Hold the Forevers

I bounced uncomfortably from one foot to the other while she made her excuses. My phone was a weight in my hand. I needed to tell Cole, but what the fuck would I even say?

I took a breath and texted him.

Ash got in a car accident. Marley and I are heading to the hospital. Please don’t be mad.

“Okay. We’re good. Let’s blow this Popsicle stand,” Marley said.

“I love you.”

“I know,” she said with a wink. “I’m your one true love.”

“So accurate,” I agreed as we made our way back to the valet. “I texted Cole. I haven’t heard back yet. He’s at a bachelor party, so he might not even look at it.”

“You look green.”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up. I had a five-minute conversation with Ash, and Cole threw a huge fit. I don’t want more of that.”

Marley touched my shoulder. “It’s okay. He’s going to understand that these are extenuating circumstances. It’s not the same.”

“I know that,” I said as I slipped into the driver’s seat. “But Cole isn’t rational when it comes to Ash.”

“He has reason,” Marley said.

I swallowed back bile. “I know.”

We almost made it to Emory when Cole’s call came in. I cringed and put him on the Bluetooth in my car.

“Hey,” I said.

“Lila, what the hell are you doing?”

Marley and I cringed at the same time. He sounded a little drunk and a lot furious.

“I’m here with Marley. Marley, say hi.”

“Hi, Cole,” she muttered.

“Mars,” he said curtly. “Y’all are going to the hospital to see Ash?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Lila,” he groaned.

“It’s not at all what you think. I’m going because when someone calls you, freaking out because they were in a car accident, you go. So, I’m going.” I paused. “You can meet us there if you want.”

“Oh, yes, good idea,” Marley said at once.

“Yes, because on the night of my friend’s bachelor party, what I really want to do is see Ash fucking Talmadge.”

I bit my lip. “I just mean, it’s so not a big deal that you could be there.”

Cole blew out an exasperated breath. “How did he even call you? I thought you’d blocked his number.”

I winced and glanced at Marley, who looked like she would rather be anywhere else in the world than in the middle of this argument.

“Uh, I didn’t block his number.”

Cole’s silence was worse than his words.

“We haven’t been talking or anything,” I said quickly.

“I just … fuck,” Cole said. “Fine, go see him in the hospital. It’s not like I can stop you. Even if it’s idiotic.”

And then he hung up the phone.

Marley grimaced. “That went … poorly.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “As bad as I’d expected.”

“Or worse.”

I nodded mutely. What else could I say? We’d been together almost a year and a half. If he couldn’t trust me when someone was hurting and there was no ulterior motive, would he ever trust me?

We parked in lot in front of the emergency room and then hustled inside, still dressed to impress in ballgowns and heels. A nurse informed us that Ash was getting tests done right now and to wait. We paced anxiously for another forty-five minutes before they allowed us back to see him.

I burst into the room and found him sitting in a hospital bed with a wrap around his middle and some bruising on his face and shoulders.

“Lila,” he said in relief. His smile lit up when he saw me. As if he’d won a prize out of one of those impossible claw machines.

“They wouldn’t let us back for almost an hour.”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Marley stepped in. “Wow, you look like shit.”

Ash laughed and then touched his ribs. “Fuck, don’t make me laugh like that.”

“Sorry,” Marley said.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Some broken ribs, I guess. They finally gave me some pain meds. Now, I’m waiting on the last tests, prescriptions, and shit. It’s impossibly slow here.” He eyed our attire. “You didn’t have to get all dressed up for me.”

I chuckled. “Marley won an award. We were at her ceremony.”

“Shit. Sorry, Mars. I didn’t mean to take you away from that.”

Marley wrinkled her nose and sank into a chair across the room. “Trust me, you were doing me a favor.”

“Then, as ever, I’m at your service.”

“So, what happened?” Marley asked.

Ash shrugged and then winced again. “I don’t even know. I was going through a green light, and some old lady wasn’t paying attention. She drove straight through the red and hit me on the driver’s side.”

“Damn,” Marley said.

I sank into the chair next to his bed. We hadn’t talked in so long, but sitting here right now, I knew that nothing had changed. That I felt exactly the same as I always had for Ash, and that I wanted to comfort him as I always had. He was still my Ash. Even if he could never be my Ash again. I’d broken that between us. I was the one who had walked away and said we couldn’t fix what was broken. And I was the one who had to suffer the consequences of that.