ve had condoms since the first time you kissed me.”
“Yeah, but I want to actually use ‘em.”
“We can’t,” she whispered, even as she reached down and began unzipping his pants.
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t really want to. You want to wait, I know you do.”
“I don’t think I can wait anymore.” His green eyes glittered at her in the dark of the night. “I told you this would be dangerous.”
“I’m going to help you.”
“Good, let’s get your pants off.” He hissed out as his hands reached down to unsnap her jeans. She knocked his hands away.
“No. We’re going to take your pants off,” she said.
“Hannah, baby—” The button on his fly popped open and she slid his zipper down. Josh had no willpower and lifted his hips and helped her push his jeans and underwear off. “We need your pants off for this to work, baby,” he teased. “I know I’ve kept you innocent, but I figured you had that part worked out.”
“We’re not doing that.”
His hand pressed against the vee between her legs and that very instant, the wet heat he felt through her clothing almost drove him over the edge. “Please, baby.” Shit. Now he was begging.
“Shhh. It will be okay.” Her hand wrapped around him and held him tightly and Josh saw stars. “I want to do this for you.”
Shit. He wasn’t going to fight her on this anymore. Although he hadn’t really been fighting her over it, more like avoiding it, was all. But now he wouldn’t do that anymore. She was seventeen and if she wanted to jack him off, who was he to tell her no?
He put his hand over hers and showed her the motion he needed as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He was rock hard in an instant and his eyes opened and fastened on her, watching her hand on him. “God, that’s good, baby.”
“Yeah, it is. You’re so hot, Josh.”
“You are. I love you, Hannah.”
She lifted her head and kissed him softly, without stopping the movement of her hand. “I love you, too.”
“You’re mine forever.”
“Please, yes. Forever.”
Josh felt it coming and he knew he was only seconds away from exploding in her hand. “Next time, we come together. I promise.”
“Yes.” Her lips came back to his and as she thrust her tongue inside, the universe exploded and all that was left was Hannah. Ecstasy engulfed him, and he came, hot and hard, in the tight little fist that was making his world perfect.
****
Several weeks passed and Josh could have kicked himself in the butt. Why in the hell had he waited so long to do what they were doing now? Well, he knew why, and he supposed he was glad they waited, but holy crap. It was good. Things between them were excellent. The things she did to him, he was in Hannah heaven. Yeah, it was good they’d waited, but now she was seventeen and everything was as near to perfect as Josh could have ever hoped for.
****
Josh felt the euphoria slowly recede and a feeling of total contentment permeated his being. He hugged Hannah tightly and leaned down and kissed the top of her hair. Their fingers were entwined and he gently played with the softer skin under his.
What he felt for her was so strong that he was almost disturbed by how much he needed her. His happiness seemed to revolve around her, and he vaguely wondered if that was an entirely healthy emotion. He pushed the uneasy thoughts aside and refused to dwell on them. If anything ever happened to Hannah, it would be pure hell and his life would probably be absolute shit until the day he died, but somehow, he knew that he would manage to survive. He’d survived everything that life had thrown at him.
All he wanted was for them to be together, and with satiation running through his veins, he couldn’t stop himself from telling her how much he needed her. “I want to marry you, Hannah. You know that, right? Just as soon as you finish college, we’re getting married.”
Josh knew that what he was telling her wasn’t anything new; she’d heard him say the exact same thing before, so she shouldn’t be surprised by his words. So when her head slowly lifted from his chest, and it was etched in lines of uncertainty, he had a bad premonition. Josh could read every nuance of Hannah’s expression, and when disquiet encompassed her features, he knew something was wrong. A strong look of guilt was in her eyes that he couldn’t miss, and it sent queasiness down to his stomach where it settled like a ball of curdled milk. “What’s wrong?”
Her eyes dropped from his and her gaze settled somewhere below his chin. She tried to speak several times before she was successful. “I need to tell you something,” she said softly.
Her tone held something that Josh didn’t care for and he grimaced in reaction. “What?”
“It’s really no big deal … it shouldn’t be a big deal.” She took a deep breath and her eyes stayed focused below his face. “It’s kind of a secret, you know? I’ve never told you before because … “
When she stopped speaking, Josh’s heart accelerated with sudden fear. “What is it?”
“It’s just that things are getting really serious between us and I think you should know.” She began shaking her head back and forth. “Truly, it’s nothing bad … I mean, nobody else would think it’s bad.”
He gritted his teeth in impatience and from the implication that he was different from everyone else. What the hell did she mean by that? “What. Is. It?” His fists tightened on her upper arms.
“It’s silly, really. I don’t know why I’m worried about telling you. You won’t care. I know you won’t.”
Hannah’s words sounded as if she were trying to convince herself rather than him and Josh’s nerves were jolted to another degree. “What?”
She inhaled deeply. “I have a trust fund.”
“A trust fund?” He didn’t know why he was shocked, but he was, and he tried to keep it from his tone.
“Yeah.”
A streak of pain and disappointment hit him, and he lifted her by the upper arms until she was hanging over his chest and he could see her eyes. “What the hell kind of trust fund?”
“M-money.”
“Money.” His tone was flat but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
“Yeah.”
“How much?”
Her eyes closed momentarily before opening again and staring straight at him. “Three million.”
Josh choked and pushed her away as he sat up straight. His world had been so perfect not five minutes ago. What the fuck had happened? Hannah moved to the passenger window and put her back against the door as he shoved his fingers through his hair and tried to get his emotions in order. Shit. Three million. Three-fucking-million. He didn’t think he could deal with this right now. When she’d gotten her damn car, he’d hated it so much that they rarely took it anywhere. But he figured that someday, the car would get old and die and that would be that. But three million? That shit wouldn’t ever go away. Oh hell, no. Even if they never touched the money, which they wouldn’t, it would just keep growing and growing and always be there, dividing them, putting a wall of inequality between them. She’d have three million dollars and he’d have … nothing.
Nothing but Hannah. And she was worth more than all the money in the world. He needed to remember that and stay focused on his goal but it was more difficult than anything he’d ever done.
A rock lodged in his esophagus and dropped to his gut as torment grabbed him around the throat. Misery bled through his veins as he realized that for the rest of his goddamned life, the people of Redwood Falls would look at him as if he were exactly like his father, out for a free ticket through life.
After a few moments he became aware that he’d been staring unseeingly at the steering wheel, but now he managed to glance over at Hannah. She was as white as a ghost, and he knew that she’d been right to worry about his reaction. He tried like hell not to blame this on her, when it had been hi
s own damn fault from the very beginning that he’d never been able to stay away from her. He should have known this was going to happen. There was just too damn much money in the McIntyre family for it to be otherwise. He’d been lying to himself, pretending she wasn’t a part of that damn family, when that was as far from the truth as you could get.
And she was lowering herself to him. For him. And he didn’t want her to do that. Fuck. How could he deal with this? An idea blossomed in his brain. You could just give money away, couldn’t you? There were charities and shit that would take that kind of money off your hands, right? Starving kids in the world? Shit. He couldn’t make her give her money away. He put it from his head and resolved to worry about the immediate moment.
His hands clenched around the steering wheel. “When?” It was the only word that he could manage.
“When do I get the money?”
“Yeah.”
“On my twenty-fifth birthday.”
That wasn’t so bad. Surely nobody would think he’d want her just for the money? Shit. Look at her. She was gorgeous. And what guy in his right mind would wait eight years for money? If the world thought he was out for an easy mark, he wouldn’t wait eight years, right? His heartbeat began to settle down. “And that’s it, right?”
“What … what do you mean?”
“Just the money? Three million fucking dollars, but no other surprises?”