Pushing You Away - Noah & Katie (Ex-Con Duet 3)

“Really? That’s funny, I was looking through some of my old yearbooks. Should’ve known you wanted me by how you signed it.”

“What’d I write?”

Noah’s eyes gaze down my body as we stand next to each other in the kitchen. I do the same to him, except I’m imagining what’s underneath his clothes.

“You put, ‘Your Girl for life’ and then ‘ha-ha’ in parentheses.”

My eyes widen, and I smack my forehead. “Oh my God, that’s embarrassing.”

“Are you kiddin’? I cherished it. Might’ve jerked off to the fantasy of you whispering that in my ear.”

“Noah!” I swat his chest. “You were too young for that.”

He barks out a laugh. “You can’t be serious. I was sixteen. I’d been doing it for years at that point, mostly to images of you.”

“Stop, oh my God.” Now I know my face is beet red.

He smirks, grabbing a paper towel and spraying some cleaner on it before going to the table. “Wouldn’t be surprised if Owen is taking extra long showers.”

I release a groan and inhale a deep breath. Owen having a father would come in handy right about now. He needs a man to talk about this kind of stuff with. I don’t even know what I’d say. Is it time for the birds and the bees talk?

“Katie, I can see the dials spinning in your head.” Noah moves in front of me as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “Owen only has a few years before he’s a full-blown teenager. Do you remember all the trouble we got into at thirteen and fourteen years old?”

“Half of those ideas were yours!” I scold.

He cackles. “Yeah, and the other half were yours.”

“I guess I didn’t realize how fast he’s growing up. I kinda forgot that he’ll need a man to talk to him about puberty and girls. He won’t want his mom to tell him what to expect.”

“You’re right,” Noah agrees. “But luckily, he has a lot of people in his life, though. There’s me, Tyler, and his grandfathers. He might’ve already had the talk with one of them.”

“You think so?” My heart races at the idea.

Noah shrugs. “Only one way to find out. Also, he has access to the internet, so it’s likely he’s already stumbled across something on his tablet.”

“Ugh,” I say.

I check my phone and realize I’m going to be late returning to work. Our conversation is all I’m gonna be thinking about for the rest of the day. If we’d restored our friendship years ago, where would we be today? I wonder if we’ll ever be able to get back to how things used to be or if we’ll always have this lingering what-if between us. “Shit, I gotta go. My break is over.”

“No worries, I’ll finish cleaning up here and look through your list for anything else I can do.”

“Thank you,” I say.

“For what?”

“For sharing with me what you went through and why you acted the way you did. I can’t pretend to have any idea how being in prison was for you, but please know I’m here for you. I always have been. You don’t need to hide from me anymore,” I tell him sincerely. “Please, don’t push me away again. I don’t think I can survive it twice.”

Noah closes the gap between us and cups my face. He lowers his forehead and presses it to mine as our breaths entangle.

“You deserve the best, even if the best isn’t me, but I’ll never make that mistake again.” He pulls back slightly until our eyes meet. “I can promise you that.”

Chapter Sixteen

NOAH

It’s been one week since Katie and I opened up to one another. Though I was nervous, I’m happy I gave her a glimpse of what I went through and how I felt. I think we’ve found common ground, and it feels nice for the truth to be out in the open. Understanding where her head and heart have been opened my eyes. Her feelings are valid, and I should’ve never ignored her while I was in prison.

The elephant that’s been sitting on my chest, smothering me for the past decade, is finally gone. I can finally breathe again, even if I’m not sure what our future holds. If all we can be is friends, I’ll take it, although it’s not what I want.

After Katie showed me all the ideas she had from her Pinterest boards, I started working on the pantry. It’s been five days, and she hasn’t noticed, so I’ll be excited to surprise her when it’s finished.

After I saw what she envisioned for the kitchen and how excited she was about completing it, I decided to focus there next. Katie has a lot of tools here, but she’s missing key things like a circular saw. Dad brought his tools over, and I salvaged some old wood and supplies I found in Katie’s garage. After I sanded and stained the wood, I measured and cut the boards, then got to work building her dream pantry. It took four long days to finish, and my dad’s coming over this morning to look at it before I show her. He has an eye for these things, and I want his opinion.