Kinlee laughed and shook her head. “He’s the one who’s pushing adoption. I mean, we could, I know we could afford it. But”—she glanced at me—“what if we never get the opportunity, and I get my hopes up? I don’t know if I can handle that,” she whispered.
“Kinlee,” I choked out.
“I just want to be a mom. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
My chin quivered as I watched more tears fill her eyes. “Then don’t be afraid to try. You don’t want to look back in twenty or thirty years and wonder what would have happened if you had just gone for it now. Right?”
Just like how I hadn’t wanted to lose myself in a life I hated with Charles, so I’d run away. Just like how I had done something I never would have seen myself do so I could be with the man I needed in order to breathe. In both cases, I hadn’t wanted to look back in twenty or thirty years and wonder what would have happened if I had done those things . . . I’d wanted to know what did happen.
12
Brody
June 17, 2015
“I JUST NEED to know if you think I should get an attorney, or what the best way to go about this would be.”
Chief sat there with a dumbfounded expression on his face, and after a few seconds blinked his eyes quickly and shook his head. “Honestly, I’m lost, Saco,” he said as he threw his hands up. “So, according to the reports, she didn’t take the pills. Then she refused to go home with you when she was released from the hospital. And now already the next day is demanding to come back to your home with you?”
“Do you see why I’m so close to breaking? I almost took your advice yesterday morning, Chief. I was this close to saying screw the whole thing and stepping back from trying to get her help. Then I found her on the floor of her bathroom unconscious, and now all this is happening. She. Needs. Help. And all her parents are doing is enabling her crazy fits. I don’t know if all three of them are in on this, or if I’m honestly just missing something.”
“Play the voice mail again.”
Leaning forward, I tapped my screen and hit the voice mail that Olivia’s dad had left me two hours before. He’d called thirty minutes after Olivia’s constant calling and sobbing voice mails had stopped to let me know that he was calling his attorney and they would be coming after me for spousal neglect because I couldn’t afford to pay for the hospital while she was in it, couldn’t afford her lifestyle, and refused to provide shelter seeing as I wouldn’t let her back in the house.
I hadn’t paid the ER fee at the hospital because Mr. Reynolds had told the administrator not to bother asking me for payment since I couldn’t afford bread, much less a hospital visit; then he more or less threw his credit card at the woman. I couldn’t afford Liv’s lifestyle because she wanted to be like the fucking Cunninghams and thought $100 shoes were for homeless people. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t letting her back in the house. She still had her key, and I sure as shit hadn’t changed the locks. I just hadn’t asked her to come back, and Liv, being the girl she was, wanted me to beg her to come back. Seeing as how I couldn’t stand the woman and was trying to get her help before I divorced her, I had no desire to beg her to come anywhere near me.
So if that was spousal neglect, then yeah, the attorney definitely had a reason to go after me. While I knew he didn’t, I knew Liv and her family, and I wouldn’t have put it past them to somehow find a way to have something on me.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I wh
ispered as Mr. Reynolds’s voice drifted to an end on my phone.
“I don’t blame you, but you have to be strong. Don’t let this break you, not after everything you’ve been through. Have you—” Chief cut off and eyed me for a moment. “I know you’re not happy. Have you ever thought of leaving her?”
“That’s what I meant just now. I’ve been wanting to for over a month now, but I wanted to get her help first. I can’t, though. I can’t help her if this is how they come back at me. You have no idea how responsible I feel for the woman Olivia has turned into, but I’ve been done with her for years. And now . . . well, now I’m done being responsible for her too. If they want to make it seem like I faked her suicide attempt, and then threaten me with their attorney because I’m not asking her to come back home the next day, then her parents can take care of her.”
Saying the words out loud, even if just to my chief, made this crushing weight slowly begin to lift from my chest. And suddenly, I couldn’t wait any longer. I’d dealt with her for far too long, I’d made Kamryn wait for this for too long, and now that I knew that Olivia was a lost cause, there was nothing else to wait for.
I stood up quickly, and Chief gave me an odd smile. It was happy, but still somehow pained. Like he knew this was something I’d agonized over, but needed nonetheless. “Well, I guess you’ll probably be getting an attorney regardless, then. Just let me know if you need tonight off.”
Shaking my head, I grabbed my phone and headed toward the door. “I’ll be in. Thank you for listening.”
As I drove to an attorney’s office in town I called Kamryn, but she didn’t answer. Knowing she was either near Kinlee or too busy at work, I didn’t bother leaving a message and tossed my phone in a cup holder. I tried to calm my anxious shaking as I drove and focused on what was to come. I was finally going to do what I should have done long ago.
I walked in, told the receptionist what I needed, gave her my name, and took a seat in the lobby. Not three minutes later, a woman in a suit walked out.
“Mr. Saco?”
“Yes.” Standing, I offered my hand, which she shook.
“I was told you were looking to file for divorce. Is that correct?”
My hands started shaking even harder, and my stomach tightened in anticipation. “That’s correct.”
With a smile, she nodded once and took a step back. “Okay, just making sure I knew what to be ready for. I’m finishing up something that needs to be sent over to a client. It will only take a few minutes, if you don’t mind waiting.”
“That’s fine, I’ll be here.”