Hold the Forevers

“Always so giving,” my mom said. “But she needs to take care of herself first. Like moving here for PT school …”

“Not this again,” I groaned.

“You had your pick of schools. You could have gone anywhere.”

“I know, Mom.”

“You don’t want to get stuck in your hometown when you have everything going for you.”

“I’m not stuck here.”

Cole smothered his laughter. “She made the right choice. She needed to be near you.”

My throat closed at the words. I turned away from him, so he wouldn’t see the tears prick at my eyes. It had simultaneously been the hardest and easiest decision of my life. I’d second-guessed myself about it until I was blue in the face. But it helped, knowing he thought I’d made the right choice too.

“Well, you have to stay for the party now that you’re here.”

I cringed.

“I’d love to,” Cole said.

“Dee, put him to work. You still have balloons to blow up.”

Then my mom disappeared to give us privacy, heading into the kitchen, where she could safely eavesdrop on us.

I plopped back down onto the couch. “Are you really staying?”

“Your mom invited me. I feel like it’d be rude to decline.”

“Cole,” I muttered.

“You don’t look happy to see me.”

That wasn’t accurate. I was in fact very happy to see him. It had been over a year since I’d last seen him at the Falcons game. We’d gradually stopped talking after I decided to stay in Savannah. It wasn’t purposeful. It was just hard when he was still in San Francisco.

“I am,” I said. “I really am, but …”

“But?”

“Well, I’m seeing someone.”

“Ah.”

“Ash,” I whispered.

“Fuck … seriously?” Cole asked, his temper flaring.

“Don’t.”

“Lila …”

“Cole,” I snapped. “You don’t get to show up here, unannounced, and then judge my choices.”

He clenched his jaw. “Fine. But for the record, I think it’s a bad choice.”

“I figured you might.” I blew up three balloons before responding again. “Are you staying for the party?”

“I’m not driving four hours back tonight. Might as well stay.”

I sighed. “Cole, you should probably go.”

“Why? Is he going to be that upset?”

I arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Do you remember how you reacted when you knew that I was with him?”

“That was different.”

“No, it wasn’t!”

“Dee,” my mom called from the kitchen, “if you are threatening our guest, I’m going to be unhappy.”

I gritted my teeth and pulled out my phone. “I need to warn him. If he walks in and sees you sitting here …” I trailed off. I didn’t know what he’d do. But I knew that it would be messy.

Cole sighed. Then he put his hand on my phone. “I’ll go.”

My eyes shot up to his. The space between us had shrunk, and his hand was still on mine. I felt warm all over at his touch. This was Cole. My Cole. And God, I’d missed him. I wanted to demand he stay. Demand to know why he’d always insisted on being so far out of reach. But I couldn’t do any of those things.

I could only stare into his earnest blue eyes and see the boy I’d loved so fiercely for so long. The boy I’d wanted forever with before we wrecked it.

“Why did you really come?”

“I wanted to see you,” he said simply.

“You could have called or texted.”

“I know. Would you have seen me if I had?”

Yes.

He must have seen the thought flash through my mind because he smiled softly.

“No,” I lied.

“Then I guess it’s good I didn’t. Since you’re … otherwise occupied.”

“I guess it was,” I whispered.

I loved Ash. I didn’t want to hurt him. But what I felt for Cole was just as real. I didn’t know when it had happened, but I couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t ignore it.

I loved two men.

But I could only have one.

I’d made my choice.

Right?

I pulled back, breaking contact with Cole. “I’ll walk you out.”

He nodded and followed me to the front door. There was nothing left to say. Nothing that he hadn’t seen in my eyes. We were living in two different worlds. I’d thought it would work if we were ever back in the same place, but it didn’t seem likely that would ever happen. He was in San Francisco. I was here. Our paths had crossed and then diverged. There was nothing I could do about that.

I took two steps outside when I saw Ash’s Mercedes pull up to the curb. I froze, a rabbit caught in a snare. I was too late.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said under my breath.

“That’s him?” Cole asked behind me.

“Yep.”

“This should be fun.”

Fun wasn’t the word I would have gone with.

Ash threw open his door and stepped out. His eyes were narrowed and his body tense. I bounded down the rest of the walkway to his car.

“Hey, baby,” I said, forcing false enthusiasm.

“What’s he doing here?” His voice was tight and laced with anger, hot enough to burn.