Her eyes find the ground, and she shakes her head. I see the tears fall then, and I step up to her because, despite everything, seeing her in pain is not something I can bear.
“Think of it this way, you’re free,” I tell her, my hand reaching up to touch her face, pushing back a strand of hair.
Those eyes that I know will haunt me until the day I die penetrate me when she looks at me. It’s like a smack to the soul I wasn’t expecting but would gladly take from her.
She pinches her lip between her teeth and rolls it before she opens her mouth again. “It’s never going to work,” she says in a small voice.
“No,” I say, dropping my hand. “It won’t.”
“That hurts more than you can imagine,” she says, looking past me before those eyes fall back to mine. “But losing Beckham would hurt me more, of this I know.”
“I know.” And I do, because losing Paige, well, that has fucked me up beyond belief. And now I don’t know what to do with myself. “I would never ask you to choose. Ever. I will make that choice for you.” I step back and turn, reaching for the helmet, knowing if I don’t leave soon, I may never leave her.
“August,” she says, and when I turn back to her, she throws herself at me, her body slamming into mine as she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me to her so our bodies are joined, and her lips slam into mine.
This isn’t like our usual kisses. This one is filled with so many goodbyes that we cannot say, so many hellos that we will never get to experience. And so many I love yous that we will never have.
I hold on to her with the same force she holds on to me and kiss her back.
Love was foreign to me before she walked into my life. It still is, a little. I never really got the chance to experience it all. But I know, with her it could have been something beautiful.
She tastes like sweet tears mixed with brutal adoration.
Pulling back, she falls from my arms, separating us as her hand reaches up and touches her lips, eyelashes fanning her face as she looks at me.
“I’ll miss you, August Trouble. You and your wicked heart.” When she says my last name, a small smile plays on her lips before it falls away.
I turn. No more words can leave my lips as I get on my bike. I start it, sliding on my helmet as I see her brother and sister walking back toward us. I look at her one last time and imprint her in my memory.
What a beautiful memory it is, and what a wicked heart I have.
Chapter 6
Rylee
Watching him leave is one of the hardest things I have done. I never wanted him to go, but when my brother walks past me, still angry, I know it’s the right thing to do.
His pain should come first.
Beckham lost his first love, and at his age, that’s all that matters. He can’t see beyond that. He doesn’t know beyond her.
Rhianna places a hand on my shoulder as she walks past, giving me a squeeze before following Beckham inside. I stand there, in my wet clothes and with bruised lips. Staring in the direction August went, wondering if he will turn back.
He shouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop a part of me wanting him to return.
So badly.
“Rylee.” I spin around to Noah standing there, still dressed in his black suit from the funeral. “I want to give you these.” He passes me a set of keys. “They’re to my apartment. I have a feeling you may not want to go in there right now.” He nods to my apartment. “If you just need some time, take it. I won’t be back until tomorrow if you want to chill by yourself. I have wine in the fridge and chocolates in the cupboard.”
“Thank you.”
“He lost someone dear to him. Anger takes time before grief sets in. He loves you. It’s why he is taking it out on you the most. He knows you’ll be there, and you can handle it. So, just give him time.” I nod. “If you need anything, call me,” he says, then turns and heads inside. I reach for my keys in my purse and walk over to my car, not bothering to go inside to grab anything I might need, and leave.
If you had told me a few days ago that the person who hates me the most right now would be my brother, I would have laughed at you because that would never happen. But it did.
I spent two nights at Noah’s, soaking in his bath and crying myself to sleep every night. Then I went back to work.