The Crush

I didn’t want a taste of it. I wanted to bury myself in it, experience all of it—and not just sex, either. I wanted Jace in every way, and it felt so unfair to have to suppress these feelings forever. That felt like a daunting task.

I felt tears in my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them fall. Shit. I didn’t want to cry, but it was all too much. I knew he was right, but I felt desperate.

“Can’t we just sneak around for a while?”

He let out a shaky breath and shook his head. “We can’t do that.”

“Says who? If Nathan doesn’t find out, what’s the harm?”

His eyes darted up to meet mine. “He would find out eventually. Not to mention, you’re forgetting that we all live together. If anything goes wrong between us, even if Nathan didn’t know about it, it would be impossible to deal with it while living under the same roof.”

It was crazy that I’d be willing to be with him in secret, just to be able to experience it. But I was. If he’d agreed, I would have gone with it in a heartbeat.

I rubbed my arms. “Okay...so...I guess there’s nothing more to talk about here.” I felt a tear finally fall as I looked down at my feet, so frustrated and hopeless.

“Please don’t cry, Farrah. Fuck. I’m not worth your tears.”

“Things are supposed to just go back to normal now? I’m supposed to deal with you bringing girls around again...after you kissed me?”

“I won’t bring anyone here. You have my word.” His eyes softened, filled with regret, as he cupped my cheek. “The last thing I want is to hurt you.”

The automatic garage door sounded, and Jace flinched. Nathan was home early.

I wiped my eyes. “Shit.” I hurried out of the room so Jace would be alone when Nathan entered.

I ran to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I noticed a bruise on my neck from Jace. Tracing it with my finger, I was still damn turned on. It had never occurred to me just how hard up I’d been. Standing here crying, yet tingling between my legs, aching for Jace’s dick, was a weird combination. But the need inside me was relentless. My weakness was pathetic. I licked my lips, still able to taste him, remembering the way he groaned when we’d kissed.

The muffled sounds of Jace and Nathan talking came into earshot, but I couldn’t tell what they were saying. I wasn’t sure if Jace planned to tell my brother about what happened with that James guy today.

After a few minutes in the bathroom, I snuck away to my room and applied some makeup to the mark on my neck before covering it with my hair. Looking at myself in the mirror, I vowed to act as nonchalantly as possible when I faced my brother.

When I finally entered the kitchen, Jace sat across from Nathan at the table. Both were holding beers.

“I told Nathan what happened today,” Jace said.

Deciding to be a smartass, I tilted my head. “About what exactly?”

He glared at me. “About James stopping by.”

“Oh yeah.” I shrugged. “It was no big deal.”

Nathan faced me. “Well, needless to say, it upsets me that you opened the door, and I hope you learned your lesson. You always need to check the peephole. At least this asshole won’t come by anymore now that he has his money.”

“He won’t,” Jace said. “But she still needs to be vigilant. Because this shit isn’t exactly over yet. There are others.”

I opened the fridge and downed some orange juice right out of the carton. That was out of character for me, but my head was still somewhere else.

I put the OJ back and turned to Nathan. “How’s the new job going?”

“Pretty good.” He grinned. “I actually came close to selling a car today, but then the guy’s wife convinced him to go to the other dealership across town tomorrow before making a decision. So that sucked.”

I frowned sympathetically. “Maybe he’ll be back.”

“Yeah. Hope so.”

“That’s cool, though, man,” Jace said. “I’ll cross my fingers that it comes through.”

“Thanks. I could use the extra cash.”

“I’m going for a stroll around the block. I need some exercise,” I announced. I also needed a breather.

“Have fun,” my brother called as I headed out the door without looking at Jace.

As the warm, early-evening breeze hit my face, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. So much in my own head, I nearly ran into a woman walking her dog.

“Sorry!” I yelped.

Unable to manage my feelings anymore, I needed to tell someone about what happened today. The only person I trusted enough was Kellianne. She knew my history with Jace, and I wouldn’t have to explain everything from the beginning.

Pulling out my phone, I dialed her.

“What’s up?” she said when she answered.