The Crush

“Jace kissed me,” I announced. “And I’m all fucked-up.”

“Oh my God. What?” she screamed, nearly blowing out my eardrum. “Start from the beginning, please.”

I told her the whole story, backing up to the convo Jace and I had the night he drove me home from The Iguana, and ending on today’s mouth mauling after the James incident.

“Oh my God, Farrah. That’s so freaking hot. He totally lost control.”

“I was honestly taken aback by it. I thought all hope was gone after what he said in his truck that night. But when he kissed me today, I realized how far gone I am. I would’ve done just about anything to keep kissing him. He shut everything down, though, insisting nothing more could ever happen between us. How am I supposed to just…forget?”

“This is a tough situation.” She sighed. “But I don’t think you have any choice. You know your brother would flip. Jace is really trying to do the right thing here. No matter what, you and Nathan will be fine. It’s his relationship with Jace that would be on the line.”

I stopped walking and looked up at the sky. “I must be a horrible person for wanting to sneak around behind Nathan’s back.”

She sighed. “No, you’re not a bad person. You’re just a little lovesick—and a lot horny—for a man you’ve crushed on since you were a kid. Even though sneaking around with him wouldn’t be right, I’m sure the idea of getting to be with him is mind-blowing. I think the only chance you’ll have of that is if Jace loses control again. Basically, he has to be thinking solely with his dick and not his brain. He won’t decide to do it. It would just happen.”

“I don’t want Jace to have to carry around any guilt. I won’t taunt him into losing control. I just wish things were different.”

“Yeah, but they’re not. Knowing where things stand, try to figure out how to walk away. It’s not easy because he lives with you, but you need to make a conscious effort to move on.”

“And how do I do that exactly?”

“You need to meet someone else, get your mind off Jace. Remember that fictitious online-dating story you gave him? Maybe we need to get you set up and make that a reality.”

That sounded miserable, but I did need to find a way to shift my focus off the unattainable man who had been consuming my mind and heart for way too long.

After our conversation, I thanked Kellianne and continued my walk around the block.

When I got back to the house, Jace’s truck was gone.

Inside, Nathan was alone in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

“Jace left?” I asked.

He banged a metal spoon against the saucepan. “Yup.”

“Where did he go?”

“Not sure. Probably to that girl Alyssa’s house.”

Jealousy burned in my throat. “I see.”

Nathan cocked a brow. “Why? You need him for something?”

Looking down, I shook my head. “No.”

Returning to my room, I spent the next hour stewing until Nathan called me to the kitchen for some pasta that he’d made.

After dinner, I returned to my room and listened to music for the rest of the evening.

The worst part? Jace never came home that night.

Chapter 10

* * *

Jace

Since the day I lost control with Farrah, I’d spent every night at my parents’ house. It was bad enough that I couldn’t look Nathan in the eyes anymore, but it was obvious I needed to stay far away from Farrah, too. It had been two weeks, and I still didn’t have the balls to return to my bedroom at their house.

I’d made up a story that my mother needed help at home with my dad, so I’d be living with them temporarily. Meanwhile, my parents didn’t understand why I suddenly wanted to spend so much time with them. The good news was, even though my personal life was a shitshow, things at work were finally stabilizing. The bank had approved our business loan, so Muldoon would be able to pay off all of the money we owed. I’d also be able to put the twenty grand I’d given to James back in my bank account.

Dad’s health was better than ever, too. After the last scan, the doctors were pretty sure his cancer was in remission. It was only a matter of time before he’d be returning to work. Then I could decide whether I wanted to find a job here or move back to Charlotte and try to get my old one back. The latter made the most sense; it was the direction I was leaning.

“How long are you going to be gracing us with your presence before returning to Nathan’s?” my mother asked one morning over breakfast.

“I’m probably going back there tonight.”

“Well, I’m not going to complain about this extra time I had with you, even if I don’t understand it. You refused to move back in with us when you came home, so these bonus days were nice.”