Hold the Forevers

“Yes.”

His mouth was on mine again, desperate for heat and friction. The culmination of trying to deny for hours, days, years that we would reach this moment.

I ripped at his belt, freeing him from the constraints of his jeans, and he slipped me out of my thong. His lips came to mine. His body flush against mine.

“Lila,” he groaned as he slid inside of me.

“Yes,” I moaned. “Yes, Cole.”

“God, I love to hear you say my name. So fucking sexy.”

“Oh God.”

He wasn’t slow or controlled. As if he was as frantic for me as I was for him. Our bodies remembered this song and dance. It had been a few years, but it was as if no time had passed at all. We were more than in sync; we were one.

I dragged control from him, and he let me flip him onto his back, so I was riding him. I drew my dress over my head and flung it on the ground. My breasts bounced as I moved up and down on his cock. His fingers dug into my hips, slamming me down on him hard. I was going to have bruises on my thighs. Completely unexplainable bruises.

“Close,” he bit out.

“Yes.”

I was so close. Any second, I was going to explode.

He stared up at me with sex eyes filled with love, and it pushed me right over. I came shouting into the night, heedless of the neighbors. Let them complain.

Cole released with me, coming hard and fast until he was spent and sated under me. I collapsed forward against his chest. My breath coming out in uneven pants as he put his arms around me.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

And even though I knew I’d made a big mistake, I couldn’t bring myself to think about it. Nothing with Cole felt like a mistake. Maybe I’d feel differently in the morning, but right now, I was exactly where I needed to be.

30

New Orleans

October 12, 2014

“Oh!” I gasped as I slowly dragged myself back to consciousness.

I jerked up the covers to find Cole spreading my legs wider and brushing his tongue along my clit. I fell backward into the pillow as he slipped a finger inside of me.

“Oh God,” I groaned.

My hips bucked against his face, but he held me down easily with an arm across my hips. I squirmed and squirmed, but there was nowhere to go; I could only let the pressure build.

I came, gasping as pleasure rippled through my body. I was barely awake, and he’d just pushed me over the edge in a matter of minutes.

He grinned devilishly as he slid up my body. “Good morning.”

I blinked sleepily. “Morning.”

“Going to come for me a second time, Sunflower?” he asked.

“I …”

And then there were no words as he settled head at my wet entrance. There was just holding on to him for dear life as he plunged forward, taking me with abandon until I fucking did come a second time.

“What a morning wake-up,” I said when we were finished.

We both were sprawled, naked on the sheets. His arm was under my neck. I was tilted into him, as if I couldn’t escape the pull of his gravity.

“You’re welcome,” he teased.

“Can we stay here forever? I don’t want to catch my flight.”

He kissed my forehead and then trailed his fingers through my hair. “I wish we could, but we have to leave.”

“No, I don’t want to go back to reality.”

“I know. What are you going to do when you get home?”

I curved in even tighter against him. “Don’t make me think about it.”

“I’m going to break up with Harper,” he said so calmly.

“You are?” I peeked up at him.

“She’s not you.”

I flushed at the words. I’d wanted to hear them. Selfishly. But did it change anything for us? He was still across the country from me, and I was still in school for the rest of the year.

“Lila?”

“Hmm?”

“You are going to tell him, right?”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to think about this. I had no idea what it would be like when I got back to Savannah. Would I confess to Ash? Would he hate me forever for it? Could I survive his hate?

“Lila,” Cole said more urgently. He forced me to look at him. “You’re going to tell him.”

“I …”

Cole retreated like I’d hit him in my hesitancy. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He shook his head.

“I am. I’m going to tell him,” I said quickly, watching him slip away from me.

“You’re not.”

My throat closed. “I am. It’s just … different than with Harper.”

“It’s not fucking different,” he insisted. “Except that you’ve known him longer and his sole mission in life is to ruin us.”

“Technically, you’re ruining him right now.”

“Fuck. Him.”

I flinched at the words. It was wrong to want them both. So wrong. And I couldn’t fucking change a thing. I couldn’t disentangle them. The last thing I wanted to do was go home and tell Ash what had happened. I couldn’t stomach his reaction. I vibrated with fear and uncertainty. I didn’t regret this, but I was afraid of what would come. How I would hurt Ash.