Shandy kept my office shut and made sure no one disturbed me. I’m thankful for her looking out for me.
Every hour, I look down at my phone and wonder if he will answer if I called.
Would he?
Where is he?
I don’t have the answer to these questions, and no one has spoken about August either. It’s like he never existed. But he did. My body and mind know, oh boy, do they know.
The days tend to blend into each other, and I don’t go home for the rest of the week until Friday rolls around, thanks to Noah giving me extra time. I found a few extra clothes of Rhianna’s at Noah’s and have been wearing them for the time being. But now I have to go home to get some clothes of my own. When I open the door to my apartment, I find her waiting for me at the table. Her head raises, and her dark eyes lock on me, and she offers me a smile.
“How you doing?” she asks.
“How’s Beckham?” I say, ignoring her question.
She shrugs. “As good as he can be. He went back home yesterday. Mom came and got him. But he’s refusing to go to school next week.” She pauses. “But, I asked how you are. So, tell me, how are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Fine is a lie. We both know that.”
I ignore her and head to my room, dropping the bag of dirty clothes I have.
“Noah hasn’t spoken to him if that’s any consolation,” Rhianna says, following me as I start to clean up my mess. My hands pause on my bedsheets as I hear her speak of him. “And Noah said August should be fine, wherever he is.”
“Yep,” I answer. Of that, I don’t have any doubt.
“But you are clearly not.” She wraps her arms around me and pulls me to her, so my back is to her front. I let her hug me and don’t move. If I do, I may just cry. “I’ll order us dinner,” she says, giving me one last squeeze before leaving the room. I shut the door behind her and lie on my bed. Reaching for my phone, I bring up his number.
No contact.
It would be the smart thing to do, not to speak to him. But what if he answers?
It’s been a week, and I can still taste him on my lips.
Miss him between my sheets and want him by my side.
I press call and put the phone to my ear as I listen to it ring.
He answers but doesn’t say hello.
August knows it’s me. Is he not saying anything because it’s me?
I hear the rev of an engine in the background and just lie there wondering what I should say.
“I missed you today,” I whisper, hearing his breathing into the phone, but he doesn’t respond. “And I missed you every other day before that.”
The tears fall now.
Why isn’t he saying anything?
Doesn’t he miss me as well?
“I haven’t been home all week. I finally came home today. Beckham still won’t talk to me.”
I hear Rhianna call my name.
“I have to go, August,” I choke out, bite my lip, and shake my head. Before I can say anything else, I hang up.
“You okay?” Rhianna asks. I nod and stand from my bed to follow her out. When I enter the kitchen, Beckham is there, his hands at his sides as he stares at me.
“Beckham,” I say, taking a step closer to him. He’s taller than me now. When I look at him, I don’t see a boy any longer. He’s almost a man. In a few months, he’ll be eighteen. He and Paige were going to live together after school.
That isn’t going to happen now.
“I’m so mad at you,” he says, his eyes pinning me. “But I love you.” A soft, sad smile plays on my lips as I walk over and wrap my arms around him. He pushes me away. When I squeeze and hold on tighter, he finally wraps his arms around me too, and we simply stand there. Holding each other. Helping each other grieve.
“Guys, I’m starting to become the jealous sister again.” I chuckle as I pull away from Beckham and shake my head. She pulls out food that I didn’t even know she had ordered, and we all sit with me next to Beckham. His eyes are still so red, I want to take his burden away, but I can’t. It’s impossible for me to do so.
“They had his funeral last week. No one went but one woman,” Beckham says to me, talking about Josh. I have a feeling I know who that one woman was.
August’s mother.
“Good, he’s an ass,” Rhianna chimes in.
“How do you know?” I ask.
“Glenn told me,” he answers straight away.
“How is Glenn?”
“On leave. He hasn’t left his house.”
That breaks my heart.