The Crush

“I’d stay for her,” I immediately said.

“What? You can’t be serious.”

“I’m dead serious, Nathan. I wasn’t expecting it to happen, but I fell in love with your sister.”

Farrah’s eyes met mine, and the fear in them seemed to ease a little. That wasn’t the way I’d wanted to unleash those words, but here we were.

I love her.

“Love?” Nathan scoffed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You don’t know shit about love,” he screamed. “Lust, maybe…”

Raising my voice, I yelled back, “I get that you’re angry we kept this from you, but we needed to figure things out in private before throwing it on you.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. Because this ain’t happening.” He turned to her. “Not if you give two shits about your relationship with me, it ain’t.”

Farrah got in his face. “You’re really going to sit here and say I have to choose him or you?”

Nathan flashed me a diabolical look. “You don’t have any clue who you’re really getting involved with, little sister.”

His words were a punch to the stomach. Fear rose within me. And I knew. I knew what was coming. My instinct was to look down at my feet so I didn’t have to see the pain in her eyes when she found out.

Farrah continued to defend my actions. “Of course, I know him! I trust Jace more than I trust most people. He’s your best friend, for Christ’s sake. You should trust him, too.”

“Really. Tell me then, did you have a clue that the guy you’re screwing is probably the reason our parents aren’t here?”

Farrah gripped my side, my shirt now drenched. “How dare you say that!”

She had no idea what she was defending.

“Nathan, stop,” I demanded.

She couldn’t find out like this.

She looked at me. “Why would he say something so cruel?”

I felt the world closing in on me. The right words were nowhere to be found.

“Why would I say that?” Nathan replied. “Because it’s true. The only reason the gunman fired at our parents that day was because Jace decided to charge at him. The guy never would have shot Mom and Dad if Jace hadn’t provoked him.” He looked me in the eyes. “He’s the reason our parents aren’t here.”

He’d unleashed those words in the most terrible way, leaving me speechless to defend myself.

Farrah, though? She didn’t even flinch, nor did she hesitate to stick up for me.

“How the hell do you know that, Nathan? You weren’t even there.”

“I didn’t have to be. Jace told me.”

Her eyes glistened as she turned to me. “Is that true?”

I could hardly get the words out. But I tried for her sake. “Yes…I…thought I could tackle him. I tried to…and…” My voice shook as I found myself unable to explain my rationale that day.

As I watched the pained expression on Farrah’s face, I regretted the day all those years ago I’d decided to open up to Nathan about what happened. He would’ve never known if I hadn’t told him. But about a year after the accident, the truth had been eating away at me. The fact that I’d charged at the assailant never made it into the police report because I’d never told anyone. The decision to try to get the gun from him continued to haunt me every day of my life. And now, my secret was ripped open for what felt like all the world to see—or at least my entire world: Farrah.

To my absolute shock, rather than cry or come at me with hatred, Farrah wrapped her arms around me again. “It’s not your fault, Jace. Whatever you did…you thought you were protecting them.”

But Nathan wouldn’t leave it. “If he really thinks he didn’t do anything wrong, then why did he not tell you? He hid the most important thing from you so it didn’t deter his chances of taking advantage of you.”

My fists tightened. “That’s not fucking true, Nathan.” I knew he was hurt, but I wanted to punch him right now.

“You’re just another notch on his belt, Farrah.”

I didn’t know what was worse: the fact that Farrah had to find out this way, the fact that Nathan was hurt, or the fact that deep down, I worried he was right about me, about all of this. Farrah sticking up for me only solidified the fact that she was too easy on me. It hadn’t even taken her a full minute to put all of her faith in me. I didn’t deserve the huge pass she was giving me right now.

Nathan pointed his finger at me. “I thought I could forgive you for that huge mistake you made because it was unintentional. But this? Sneaking around with my sister? This was calculated. You crossed a line. I won’t forgive this, and I won’t forget everything else, either.”

Farrah still hadn’t let go of me. “Nathan, please. Can we all just go home and discuss this?”