I turn to Fee, knowing I’d seen all the explanation I’d ever need as we’d stepped from the elevator. There couldn’t be any other reason for the alarmed hitch in her breath and the way she’d clung to me as though I were her life raft. And if that wasn’t enough, the way Simon’s gaze had fallen to Lulu filled in all the gaps.
It does not at all surprise me that he turned his back on Fee when she was pregnant.
Lulu is a Hayes through and through. I see it now. See how easy it was to fool myself. Her dark hair, those piercing blue eyes so like his. She even has the family give no fucks attitude. I wonder if she’ll learn to play pretend as well as we have because, right now, she’s not so adept at hiding her feelings.
Good for you, kid.
“Sweetheart, your mommy and I know each other in a biblical sense.” I step forward ready to knock this fucker right out, stalling at Fee’s low tone.
“You are a complete shit,” she whispers suddenly, her words shaky and her face deathly pale. “You made sure I couldn’t find you.”
“Well, yeah.” He answers as though she’d just offered him a beer. She couldn’t find him. Then I guess . . . I thought Lulu’s father was an old boyfriend?
“You fucker,” I growl, yet going nowhere as Fee’s fingers tighten around mine.
“Don’t. Please. Not here.” Fee’s gaze dips to Lulu. I force back this wave of resentment and wrath after seeing her worried little face.
Am I aiming this at the right person?
Hell yes. I’m angry with my brother.
And yes, I’m angry with Fee, because something isn’t ringing true, here.
For the right reasons and to the right degree?
I guess that all depends. My brother is a prick, no more so than right now. That he would use this moment to crow, to make the mother of his child feel like this? It’s lower than low. It’s fucking despicable. As for Fee, I’m angry she didn’t wait for me, which I know makes no fucking sense. That it’s unfair. But that’s the strange thing about feelings. They don’t always make sense.
As for timing, I know there’s no place for my anger right now.
Purpose? I guess only time will tell what he’ll want to do with this.
“Don’t worry, babe. We’re not going to cause a scene. I know he’s the big bad Navy SEAL and all, but he’s not going to hit me.” His gaze flicks to Lulu, intuiting perfectly why.
I’ve been on the receiving end of some of Fee’s icy looks, this the one she sends him is nothing short of perfect. “I am not your babe. I never have been, and I never will be.”
“Is this your way of saying we’re not going to be one big happy family? Haven’t you missed me?”
“You can’t miss someone who never existed in the first place.”
I find myself speculating on her response. Most people never have a real understanding of Simon. My father used to say, “still waters run deep with that boy”. But I think he missed the point completely. With Simon, still rivers are just still. Like an empty void. How long did Fee date him to come to the same understanding?
“You should get your ass to church, Simon. It might be a good idea to start praying.”
“Good one,” he says, laughing off my warning. “You know, Car, it’s not like I planned it.” His eyes skim over his child once more. His own flesh and blood and he’d refer to that treasure as an it? “But I can’t say I’m not enjoying the way it’s playing out.”
Like we live to be his entertainment.
“Why is the man making Uncle Car angry?”
Simon barks out a laugh. “Well, you got that right. What’s your name, honey?” His tone almost avuncular; the irony isn’t lost on me, the injustice of it all burning through my insides.
“Ermintrude,” Lu answers without missing a beat.
“That’s an . . . unusual name.”
“It’s a stupid one. And it’s not my name ’cause I don’t talk to strangers. ’Specially ones who make my mommy look like she wants to cry.” Then for good measure, she kicks him square in the shin with her pink fluffy slippers. “Bullies aren’t nice!” she yells.
This kid has him pegged, even if we are beginning to draw attention.
“I see she got the infamous Hayes temper.” His gaze glides to the car idling outside, my own attention drawn by a tug to the leg of my pants.
“I don’t like this man.”
“I know, princess. Why don’t you and mommy go back to the room? I’ll be up soon,” I add when it appears that she might protest. I cut off Fee’s response with a sharp hug. “Whatever you need to say can wait. Trust me. I’ll be up soon.”