Hold the Forevers

I flushed at the intensity in his words and cleared my throat. “How are your injuries?”

“Pretty much healed. There’s still some lingering ache in my ribs, but otherwise, I’m back to normal.”

“That’s good.” I hadn’t messaged him to find out how he was doing, and it was nice to get confirmation. “I should probably …” I gestured away from him. We both came to our feet at the same time. The distance interminable. “It was good, seeing you.”

“Is it always going to be like this?”

I bit my lip. “I don’t know, Ash.”

He sighed, dropping his gaze to his boots and then meeting my eyes again. “It shouldn’t have to be this way with us. We’ve known each other too long.”

“Which is precisely why it is this way.”

“I wish we could go back to the days when you were my Amy and I was your Laurie.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “As if the days were that easy then.”

“The feelings were always real.”

“The feelings weren’t the problem.” I took a step back. “I should go.”

But before I could step away, Cole had returned, and he looked pissed.

“What’s this?”

Ash dropped his remorse like flipping a switch. He glared at Cole. “Just the person I didn’t want to see.”

“Don’t. We’re in the church,” I reminded them.

Not that either of them heard me.

Cole took a step toward Ash. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work.”

“Cole, stop it.” I put my hand in his and tugged him backward. “I’m tired. We drove all night to get here. It’s Christmas. Please.”

Cole and Ash stared at each other for another second before Cole looked down at me.

He nodded once. “He’s not worth my fucking time.”

Cole let me drag him out of the church and onto the steps of the cathedral. We still had to wait for my mom, but I wasn’t going to wait inside any longer. The tension between them was the pin on a grenade. The longer they spent in each other’s presence, the more likely it was going to be pulled.

I smacked Cole. “Why did you have to do that?”

“Why were you even talking to him?”

“It was nothing. I’m not getting back together with Ash. You need to get this through your head. All you see is red when he’s around, and that’s what he wants.”

“That’s all good and well, Lila, but he’s trying to come between us. I won’t let him do it.”

“He’s not,” I insisted. “Can’t you hear a word I’m saying? It is my choice, and I’m standing right here.”

But Cole didn’t hear what I’d said because Ash hadn’t stayed in the church and let us walk out, like I’d wanted. He followed behind us, and Cole was beyond rational. He was a lit fuse.

I’d seen that anger directed at me in the past. I knew the intensity of it. That his temper was his downfall. It was why he’d gotten so mad that night of the Bama game, and the day we’d broken up on Frat Beach, and every single time since when Ash came up. It burned so slowly until he erupted, and then Cole couldn’t come back from the anger until it burned itself out.

“Please, don’t,” I gasped, tugging on his arm. “Let it go.”

“It ends today.”

Ash stopped in front of us with a sneer on his face. Ash had no temper. Not like Cole. But he loved me, was obsessed with me, and he always had been. He knew what set Cole off. He would happily antagonize him into this showdown that was a long time coming.

Fuck.

“Stay the fuck away from her,” Cole spat.

“Or what?” Ash demanded. “What are you going to do if I don’t stay away?”

“Please don’t do this.” I closed my eyes and prayed for it all to stop.

This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. I’d caused this whole mess, but I didn’t want it to happen like this. I couldn’t help that I loved them both and that I always had. It would be easier if they didn’t hate each other so much.

“What if she wants to see me?” Ash taunted.

Cole’s anger bubbled fully to the surface. He left my side and got up in Ash’s face. “You’re completely deluded if you think that she’d ever want you again. You’re an annoyance, holding on to something that isn’t yours anymore. You’re a fly, a gnat. You’re just in the way. Always in my fucking way.”

“If you didn’t think that I was a threat, you wouldn’t be standing here right now,” Ash said with a smirk.

Cole clenched his fists. “You’re just jealous we’re together. That she chose me over you,” he snarled. And I saw the second before he went in for the kill. “Still mad that I fucked her in New Orleans.”

I froze at the words. The look on Ash’s face. He’d never gotten over that. How could he? I’d thought that the last two years had fixed it, but the split second of devastation on his face told me everything I needed to know.